How Congress uses its time...

Touma · Mar 20, 2013

Lawmakers offer bill to ban ‘Redskins’ trademark - The Washington Post

A group of U.S. House members has offered a bill that would prohibit the term Redskins from being trademarked, as the debate over the NFL teams name expands from the legal system and the court of public opinion to Capitol Hill.

I am glad that we are tackling such huge issues when unemployment is still above 7%, debt is piling high, people are still losing their homes, etc.

But since they care so much about having unoffensive football team names, I have come up with some other teams that need to change theirs as well.

Steelers: Steel is made of coal. Coal is not environmentally friendly. We need to stop this eco-hate promotion.

Browns: Why must everything be about color? I don't see any teams called Blacks or Whites. This is racist.

Vikings: Scandinavian-Americans should be outraged that their ancestors are being used in such a barbaric sport. Do we want to further the stereotype of the angry Viking?

Cowboys: Well, they killed Indians. We definitely dont want to promote that.

Giants and Titans: Big and Tall people have enough problems in their lives, such as finding appropriate clothing to wear. They dont need more problems by having names tossed around to remind them of their abnormal stature.

Saints: There is no way we should be pushing religion down the throats of football fans!

Ravens, Cardinals, Dolphins, Jaguars, Panthers, Seahawks, Falcons, Bengals, Broncos, Colts, Eagles, Bears, Lions, Rams: Impressionable children watching teams named after animals smashing violently into each other might be tricked into believing animal cruelty is okay.

Jets: Watching the Jet crash all the time is reminiscent of 9/11. Too soon.

Buccaneers: They are pirates. Do we want to teach society that pirating is okay? Come on now!

Raiders: Same with the Raiders. Raiding is not okay. It is socially
unacceptable (as is being a Raiders fan)

Patriots: Not everyone supports the country. Dont force your patriotism down my throat!

Texans: Remember, everything is bigger in Texas. Do we want to promote obesity and excessive-ness?

I guess that leaves us with the Bills, Chargers, and 49ers. That sounds like an exciting league!

MachZer0 · Mar 20, 2013

Congressional Democrats. Gotta love 'em

Drekkan85 · Mar 21, 2013

Can you really not understand why "Redskin" might be considered somethign slightly more offensive than "Texan"? Would it be easier if a team was named the "Washington [N-words]"? Because that's the equivalent example.

None of the others you've used are even remotely similar to "Redskin" in terms of their derogatory nature, racist underpinings, and sheer vileness.

I don't agree with spending time on this kind of thing (though it's better than spending time creating fiscal cliff or debt ceiling false crises) but really - it's manifestly different from your examples.

iluvatar5150 · Mar 21, 2013

Drekkan85 said:
Can you really not understand why "Redskin" might be considered somethign slightly more offensive than "Texan"?

Personally, I think I'd be more offended to be called a Texan, but then, I'm neither.

-Dan.

stamperben · Mar 21, 2013

I'm really surprised that they even got to anything like this seeing as how they really use their time fundraising rather than legislating anything.

This is the model that the new members were given upon their swearing in back in January...

It's a pity that money dominates politics.

Oh, "call time" is the buzz phrase for fund raising btw.

Savior2006 · Mar 21, 2013

iluvatar5150 said:
Personally, I think I'd be more offended to be called a Texan, but then, I'm neither.

-Dan.

Savior2006 · Mar 21, 2013

Drekkan85 said:
Can you really not understand why "Redskin" might be considered somethign slightly more offensive than "Texan"? Would it be easier if a team was named the "Washington [N-words]"? Because that's the equivalent example.

Replace American Indian face logo with redskin potato. Problem solved.

stamperben · Mar 21, 2013

White House petition demands NASCAR-style corporate-sponsor badges for members of the US Congress

'Since most politicians' campaigns are largely funded by wealthy companies and individuals,' the White House petition reads, 'it would give voters a better sense of who the candidate they are voting for is actually representing if the company's logo, or individual's name, was prominently displayed upon the candidate's clothing at all public appearances and campaign events.'

'Once elected, the candidate would be required to continue to wear those "sponsors'" names during all official duties and visits to constituents.'

I like it!

Rion · Mar 21, 2013

Rename them the Hemorrhoids. They do represent D.C. afterall...

Wolseley · Mar 21, 2013

Drekkan85 said:
Can you really not understand why "Redskin" might be considered somethign slightly more offensive than "Texan"? Would it be easier if a team was named the "Washington [N-words]"? Because that's the equivalent example.

None of the others you've used are even remotely similar to "Redskin" in terms of their derogatory nature, racist underpinings, and sheer vileness.

Hmmm......

Let's see---how about "Los Angeles Lesbians" for an all-female football team?

Or, the "Richmond Rednecks"?

Here's a good one: the "Miami Pushers". Or the "Chicago Gangsters".

The Mississippi Supremacists.

The San Francisco Deviants.

The Kentucky Inbred.

The Detroit Illiterate.

There are plenty of others that I can come up with, but they'll get me banned, just as sure as daylight.

Wolseley · Mar 21, 2013

TheYoungTurk said:
Replace American Indian face logo with redskin potato. Problem solved.

Rival teams would end up calling them the Spuds.

Every time they lost a game, the sportscasters would say they got "mashed". Rival coaches would threaten to "french fry" them.

The possibilities are practically endless.

Savior2006 · Mar 21, 2013

Wolseley said:
Rival teams would end up calling them the Spuds.

Every time they lost a game, the sportscasters would say they got "mashed". Rival coaches would threaten to "french fry" them.

The possibilities are practically endless.

And delicious.

MachZer0 · Mar 21, 2013

Drekkan85 said:
Can you really not understand why "Redskin" might be considered somethign slightly more offensive than "Texan"? Would it be easier if a team was named the "Washington [N-words]"? Because that's the equivalent example.

None of the others you've used are even remotely similar to "Redskin" in terms of their derogatory nature, racist underpinings, and sheer vileness.

I don't agree with spending time on this kind of thing (though it's better than spending time creating fiscal cliff or debt ceiling false crises) but really - it's manifestly different from your examples.

Thin skinned people will always be offended by something. Best advice is that people who don't like a team's mascot should not support the team. Problem solved

Adaephon · Mar 21, 2013

Touma said:
Lawmakers offer bill to ban ‘Redskins’ trademark - The Washington Post

I am glad that we are tackling such huge issues when unemployment is still above 7%, debt is piling high, people are still losing their homes, etc.

But since they care so much about having unoffensive football team names, I have come up with some other teams that need to change theirs as well.

Steelers: Steel is made of coal. Coal is not environmentally friendly. We need to stop this eco-hate promotion.

Browns: Why must everything be about color? I don't see any teams called Blacks or Whites. This is racist.

Vikings: Scandinavian-Americans should be outraged that their ancestors are being used in such a barbaric sport. Do we want to further the stereotype of the angry Viking?

Cowboys: Well, they killed Indians. We definitely dont want to promote that.

Giants and Titans: Big and Tall people have enough problems in their lives, such as finding appropriate clothing to wear. They dont need more problems by having names tossed around to remind them of their abnormal stature.

Saints: There is no way we should be pushing religion down the throats of football fans!

Ravens, Cardinals, Dolphins, Jaguars, Panthers, Seahawks, Falcons, Bengals, Broncos, Colts, Eagles, Bears, Lions, Rams: Impressionable children watching teams named after animals smashing violently into each other might be tricked into believing animal cruelty is okay.

Jets: Watching the Jet crash all the time is reminiscent of 9/11. Too soon.

Buccaneers: They are pirates. Do we want to teach society that pirating is okay? Come on now!

Raiders: Same with the Raiders. Raiding is not okay. It is socially
unacceptable (as is being a Raiders fan)

Patriots: Not everyone supports the country. Dont force your patriotism down my throat!

Texans: Remember, everything is bigger in Texas. Do we want to promote obesity and excessive-ness?

I guess that leaves us with the Bills, Chargers, and 49ers. That sounds like an exciting league!

Authorities On Alert As Hundreds Of Crazed Sociopaths Enter Congressional Chambers | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Panzerkamfwagen · Mar 21, 2013

Wolseley said:
H

The Detroit Illiterate.

That sounds like a newspaper, not a football team.

As for Redskins? Meh.

If I believed in evolution, I'd snark about evolving resistance to smallpox next time.

cow451 · Mar 21, 2013

stamperben said:
White House petition demands NASCAR-style corporate-sponsor badges for members of the US Congress

'Since most politicians' campaigns are largely funded by wealthy companies and individuals,' the White House petition reads, 'it would give voters a better sense of who the candidate they are voting for is actually representing if the company's logo, or individual's name, was prominently displayed upon the candidate's clothing at all public appearances and campaign events.'

'Once elected, the candidate would be required to continue to wear those "sponsors'" names during all official duties and visits to constituents.'

I like it!

cow451 · Mar 21, 2013

iluvatar5150 said:
Personally, I think I'd be more offended to be called a Texan, but then, I'm neither.

-Dan.

Why is Congress not up in Second Amendment about the Chiefs? Their name, not their record.

TheOtherHockeyMom · Mar 21, 2013

I think the name is pretty offensive, and am glad to see the action taken, but the comment about the Jets was pretty funny.

Drekkan85 · Mar 21, 2013

It's also worth noting this would not ban the name "Redskin". They would be free to continue using it.

We agree to give trademark protection to businesses that apply for it. However, the granting of this protection is discretionary on the part of the government (under certain guidelines). This would merely add an additional guideline - the term "Redskin" would not be registerable.

The team could continue to use the name, they just wouldn't be able to protect it from use by others.

Furthermore, as stated in the article, there's also a court case. From what the article says (and I make no representations of being an expert is US law) but it appears that slurs are not registerable in the trade-mark office. Hence you could not trade-mark the N-word. Frankly, I don't see why you similarly CAN trade-mark "Redskin". To me they're birds of a feather.

***

ETA: This says it just about perfectly. A Tony Kornheiser article from 21 years ago in the Post:

There’s a glib tendency to trivialize this issue by stretching it absurdly, and suggesting if these names are changed, Animal Rights advocates will demand that names like Dolphins and Tigers be changed, and then religious leaders will demand the varied forms of Devils be changed because they glorify Satanism, and atheists will demand that Padres and Angels be changed, and populists will want Kings and Royals changed, and of course Brewers must go, as it encourages drunk driving, etc.

Oh please.

The issue is whether it’s proper to have a team name that derives solely from skin color.

Savior2006 · Mar 21, 2013

Panzerkampfwagen said:
That sounds like a newspaper, not a football team.

As for Redskins? Meh.

If I believed in evolution, I'd snark about evolving resistance to smallpox next time.

The fraction of survivors probably did.

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