How did you know God wanted marriage for you and not singleness??

[CounselorForChrist]

If it makes you feel any better as a geek and gamer (well relatively exgamer) I have really white skin. It did make me more obvious in the philippines though lol.

Yep thats pretty much what I did. Even when the girls used me I would cry in bed thinking I would not meet anyone as nice again. I swore it wouldn't happen. But each time it did and each time they were better to some degree. Things will get better and trust me one the right one for you comes along you will notice the difference between what better and best is.

My wife is perfect for me and every way. Its like God knew me better then I knew myself. I can honestly say that being with my wife is really hard to explain how it felt when I met her. SO often we say "I know this is the one, I just know!". I did that myself. But with my wife, it was far beyond just knowing. So its impossible to put into words. SO when yours comes along you won't be able to explain it in words either.

Also your still young. I am a 31 year old fart. At 25 is when we tend to really know what we want in life. And around 30 is when things just seem good and right. So for now keep your focus on God and day to day life and you will meet someone at Gods time.

 

[CC268]

Well thanks for your insight and help, its been nice. I just have to do my best to keep moving forward, even though its tough right now. I can't say that I have ever been so hurt...right now it seems so hopeless I guess

 

[mina]

I never felt any particular drawing towards being single for the rest of my life. Life just made more sense to me being shared with a spouse than totally on my own forever. I also want to be a mother. I think very few people have a true calling to be celibate and single for their whole life. Even when I was my single-est as a singleton things just didn't feel quite right. I was content with myself , content with who I was in Christ, I had a lot of worldly success as well but I still wanted to share my life with another human. I think that they are a lot of misconceptions about singles and being single and a lot of bad damaging teachings by the church and other Christians. The single life when you don't feel called to be single forever can be frustrating. Even though I don't know why I was single for so long; I am glad that I've seen that side of life. I think it only adds to my marriage now and makes me a more compassionate and supportive person towards my single friends.

 

[Johnnz]

I never felt any particular drawing towards being single for the rest of my life. Life just made more sense to me being shared with a spouse than totally on my own forever. I also want to be a mother. I think very few people have a true calling to be celibate and single for their whole life. Even when I was my single-est as a singleton things just didn't feel quite right. I was content with myself , content with who I was in Christ, I had a lot of worldly success as well but I still wanted to share my life with another human. I think that they are a lot of misconceptions about singles and being single and a lot of bad damaging teachings by the church and other Christians. The single life when you don't feel called to be single forever can be frustrating. Even though I don't know why I was single for so long; I am glad that I've seen that side of life. I think it only adds to my marriage now and makes me a more compassionate and supportive person towards my single friends.

That is a great post. Singleness is an exception and calling, not a default due to lack of opportunity, when it can be quite hard at times when part of you really desires a relationship.

John
NZ

 

[CC268]

That is a great post. Singleness is an exception and calling, not a default due to lack of opportunity, when it can be quite hard at times when part of you really desires a relationship.

John
NZ

I really like what you said...my dad always told me there will be plenty of opportunities...I just can't help but have doubt in my mind sometimes

 

[Johnnz]

I really like what you said...my dad always told me there will be plenty of opportunities...I just can't help but have doubt in my mind sometimes

I reckon most of us have at some time. But we did get married nevertheless.

John
NZ

 

[CC268]

I reckon most of us have at some time. But we did get married nevertheless.

John
NZ

Yea, I guess its just having some faith and trust

 

[mina]

I think doubt is normal; and it's easier than not to get bogged down with it. Goodness, when I was single I had people on all sides telling me I was single because I was displeasing to God, not obedient to Him, not pretty enough, etc... I felt like something was majorly wrong with me. I didn't want a desperate relationship just to have a relationship; I wanted to meet a good match for the right reasons. I think that God does let believers know which way He is leading them and it's good to remember that singleness right now (for lack of a good match or whatever) doesn't translate to you displease God so much and are destined to be single forever. And I think the best thing you can do if you desire to be married is to pray about it- becoming the person you need to be for your spouse, for them , and for you to both recognize each other when it gets to that point.

 

[Johnnz]

Also, get out and about where you will meet good people.

John
NZ

 

[mina]

^yep that too!

 

[CC268]

Thanks for all the advice, its been good to hear. I will continue to pray. I have been in one relationship after the other and I think I need some time to heal.

 

[christsoccer]

This thread gave me the faintest glimmer of hope of one day being married.
Thanks

 

[Purge187]

However might and may need to get married doesn't really help much. How do I know for sure?

We don't, and that's the problem for me and countless others.

I was feeling a little depressed about my singleness a few weeks ago and called a prayer line for support. What I got was a lady who said that she could empathize because she's been waiting for thirty years for a mate. I somehow laughed it off at the time, but I'm not laughing about it now.

Dating seems to be an easy prospect for most other people, including people who, unlike us, wouldn't give God a second's thought. Eternal bachelorhood doesn't sound fun.

 

[hawkeyelovejs]

I love everything about this post -- thanks so much!! I'm printing it for times that I feel discouraged.

If you want sex, get married.

The odds of you being created to be celibate are pretty darn small, very few people have that gift. Is your question really wondering if you are called to a life of singleness? Because if you have a desire for marriage and sex, then you are called to marriage at some point in your life.

At which point, it's just working in Gods timing, and not yours. If you want it, you are called to it, and enjoy your single years secure in the knowledge that some day it will happen. Just focus on making yourself the type of person that the type of person you are looking for is looking for, and rock on.

(Speaking for myself, I wanted marriage badly, but once I was going on 26, and my prospects were dwindling...I basically said "OK God, I really want this, but if you want me to remain single, I'll remain single". Totally gave up marriage in my heart.
I was courting someone within a couple months of that, and am engaged a year later. Totally a God thing, and well...HIS timing, not mine!

 

[ProudMomxmany]

Would appreciate some insight into this. Thanks.

I have no idea! I met my husband when I was 14, we started dating when I was 15 and we married when I was 17. I'm guessing that this was God's will for both of us...but after almost 32 years of marriage...I may be wrong!

 

[Purge187]

To add to my previous post, that whole prayer session was the proverbial last straw for me, and I've decided to do the whole MGTOW thing.

I'm with Gillis Triplett when he says that God doesn't push us towards singleness or marriage and that it's a choice on our part, but if it's gonna take that long, and if the our divrce courts have been as tainted by modern-day Feminism as some have told me, then it's better to "go Paul", IMO.