How do I go about doing this?

[blueSKYpilot]

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[MagicStar723]

I agree with Blue. Maybe invite her to hang out with you and some friends? That way you can develop the friendship in a group and go from there.

 

[blueSKYpilot]

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[lucille]

courting needs more than a hi and looks. Friendship is most important.

sit with her at lunch or something.

 

[blueSKYpilot]

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[SirKenin]

hrmm. I think this idea of "dating" vs. "courting" is nothing but a big farce, personally, and I think you are getting hung up on it.

I think the first thing you could do is stop her and do some basic flirting. Nothing fancy. Forget the tacky stuff. Flicking "I like you" at her as she walks by is something that might work in grade school, but I can't think of a woman worth her salt that is going to dig that approach in a highschool or anywhere else for that matter. Besides, the flirting process can be fun.

Flirt. That always works for me. Be prince charming, but be yourself. When you see her in the hall ask her why she is so pretty today. On different occasions compliment her on different things. Don't be a dork about it, of course. There are all kinds of good lines you can use. Flattery always works (but only be honest and natural. If it's a strain for you, don't bother. They'll see right through you unless they're dense). Oh man, there's so many things you can do. I'm a natural at flirting, or so I am told, but I don't want to give away all my secrets. lol

Once you have flirted for a while, try and strike up a basic conversation with her. Don't rush it though. Don't go from "My you look even prettier than the last time I saw you" to "would you court me" *gag* to "will you marry me?". haha. That would go over like a pork chop at a Jewish wedding. You have to take these things slow and look for signs that she is reciprocating.

Actually in my experience if you are friendly, charming, sincere and emit a positive aura they come to you. It's great. My last three girlfriends have asked ME out, as opposed to the other way around. I firmly believe that it's all in the way you present yourself.

 

[lucille]

tacky and sly don't really sit well. Saying 'u r cute' may come across as something you don't want. A girl wants to know that the guy values her for her and not by the way she looks, although a little bit later flatter her with complements like that, but not to start.

flirting is good, and fun. It will also build your confidence up when she responds. Choose your timing carefully though.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Just do it. When confronted with the female persuasion, sometimes all you can hope for is to speak coherently. If you can do that then no problem. Just start talking to her.

 

[EmSchmem]

I personally think you should leave her alone. "fox" or not she is a freshman in high school and has a LOT of time left before she can even think at all about getting serious with someone. Not to mention her "foxiness" is what is calling out to you. That has nothing to do with who she really is.

 

[theesh]

Freindship first. I'll give you a little story..... My parents never dated. They were freinds and just decided to get married. They didn't want to be without eachother. That is kind of what I am doing now with a wonderful girl... thats besides the point... I know it is rough, but just ask her to hang out with some freinds.... don't go it alone.

But I have to agree with EmSchmem. You both have a lot of time before you have to grow up.(so do i ) Theres also a big maturity difference between a freshman and a senior in HS. That one of the reasons I will NEVER date. dating puts all types of pressure on you thats not needed. I will get to know someone really well and take it from there.

 

[SirKenin]

I personally think you should leave her alone. "fox" or not she is a freshman in high school and has a LOT of time left before she can even think at all about getting serious with someone. Not to mention her "foxiness" is what is calling out to you. That has nothing to do with who she really is.

Ummm... I have to disagree with you wholeheartedly on the fox part. If you understood anything about the human mating ritual and our carnal instincts, it is very much the physical appearance (everything from the eye color to the shape of the hips) upon which we base our first impressions and what gives us the desire to mate with that person. It is a carnal instinct that is bred into us to ensure that our species procreates. There are plenty of scientific studies to back this up and you can even catch that episode on the Discovery Channel from time to time.

There is nothing preventing anyone from dating in the first years of high school, or even sooner. That is entirely normal. It depends on the individual when they feel they are ready to date.

Dating is a perfectly normal and very healthy experience. It is a period when we get to know the idiosyncracies of our prospective partners before we decide that this is a person we would consider for marriage and procreating with. This step should NEVER be skipped. As far as courting? Well, if that means an engagement period, fine. Otherwise it's just a play on words.

 

[California Dreamin']

If a guy asked me to prom... I would go for it. Prom is awesome. I want to go again this year LOL

 

[California Dreamin']

Once you turn 18, and the other half of the relationship is under 18, that can pose problems...

 

[SirKenin]

Once you turn 18, and the other half of the relationship is under 18, that can pose problems...

No it doesn't. The legal age is 14. In some places it is 16, and that's for sex. I dated a 15 year old when I was almost 18. I now date a 22 year old and I am 34 and not only do we get along extremely well, but we are very much in love. It all depends on the headspace of the individuals involved as there are no laws to interfere.

 

[InTheFlame]

BlueSky... do you and your mates ever do any socialising with girls together? Like going bowling in a group, movies, dinner? Youth group? Anything you can invite her (with or without her friends) along to, and maybe get to know each other a bit better - without any pressure? Worst case scenario, you could start going to her church

 

[InTheFlame]

Ummm... I have to disagree with you wholeheartedly on the fox part. If you understood anything about the human mating ritual and our carnal instincts, it is very much the physical appearance (everything from the eye color to the shape of the hips) upon which we base our first impressions and what gives us the desire to mate with that person. It is a carnal instinct that is bred into us to ensure that our species procreates. There are plenty of scientific studies to back this up and you can even catch that episode on the Discovery Channel from time to time.

As a rationale for a quick infatuation and a few weeks of sex, that's great... but physical appearance seems to be a pretty bad way to pick a life partner. Certainly not my cuppa tea! All the gorgeous guys I've known I may've found attractive on a physical level, but they would've been majorly painful to live with.

 

[SirKenin]

I think canadiancarebear is correct actually.. the maturity level between an 18 year old and, say., a 14 year old is a much larger gap in maturity than the gap between a 34 year old and a 22 year old..

How so? Who cares if they are both adults or not? The truth of the matter is that there is a significant gap between the latter, far more so than the former. It doesn't matter that a 14 year old is still a kid. I agree with that last point. However, the maturity level between a 14 year old female (women generally mature faster than men) and an 18 year old male actually isn't that far off. Much closer than my girlfriend and I, technically. Although, truth be told, my girlfriend is far more advanced in maturity and wisdom for her age than any other girl I know. It's fascinating talking to her about psychology.

 

[SirKenin]

As a rationale for a quick infatuation and a few weeks of sex, that's great... but physical appearance seems to be a pretty bad way to pick a life partner. Certainly not my cuppa tea! All the gorgeous guys I've known I may've found attractive on a physical level, but they would've been majorly painful to live with.

Perhaps, but physical attraction is what forms the first impression and the desire to make the initial contact. The rest comes from dating. Besides, the men that you find attractive the next woman might look at as dogs. That's how science works.

 

[InTheFlame]

Perhaps, but physical attraction is what forms the first impression and the desire to make the initial contact. The rest comes from dating. Besides, the men that you find attractive the next woman might look at as dogs. That's how science works.

Hmmm... this is assuming a scenario where people don't form friendships - or group acquaintances, for that matter. Friendships are commonly built on similarities that go deeper than appearances, and group acquaintances put people into our spheres that aren't necessarily our physical 'type' ... but who may grow on us during conversation, shared activities, etc.