How did you know God wanted marriage for you and not singleness??

[proverbswisdom]

Would appreciate some insight into this. Thanks.

 

[Darkhorse]

Before I met my wife, I had always felt incomplete somehow. Sounds corny, but it's true. The idea of living alone always seemed like an empty existance, and I'm not a gregarious person who has to be around others all the time. I'm quite comfortable being alone (and often prefer it), but something (someone) was always missing.

Of course, bells didn't ring and lights didn't flash when I met my wife; I had had several relationships of various depths before her, but ultimately, I was seeking a life-partner. It didn't take me long to realize that she had real potential.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
1 Corinthians 7:9

If I didn't have a sex drive I wouldn't have married.

 

[LinkH]

Great question,

If it is a struggle for you to keep your eyes to yourself when beautiful, scantily clothed women are around, you might need to get married. If it is a struggle for you not to think about sex, you might need to get married.

If you go to the mall, and see couples walking around holding hands, and you feel sad and lonely, wondering what it would be like if you had someone like that to love you and to love and share your life with, you might need to get married. If you can't stand the thought of never having children, you may need to get married.

 

[proverbswisdom]

Great question,

If it is a struggle for you to keep your eyes to yourself when beautiful, scantily clothed women are around, you might need to get married. If it is a struggle for you not to think about sex, you might need to get married.

If you go to the mall, and see couples walking around holding hands, and you feel sad and lonely, wondering what it would be like if you had someone like that to love you and to love and share your life with, you might need to get married. If you can't stand the thought of never having children, you may need to get married.

Well all of that is true of me except I'm a woman so scantily clad women do nothing for me lol!

However might and may need to get married doesn't really help much. How do I know for sure?

 

[ferreira]

For me it was simple. Anytime something good or new happened in my life, I wanted to have someone to share it with.


It all boiled down to wanting to share everything in life with that special someone. Always wanting someone there with you no matter what and wanting to be there for that person no matter what.

 

[LinkH]

Well all of that is true of me except I'm a woman so scantily clad women do nothing for me lol!

However might and may need to get married doesn't really help much. How do I know for sure?

Sorry about that. You can just turn it around and apply the same principles toward men. If you find yourself falling into sin, in regard to your eyes and mind, when it comes to sexual issues, you should marry. If you have control over that, and it doesn't bother you, you can be celibate. Neither being celibate or getting married is sinful.

 

[A2597]

Would appreciate some insight into this. Thanks.

If you want sex, get married.

The odds of you being created to be celibate are pretty darn small, very few people have that gift. Is your question really wondering if you are called to a life of singleness? Because if you have a desire for marriage and sex, then you are called to marriage at some point in your life.

At which point, it's just working in Gods timing, and not yours. If you want it, you are called to it, and enjoy your single years secure in the knowledge that some day it will happen. Just focus on making yourself the type of person that the type of person you are looking for is looking for, and rock on.

(Speaking for myself, I wanted marriage badly, but once I was going on 26, and my prospects were dwindling...I basically said "OK God, I really want this, but if you want me to remain single, I'll remain single". Totally gave up marriage in my heart.
I was courting someone within a couple months of that, and am engaged a year later. Totally a God thing, and well...HIS timing, not mine!

 

[Johnnz]

Marriage is a general principle in Scripture. Singleness is the exception. Thus, you need very clear guidance if you are to be single by God's calling on your life. Otherwise, see marriage as normative.

John
NZ

 

[Inkachu]

Because I've always been passionately romantic, even from the time I was a little girl. Always loved romantic stories, books, movies. The thought of NEVER experiencing romance in some deep, profound, life-changing form, would be intolerable to me. Granted, I was single until I was 34, so I had to at least allow for the possibility that God wanted me to be single for a significant portion of my life, but I hoped and prayed that He would have something in store for me, even if I had to wait decades for it. Thankfully, my wait recently ended Patience, obedience, and faith are essential!

 

[gracefulone1980]

When I met my husband, I just knew that he was the man God wanted me to marry. He is my best friend and we were meant for each other. Before my husband I wasn't sure I would ever get married. I had dated, but never had that strong of a pull towards someone. 10+ years later, that pull is still there.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

I don't know how old you are, but I find a lot of Christian women start to say "I think God might have planned for me to stay single for the rest of my life" when their friends all seem to be getting married, and they start to worry that they've passed the average age of getting married. It's almost like a way of explaining why things haven't turned out the way you wanted them to.

I don't know if that's the case for you, and I'm sorry if it isn't. But if it is, and it's deeply on your heart to get married one day, then please don't despair. As others have said, God rarely calls people to celibacy. If you're not married yet, it's because there is more He can do in you and through you while you're still single.

 

[iambren]

If you are deeply convinced that intimacy with God is enough for you then you may be called to celibacy. I also would think this call be joined with a particular call to loving others in a way that is facilitated by being single.

 

[JaneFW]

Would appreciate some insight into this. Thanks.

Despite some teen cynicism caused by my parents awful marriage, I always knew that I would marry and have children. It was a real drive within me for both, and I knew I was not complete without it.

 

[jamrog74]

People should marry because they desire companionship and they have met someone they want to spend their life with. If you have not met that person but you feel the drive to seek that person then perhaps marriage is for you.
You don't marry simply because you don't want to be alone, focus on finding the right person for you first, some people do and some people don't and for those that don't maybe they were mean't to be single is does not mean they can't have happy and fulfilling lives. Don't marry just because of sex, because then you will see you spouse as just a piece of meat. Everyone has needs but you must factor how well you get along as well as your needs.
If you are mean't to be married you will seek and find or someone may find you and you will grow fond of each other and feel strongly about each other. Don't force things if it is mean't to be things will work out.
Hope this helps

 

[CC268]

Sorry to bring up an old thread, but this really helped me. I have been in two relationships since I was 16, one of them lasting two and a half years. I ended up getting really hurt, but these responses give me hope that I will find someone again someday (at least I hope so).

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I really need to write down my thoughts on this so I can copy and paste it into these topics lol. But yes even though its an old thread its good it helped you. All to often we associate painful relationships with assuming God wants us single. But thats not the case.

 

[CC268]

I really need to write down my thoughts on this so I can copy and paste it into these topics lol. But yes even though its an old thread its good it helped you. All to often we associate painful relationships with assuming God wants us single. But thats not the case.

Yea...lets just say it has been a very rough past month and a half for me. I have had a heck of a time trying to stay positive and get some of the negative thoughts out of my head. Reading things like this thread help me to trust God and have hope that there is something better out there for me. Even if it is false confidence I really miss having that best friend that was there for me at the end of the day and who loved me.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yeah its not easy at all sometimes. At 16 when I had my seizures and brain injury I fell apart thinking things like God didn't want me to find anyone since I was a freak (my words at the time). And I said no one would want me anyways. I spiraled into depression until I met someone online at 22. She was nice and had a baby. But a few months into it she told me she was actually still married to a man whos in the army but is leaving him for another man she met on the street. So she didn't want to be with me.

I was shattered and destroyed. Giving my heart away for the first time hurt me to no end. And yet I still cared for her out of depression because I didn't want her to not love me. Despite the fact she lied to me among other things.

At 27 I met a woman online who was great and also had a child. But I made sure she wasn't married this time lol. I gave her my heart after she came here a few times (she lives in another state). We got engaged and while we were talking about marriage she left me because she was seeing her ex again who she happened to be living with at the time (I didn't know it was her ex). I also lost my virginity to her in a moment of heated kissing. >.<

The biggest hurt was from the fact her daughter who hated men, actually called me daddy and loved me. So again my heart ached. I felt like I lost a child and had no control over that. Not to mention my feeling of God wanting me single was beyond out of contrl. My suicidal phase between all this had gotten worse but went away by the time I met the next woman. TO make it short it ended with her too (cheating) and with the next one.

But I stopped being upset and gave everything to God. I changed my life for the better to focus on God. I apologized for all my sinning I had done. When I had changed and let him handle everything including my love life, thats when I met my wife at 30. I have been praising God ever since then. Even though shes 8,100 miles away while we work on her visa, she talks to me every day. Our wedding was amazing and the honeymoon bonding. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry when we talk.

And even though missing her is painful, I am happy because unlike in my past, she at the end of the day loves me and is there for me. As I am for her. All the past hurt you have faced will make you stronger in the end. Trust me. You will find someone and when you look back you will say "Wow, I was hurting so much but I can see how God turned the bad pain into good and helped mold me for the person He knew I needed!"

 

[CC268]

Thanks a lot, it is a great thing to hear! I posted a thread on a different part of this site about what I have been going through, but anyways...I am only 19, almost 20, a Junior in college. I know I shouldn't worry but it is my first time being single in a long time (since I was 16). It has just been a bit rough on me lately, and quite lonely at times. I know I am an attractive kid, people tell me all the time and I have been lucky that I have never really had to go after any girls. In fact, every girl I have dated or I have had "flings" with have come to me. I guess my biggest insecurity is I am lighter skinned, and don't tan a whole lot (probably sounds stupid, but its basically my only insecurity). After my break up a month and half ago, a girl I knew from high school started talking to me and I loved that she was a Christian girl and I respected her morals and values. We hung out and talked all the time, things were going great, and then not too long ago she realized she wasn't ready for anything and stopped talking. It killed me, and sometimes I feel like I won't meet someone as good as her. Anyways...that is some insight to what I have been going through, I just hope that I can believe there is someone out there.