How do i know the guy i'm with is the guy God wants me to be with??

[Beech]

My question for anyone to anwser is what i dais in the title. I need some advice from anyon e who is willing to give it to me...thanx

 

[enslow]

You're very young, so you have lots of time to work it out. However, there are a few questions you can ask yourself that will guide your heart.

#1. Is there anything about him that you secretly hope will change? If there is, you're better off not marrying unless you know for sure that it won't bother you in a marriage. We all will change, but we can't count on anyone changing the way we want them to.

#2 Does he respect you always? It's true we all make mistakes. Does he apologize when he recognizes a mistake?

#3 Do you respect him? Do you feel comfortable apologizing to him?

#4 Are you good friends? You can't rely on passion alone to hold your marriage together for all time. Passion is wonderful, but flows much like a wave. Sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low. It's not a bad thing, it's just a fact, and can make marriages more exciting!

I used 'he' to mean indeterminate gender, so it applies to both males and females.

God bless

Enslow

 

[desi]

You're 15, that's kind of young to have found your husband but not impossible. You should probably pray for God to guide your relationship and take things slow. You have plenty of time so there is no rush. If you feel rushed something is probably wrong. Is he a Christian, does he treat you with respect?

 

[SlowRoasted]

Marriage should be a ways off in your future, but for the meantime you should be praying that God brings you the right person. You should be praying for God to show you if this guy is the one. You should also keep your relationship pure by not engaging in "makeout sessions" or whatever else.

like i have said in other threads in this section id like to recommend that your read, I kiss dating goodbye and boy meets girl both by joshua harris.

Dont feel like you have to rush into anything, enjoy being young, you have a lot of time before marriage.

 

[serendipity79]

You should pray to God and read the bible. Corinthians and romans has somegood passages about love. God will guide you. thumb your way through other passages as well.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

How I knew is I didn't have to ask the question.

 

[SlowRoasted]

wow did you even ask God if that person was right?

 

[moemily1826]

when your with that person i think God will show you wether he is the one for you. i was in the same situation when i started dating my boyfriend. i wasnt sure i prayed about it alot and i put everything befroe God knowing he will work and show me the way and wether this was real or not, one nit i even prayed to God that if this wasnt ment to be than i would like him to end it now before we were too serious(this was about 6 months into the relationship) the Lord has not ended our relationship hes helped us get through it and brought us closer as one through him adn i dont mean that in any sexually context, i think that if you pray and if you have faith and you put it before God then he will show you wether or not he is the one for you or not. you just reallyhave to let God work and take things at his speed and just pray and have faith its worked for me and thats the advise i can give you i hope it helped

 

[KeV_Of_COR]

Oh please....u r just 15....know more of other pple and then decide....a humanbeings personality and charachter only matures when he/she is 20+,plus when u go on to Uni and working life,things will change again,there is MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE time for u to decide....

One way to know....if the relationship is tough...and God dun really answer u abt it....maybe it might not be the rite perosn....

i am sorry if i am crude on that....

 

[SlowRoasted]

nah thats not crud, she shouldnt be looking for marriage this early.

 

[HeatherJay]

I'm 27 now, but I still remember being in Sunday School when I was 12 years old...my teacher (an older lady who I loved very much) told us that we shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to pray for God to send us the right person...basically pray for God to introduce us to the right man and let us know when we had met him. I was 12 and pretty boy-crazy anyway, so I prayed that prayer all the time...seemed like years that I prayed that prayer. Not that I was in a big hurry to get involved with anyone, but all little girls dream about meeting the perfect man someday...that's what I was praying for.

Well, years passed and I forgot about that particular prayer and I drifted away from church...went to college...dated boys. I was with one boy for about a year and the relationship ended pretty bitterly. My friends all knew "the perfect guy for me." I lived in a house with 4 or 5 roommates (guys and girls)...they were all trying to set me up with friends of theirs, blah blah blah. And one night, out of the blue, Mark walked in...just to hang out with one of my roommates, I'd never met him before. We talked and chit chatted for about half an hour and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I had this thought...like a voice in my head. I thought "This is the man I'm going to marry." I literally laughed out loud at it. I mean, I had just ended a long term relationship...I didn't want another boyfriend...Mark hadn't mentioned ANYTHING about even asking me out, I didn't even know if he LIKED me. I mean, the thought was just ABSURD...not at all something that I would ever have thought about. And it wasn't love at first sight or anything like that...but I KNEW that I was going to marry him. Of course I didn't say anything out loud about it, but the next day he DID call and ask me to go out...and here we are, 6 years later, married with 2 kids.

Now, I didn't go through our whole relationship concentrating on that one little thought...but I felt a connection with Mark from the very beginning. He is everything that I prayed for when I was a little girl. And, no, our relationship hasn't been perfect...far from it. But we've made it. I know that God answered my prayers.

I personally think 14 is too young to already have a serious boyfriend. I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 16. But, I don't think that it's too young to talk to God and ask Him to bring you to that perfect man. It's funny that when I had forgotten that prayer I'd prayed that God remembered it...and answered it.

Reading back over this, it sounds like I'm some sappy, romantic type...believe me when I said that I would NEVER have had that thought about Mark being the man I would marry. That was God's voice.

Love, Heather - making my sweet hubby some cookies

 

[the Christian Apologetic]

Wow, I was just asking myself the same question. Glad to know I'm not the only one. It's kinda unfair that God stopped doing the writing on the wall thing . . . I could use that right about now. Oh wait, I just had a funny thought . . . wonder if he's thinking the same thing? It could happen! So, does anyone have any advice for Beech and I? Oh, and I'm seventeen, he's eighteen. And we both think that getting married during/before college is a stupid idea, so we're in agreement on that! Anyway, any advice would be welcome. Thanks,

The Christian Apologetic

 

[rachetman]

I know that I have been looking for a soulmate all my life. I never really understood or did much of the dating thing. I can really relate to the feelings of just wanting to be with one person for a long time, rather than having many short, broken-up relationships. I am not saying don't date, because in dating, you can find out more about yourself such as expectations, interests, morals, and where you want to go in life. Marriage is a life-binding commitment, something God looks very lovingly on. You have to make sure that you enter such a commitment with full faith and the right reasons. My mother told me, "If it will be, it will be." That is the same message I give you, and God will make it good. When all is right, you will just have this feeling inside of knowing. I don't believe you are too young to think about what you want in a guy to be your husband. To say that one guy is THE ONE at this time may be to early. I know there are many things I have gone through before I could get to where I am, and the people that were involved in my life a few years ago are not necessarily the same that are involved now. This is just one thing that can be left to the stars. When you look too hard, you may never find it, but when you stop and let things run course, you are open to let God show you all that is good.

 

[the Christian Apologetic]

Yeah, I noticed that no one's been answering this lately, so I thought I'd bring it up again. I'd forgotten that I posted this. But, I've decided that all i have to do now, is get through a day at a time, and leave the rest to God.

 

[LadyBird]

You just know! There's not a specific event...just happens over time.

 

[Katty]

Oh please....u r just 15....know more of other pple and then decide....a humanbeings personality and charachter only matures when he/she is 20+,plus when u go on to Uni and working life,things will change again,there is MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE time for u to decide....

One way to know....if the relationship is tough...and God dun really answer u abt it....maybe it might not be the rite perosn....

i am sorry if i am crude on that....

I don't think thats fair for you to say that. To me, its an encouragement that someone still asks this question at least. The fact that its possible to be praying for a partner so early on in life is awesome.

My standpoint, with some additional insight, is that I agree with Mr. Cheese. Once you don't question "Is he the right one?" I believe that God places the calmness in your life and your heart for a relationship that will last and glorify God. As for love (which most definetely goes hand in hand with marriage and "forever-ness") once you're no longer scared or afraid of loving someone, I believe thats the truth of it.

~Katty~

 

[joelbarrutia]

ahh, 15 the good old days

The girl I am in love with first decided she wanted to marry me when she was 15, I was 16. I did not like her like that at all, she asked me out a few times and I turned her down, but sense then we have become BEST friends, and now we both (although we dont go rigth out and say it) really want to get married, and we both love each other a lot!

so my tip for you, is not to "date" guys to find the right one, become best friends with a guy you like, and if your friendship can survive hard times (ours sure has) then it might be the right thing.

 

[Quayla349]

You'll just know. Even though you are young, its not too early to know. Mary was of young age when she married Joseph. Just because you are young doesn't mean its impossible to know. Don't let anyone despise your youth. As you find yourself seeking God and trusting Him to lead and guide your relationship instead of seeking for that guy wondering on your own terms if he is the ''one'' or not then he probably shouldn't be the guy to be with. Continue to seek God and the time will come where you'll know 100%. Ask yourself these questions... Is he living and serving Christ the way that he should? Are we respecting one another in our relationship as a child of God? Am I seeking God first in our relationship? Am I looking for our relationship to be placed first instead of our relationship with Christ? Are we having a holy and sanctified relationship?

 

[Monaleezza]

Oh please....u r just 15....know more of other pple and then decide....

I don't think that's the best advice to give a young person. I'd not want my son/daughter thinking they should go through the motions dating countless others before deciding to settle down.

Sure in hindsight I can say, "thank God I didn't proceed with my teen relationships" they weren't worth the paper they weren't written on.

But if you aren't sure if this person is the one, put some distance between you, see/speak less often, see how you feel then. Keep the relationship platonic, build a friendship that is unmatched by your other friendships but doesn't conflict with your "friendship" and does not push the boundaries into being boyfriend/girlfriend.

In the meantime I'd advise that you pray about it. Even at 15/16/17/18 God can reveal to you what His will for you is. It may be he/she IS the one but you're not ready. Maybe you feel you are, if so, take it slow, if he/she IS the one what's the rush??

 

[Vasichko]

I'm 27 now, but I still remember being in Sunday School when I was 12 years old...my teacher (an older lady who I loved very much) told us that we shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to pray for God to send us the right person...basically pray for God to introduce us to the right man and let us know when we had met him. I was 12 and pretty boy-crazy anyway, so I prayed that prayer all the time...seemed like years that I prayed that prayer. Not that I was in a big hurry to get involved with anyone, but all little girls dream about meeting the perfect man someday...that's what I was praying for.

Well, years passed and I forgot about that particular prayer and I drifted away from church...went to college...dated boys. I was with one boy for about a year and the relationship ended pretty bitterly. My friends all knew "the perfect guy for me." I lived in a house with 4 or 5 roommates (guys and girls)...they were all trying to set me up with friends of theirs, blah blah blah. And one night, out of the blue, Mark walked in...just to hang out with one of my roommates, I'd never met him before. We talked and chit chatted for about half an hour and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I had this thought...like a voice in my head. I thought "This is the man I'm going to marry." I literally laughed out loud at it. I mean, I had just ended a long term relationship...I didn't want another boyfriend...Mark hadn't mentioned ANYTHING about even asking me out, I didn't even know if he LIKED me. I mean, the thought was just ABSURD...not at all something that I would ever have thought about. And it wasn't love at first sight or anything like that...but I KNEW that I was going to marry him. Of course I didn't say anything out loud about it, but the next day he DID call and ask me to go out...and here we are, 6 years later, married with 2 kids.

Now, I didn't go through our whole relationship concentrating on that one little thought...but I felt a connection with Mark from the very beginning. He is everything that I prayed for when I was a little girl. And, no, our relationship hasn't been perfect...far from it. But we've made it. I know that God answered my prayers.

I personally think 14 is too young to already have a serious boyfriend. I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 16. But, I don't think that it's too young to talk to God and ask Him to bring you to that perfect man. It's funny that when I had forgotten that prayer I'd prayed that God remembered it...and answered it.

Reading back over this, it sounds like I'm some sappy, romantic type...believe me when I said that I would NEVER have had that thought about Mark being the man I would marry. That was God's voice.

Love, Heather - making my sweet hubby some cookies

That is very deep and awsome. I am glad you found that one person. I think I have found her, but we are split up. This was her first long-term relationship and we have had our moments of trouble, but I think she may be wondering if she could spend the rest of her life with me. I know I could.