How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!

[Jacky]

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!
My husband does not drink everyday...he is very successful. A ggod father a very decent husband. He is controlling and that can be a problem....not violent.

But he is in the habit of binging how do I go about telling him he has a problem and needs help

 

[Harlan Norris]

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!
My husband does not drink everyday...he is very successful. A ggod father a very decent husband. He is controlling and that can be a problem....not violent.

But he is in the habit of binging how do I go about telling him he has a problem and needs help

That could've been me you are talking about. I'd go for a couple of weeks,having a drink now and then.Then for no reason I could think of I'd tie one on.My binge might last 2 or 3 days.Believe me I knew I was a drunk,but I figured everyone drank more or less the same as I did.People did tell me I was an alchoholic.I ignored them,or told them to mind their own business.I did some of my heaviest drinking when the kids were young.They were not untouched by this.I think if you mention that his drinking is a bad example for the children,that they shouldn't have to see him in that condition.That might help.It will definately spawn a discussion on the subject.Talk to him when he's not drinking.Tell him times have changed now that he has children.Tell him you don't like it either.In other words tell him the truth.His reaction will tell you a lot about whether or not he's willing to consider quitting.If not then I suggest you get counceling,to help you figure out your next move.In my case I quit because my liver gave out.It was simply a matter of life and death.Not long ago I attended a funeral of a friend who died of liver failier.He was 43.If you are drinking hard in your 40s,you definately have some liver damage,maybe a lot.You might tell him that.

 

[MarkChristopher]

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!
My husband does not drink everyday...he is very successful. A ggod father a very decent husband. He is controlling and that can be a problem....not violent.

But he is in the habit of binging how do I go about telling him he has a problem and needs help

Jaky, it can be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences to have to go through.

For me, it ended up with my wife having one of the serious from the heart conversation of what she saw myself becoming. It was an eye-opener! And it told me once and for all that I had to turn and walk away from this self-destructive lifestyle.

I'm glad that I was confronted by her. I could not possibly have continued on the path that I was on.

It has made me come to appreciate her all the more.

Hope this helps!

 

[Jacky]

Jaky, it can be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences to have to go through.

For me, it ended up with my wife having one of the serious from the heart conversation of what she saw myself becoming. It was an eye-opener! And it told me once and for all that I had to turn and walk away from this self-destructive lifestyle.

I'm glad that I was confronted by her. I could not possibly have continued on the path that I was on.

It has made me come to appreciate her all the more.

Hope this helps!

Hi Markchristopher
I had a very serious conversation with my husband...he has promised not to binge drink again. Is this true? What do I do if this is not true?
I have an 18 yr old daughter...she is so angry with him. He cannot handle her anger or the fact that she knows about his actions. What do I say to my two daughters when they ask me if I can trust my husband.
He says he is not an alcoholic...and promises to give up completely,Do I wait to see what happens. He will never go for counceling.How long was it before you really got your life together.

 

[huk]

Jacky,
My name is Chris, and I'm a recovered alcoholic.
I'm very curious.

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!

How do you know he is?....What do you think it means to be an alcoholic.???

 

[ephraimanesti]

Hi Markchristopher
I had a very serious conversation with my husband...he has promised not to binge drink again. Is this true? What do I do if this is not true?
I have an 18 yr old daughter...she is so angry with him. He cannot handle her anger or the fact that she knows about his actions. What do I say to my two daughters when they ask me if I can trust my husband.
He says he is not an alcoholic...and promises to give up completely,Do I wait to see what happens. He will never go for counceling.How long was it before you really got your life together.

MY DEAR SISTER IN CHRIST,

Perhaps your husband may be able to keep his promise to stop drinking--but don't count on it. To prepare for the likely event that sooner or later he falls off the wagon, i would get a hold of a copy of the book "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS", gift wrap it, and prepare to present it to him to read should he relapse back into active drinking. "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS" is the basic text used by the Alcoholics Anonymous Fellowship and is one of the best basic primers on alcoholism and the most effective means of treating it. Urge him to read it and find out the truth regarding his problem with alcohol. If you and your two daughters are all upset at the extent of his drinking, it is quite probable that he is indeed at least a serious abuser, if not an alcoholic. Obviously, that is not for me to say. Get the book and let him figure it out for himself. The book is available through Amazon.com and through most other book stores. It is also available directly through A.A. itself. A.A. Meetings are worldwide. You can check the listings for Thiland on the Web.
As for yourself and your daughters, information on alcoholism and recovery are available at many sites is you type in Alcoholics Anonymous in Google or similiar search engine. The more you know, the more you can help.

MAY YOU ALL BE BLESSED,
ephraim

 

[Jacky]

Jacky,
My name is Chris, and I'm a recovered alcoholic.
I'm very curious.

How do you know he is?....What do you think it means to be an alcoholic.???

Hi Chris..I thankgod that you have been able to recover from this burden. I praise God that he gives you the strength to be sober.
I wait for the day when my husband can overcome this need to indulge in alcohol....I pray for the day when we can be a recovering family from the effects of my husband's habit...it is hard from him. It is not a cont habit...he binges and then it is bad...now I had to react because he has let this habit interfer with his relationship with his daughters. They are grownup and will always remember a broken promise...my eldest is going away to college. And this scares me...when she saw me threaten the life out of my husband....she felt sorry for him...but sais mom what if I get a husband who abuses alcohol...I know I cannot see myself be so angry anddisappointed and yet want to help him so much. I may walk away.I pray that Jesus just heals my husband and just takes away this need.

 

[huk]

Hi Chris..I thankgod that you have been able to recover from this burden. I praise God that he gives you the strength to be sober.
I wait for the day when my husband can overcome this need to indulge in alcohol....I pray for the day when we can be a recovering family from the effects of my husband's habit...it is hard from him. It is not a cont habit...he binges and then it is bad...now I had to react because he has let this habit interfer with his relationship with his daughters. They are grownup and will always remember a broken promise...my eldest is going away to college. And this scares me...when she saw me threaten the life out of my husband....she felt sorry for him...but sais mom what if I get a husband who abuses alcohol...I know I cannot see myself be so angry anddisappointed and yet want to help him so much. I may walk away.I pray that Jesus just heals my husband and just takes away this need.

Jacky,
You never answered my questions

 

[Stormy]

Jacky: I am also the wife of an alcoholic, and you are carrying a heavy burden. You probably won't agree with or understand what I am trying to tell you... But there is nothing that you can do to help him, nor prevent him from becoming an alcoholic. He is the only one who can make this decision. It is really not in your hands.

His drinking is not about anything that you have or haven't done.

Fighting and arguing with him will not solve the problem, and could actually make it worse. Many alcoholics drink because of low self esteem, too many problems, and just a desire to escape.

Then on the other hand, loving and caring for him so that his drinking does not have any down side will just put off the time that he is able to see that he needs to get control.

Please get consoling for yourself and your children. This is something that you can do. Alcohol claims more that then one victim. It effects the whole family.

I am praying for all of you, and would very much appreciate your prayers for me.

 

[Redstiletto]

I had the same problem with my mom, except she does drink, just about every day, but she maintains being successful and an awesome woman.

I tried sticking brochures in her purse, starting with very subtle things like that, and then my sisters started questioning her on it.

Your best bet is to just sit down and talk to him, tell him you are conserned. If you cant sit and talk to him and feel comfortable, then something is wrong.

Yes he will probably get angry, but maybe through the anger he will see that what you are saying is true.

 

[AngelDove1]

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!
My husband does not drink everyday...he is very successful. A ggod father a very decent husband. He is controlling and that can be a problem....not violent.

But he is in the habit of binging how do I go about telling him he has a problem and needs help

I there.....

Just like you posted.
You tell him he has a drinking problem..

It does not matter how often he drinks.If it changes his personality in any way ,he hasa problem.

You might want to consider A-Anon for starters.
There you will learn ...you can not change the person and you can learn to live with it ...if you chose to.You will get ...as they call then "tools" to learn how to handle most co-dependent behavior's.

You could ask your husband to try going to AA meetings.And see if he hears anything that might suggest that he might have a problem.

If its effecting your relationship...tell him so.
And that when he drinks ,his persona changes.
And that you don't like this person he changes into when he drinks.

Shalom........

 

[Gentle]

is this just about behavoir and not being able to handle alcohol? could all be perception,I see people going to meetings who drink less in na week than I do in a day
it just makes me mellower
or im just too Canadian or Native could be

 

[Revolutionist]

The Alcoholic has to hitheir bottom before they even can realise where they are at. Everyones bottom is different. No two are the same. all you can do is keep praying for them all of the time and the Holy Spirit will act on your prayers. You also need to pray scriptures about the problem.
from: Revolutionist His Bondservent Forever. \o/

 

[Anna N. Amos]

How do I tell my husband...he is an alcoholic!
My husband does not drink everyday...he is very successful. A ggod father a very decent husband. He is controlling and that can be a problem....not violent.

But he is in the habit of binging how do I go about telling him he has a problem and needs help

According to AA it is not how often or how much you drink it is what HAPPENS each time you drink.

For instance, each time does he go wild and spend money, or get nasty? Or does he get into fights?

You can call AA and ask for suggestions, there is alanon for the family members hurt by some elses drinking.