how do I grieve properly?

[LoyalToGod]

Hello. This is my first thread in this section ever. I had a crush on this man (who turned out to be 42 years old AND married) who rode a red Honda CBR 600. Earlier this year, however (in July, to be exact), he got into an accident and died after he was admitted into a hospital. I started to realize that he wasn't meant for me (like I said, he was 22 years my senior and married). However, I can't get over his death. What should I do? I'm sorry if I didn't post this earlier. Thank you in advance for your replies.

 

[Alienated]

Hello
I read some your posts in other forums, and I know how you feel. As far as it goes with grieving, it's different for everybody. It can be a real emotional rollercoster ride sometimes, and other times you feel nothing. My situation a bit different, but loss is loss. My whole family has pasted away one at time, unfortunatly in horrible ways. My point is, if you didn't feel anything, you wouldn't be human.
I'm sorry you have been bullied by others in other forums, but there's a scripture that might help you.
Jude 1:10 Yet these men speak abusively against whatever they do not understand; and what things they do understand by instinct, like unreasoning animals--these are the very things that destroy them. Theres also 2 Peter 2:12. And there are wolves in sheeps clothing, you got to look out for.

Bullies are cowards, they only feel important because they can make others feel worse than they know they really are. Please don't ever think God is responsible for cruelity, that's a bad pit to fall in. Because God can't even help you then, I've been there. There a time for crying and a time for rejoicing. Now you can cry.

I have actually hanging out in Apathy in the Church. Because you are not the only one bullied, as my handle reflects. I know I'm a old man, but it means I have been through more, and understand where you are coming from. But you will come out stronger if you give God a chance to heal you, HE WILL. Just don't give up hope. Blessed are those who grieve, for they shall be comforted. So I hope that helped.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Hello
I read some your posts in other forums, and I know how you feel. As far as it goes with grieving, it's different for everybody. It can be a real emotional rollercoster ride sometimes, and other times you feel nothing. My situation a bit different, but loss is loss. My whole family has pasted away one at time, unfortunatly in horrible ways. My point is, if you didn't feel anything, you wouldn't be human.
I'm sorry you have been bullied by others in other forums, but there's a scripture that might help you.
Jude 1:10 Yet these men speak abusively against whatever they do not understand; and what things they do understand by instinct, like unreasoning animals--these are the very things that destroy them. Theres also 2 Peter 2:12. And there are wolves in sheeps clothing, you got to look out for.

Bullies are cowards, they only feel important because they can make others feel worse than they know they really are. Please don't ever think God is responsible for cruelity, that's a bad pit to fall in. Because God can't even help you then, I've been there. There a time for crying and a time for rejoicing. Now you can cry.

I have actually hanging out in Apathy in the Church. Because you are not the only one bullied, as my handle reflects. I know I'm a old man, but it means I have been through more, and understand where you are coming from. But you will come out stronger if you give God a chance to heal you, HE WILL. Just don't give up hope. Blessed are those who grieve, for they shall be comforted. So I hope that helped.

thank you very much. It brings me great comfort to know that someone actually understands me.

 

[Spunkn]

Hello. This is my first thread in this section ever. I had a crush on this man (who turned out to be 42 years old AND married) who rode a red Honda CBR 600. Earlier this year, however (in July, to be exact), he got into an accident and died after he was admitted into a hospital. I started to realize that he wasn't meant for me (like I said, he was 22 years my senior and married). However, I can't get over his death. What should I do? I'm sorry if I didn't post this earlier. Thank you in advance for your replies.

This sounds like you are longing for affection in your own life. It doesn't seem to me (correct me please if I'm wrong) that you knew this man very well. You had a crush on him and he seemed to be someone who you thought about (in your mind) that you could have a relationship with. When he was taken away, it's as if your chance for having someone to be in a relationship is gone.

I can relate to that in a little bit. I'm 29, never actually been on a date with anyone if you can believe that. Was really good friends with a girl at a Bible College when I was helping there during the summer. I thought things were going to go a step futher until one day she just turned cold towards me. I'm still not 100% sure why to this very day. It's taken me two years to get over the pain of that one. I thought, finally, here's my chance to finally have someone. And then it was gone. Just like that.

But I think God knows that He has a better plan for us. We may think someone is perfect for us, but in reality what we think is probably not what is best. God has someone special in mind. And maybe we're not in a healthy place to be ready to meet that person yet. Perhaps we still have more growing to do before we are ready to be in that kind of relationship. It's very hard to be patient though. I struggle with being single every day.

I hope this is relevant to you. If not, I apologize.

 

[LoyalToGod]

This sounds like you are longing for affection in your own life. It doesn't seem to me (correct me please if I'm wrong) that you knew this man very well. You had a crush on him and he seemed to be someone who you thought about (in your mind) that you could have a relationship with. When he was taken away, it's as if your chance for having someone to be in a relationship is gone.

I can relate to that in a little bit. I'm 29, never actually been on a date with anyone if you can believe that. Was really good friends with a girl at a Bible College when I was helping there during the summer. I thought things were going to go a step futher until one day she just turned cold towards me. I'm still not 100% sure why to this very day. It's taken me two years to get over the pain of that one. I thought, finally, here's my chance to finally have someone. And then it was gone. Just like that.

But I think God knows that He has a better plan for us. We may think someone is perfect for us, but in reality what we think is probably not what is best. God has someone special in mind. And maybe we're not in a healthy place to be ready to meet that person yet. Perhaps we still have more growing to do before we are ready to be in that kind of relationship. It's very hard to be patient though. I struggle with being single every day.

I hope this is relevant to you. If not, I apologize.

it's exactly what I was thinking. We are on the same wavelength mentally. Thank you for your reply!

 

[SMacGregor]

Whether the departure of a loved one is sudden, or has been anticipated over a period of time, we experience a powerful and complex range of emotions of grief – including disbelief, shock, anger, hatred, guilt, loss of faith, fear of the future, loneliness, regret. Going through this is a normal part of the grieving process and is necessary to reconcile ourselves in some way so that we can move on from the experience to become a better, stronger person with a greater sense of purpose in life as a result.