How do I know I believe?

Carl Emerson said:

Wrong sorry - you totally misjudge my relationship with My Father.

Looking at your own works does not bring the confidence I speak of.

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Seeing Him work in, through and with you is the key.

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Carl Emerson said:

Being born again is a miracle He performs in us.

He rescued me as a prodigal from a shipwrecked life, my mind was damaged by ECT and drugs, I couldn't concentrate to work, He restored me over 7 years with much prayer, deliverance and ministry. My last job before retirement was in the Space industry.

Being guided to a friend right when she was dying and seeing her healed in about two minutes as I prayed is something I have seen Him do (she is still alive after 40 years).

Seeing a member healed of cancer on this forum is something I have seen Him do.

Removing cancer from a thyroid and having the medics apologise for operating is something I have seen Him do and the medical notes are public..

Being led to pray for a Mountie from the RCMP drug squad in a park and seeing him trying his new walk after being shot in the legs 11 years earlier is something I have seen Him do.

I can talk about Him...

I am too old to worry much about what folks think about me any more, I am here to encourage others to walk in the Way rather than endlessly studying the map.

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Carl Emerson said:

There is a lot more to it than that...

I knew God was real by the age of 3 or 4.

Jesus met me in a vision when I was 8 and said that there was nothing in this life I would do that He would not see. (I had not been a 'good boy')

At 13 I knew my time for full commitment had come, so instead of going forward at a meeting I went for a walk up the side of Lake Wanaka exactly here in this picture.

View attachment 359104

A friend of member in the US took this shot of exactly where I was born again and superimposed the 'door of invitation' on it - sent it to me not knowing my story or where, for me, it all happened. This was recently, and it blew me away that God arranged such a coincidence to bless me.

So I lay down alone prostrate on the gravel shore with the sense that the time for real business with God had come, and prayed as follow's...

Lord Jesus - I know that I have always been yours - but the time has come for me to fully surrender to you. I repent of my sins, invite you to take control of my life, sorry I have made a mess of it. Right then I heard footsteps coming towards me on the gravel shore - but when I looked up there was no one there - but He has been with me ever since.

Both my mother and my grandmother were saints with a strong prayer life and I believe their prayer for me was a major contributor to my rebirth.

I must stress that encounters with God can vary a lot, but I am so blessed by being gifted with this picture of where it all happened for me, that it seems right to share it.

However continuing the story - even after such an encounter, my lack of confidence and tendency to doubt remained. This was the same for the disciples who walked with Jesus and needed help with unbelief.

Jesus didn't rebuke them for asking for help with unbelief and as I have pointed out, this invitation to have assurance of salvation occurs more than once in Scripture.

Of course we have His Word of promise concerning salvation in Scripture but we are also invited to be convinced when doubt presents by seeing evidence of Him in our lives.

You see my beginnings were followed by serious personal doubt as God allowed my life of faith to slip away - a marriage for 7 years that was not consummated, deep lack of self identity that led to substance abuse, being incarcerated and harmed with ECT and chlorpromazine - Yet through it all without Him I would never have survived and some of my friends didn't.

There was this still small voice indestructible within me that whispered - return to your Christian faith.

So I took off up country in order to do just this - and it was on the wharf at Collingwood looking at the sea when it was like I was picked up in His hands, given a shake and with the firm Word to 'stay on the rails, immerse yourself in Scripture to rebuild your world view.' I was graciously given a prodigals second chance.

This was the beginning of seven years of restoration, as I have mentioned, to the point where I was feeling whole and strong again.

I was to receive prayer from the Order of St. Luke in Christchurch every week for a year until the pain in my wounded spirit was healed.

He had shown me that to accelerate my journey out I was to seek as much prayer as possible.

So it is not surprising that my theology is 'Grace only' - how can I attribute anything to myself.

Along the way I started to pray for a few people in obedience to Scripture and He showed up, folks were healed.

I ended up partnering in ministry with Neville Logan, we ran an Open House and a 24 hour drop in centre for 'street folk' in central Christchurch while being a member of the Spreydon Baptist Church under Rev. Murray Robinson.

Many outstanding miracles took place as we shared Jesus there...

That will do for now - I might mention that He had me be in formation for 40 years and unable to get my testimony out there and share my story until now.

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