I have realised that I am guilty of unbelief in many areas. particularly Gods love for me. this causes me to be very insecure and seek approval from others.
I walked to the nearby lake near my house, Sat down, and confessed this unbelief. but I was not moved by this confession, and the unbelief continued despite scripture reading and prayer.
I am truly stuck, what does all of this mean?!
Are you sure you are talking about unbelief?
It sounds like you are talking about doubts. There is a difference.
Unbelief results from
rebellion, meaning you choose not to believe something. You do not accept something, and nobody can make you.
Doubt results from a
weakness, the inability to hold on to something. Try as you may, you do not have the strength or ability to believe.
Both of these are easy to remedy.
The strength of all faith lies not in yourself but in the integrity of God and His Word. In other words, let the Word do the believing.
"God make Jesus both Lord and Christ." Acts 2:36
This is scripture. It is truth
regardless of what we do or think. Whether you accept or reject this fact does
not change it. It is still
valid. Just
submit to it. We are all at the
mercy of the truth. You
cannot resist it or change it. Jesus cannot
NOT be Lord and Christ. There is no discussion. He is
not asking you to validate these words as if they need our validation. Essentially, you are saved by
awareness via
revelation. You are saved when you see these words and, knowing they are true, act accordingly. Seeing that He is Lord and Christ, you know He has the authority and power to save you if you call on His name. So just do it and
rest in the fact that He did what He said He would do. Faith is a
rest, not a work.
"Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:11
This is not in question either. It is true if you accept it or deny it. But everyone who does so shall be saved. He said so and He does not lie. He knows what He is talking about. People think that belief is ascending to a place. They think it is a work of their virtue and strength. It is not. It is a submission. It is
surrendering. It is to
stop trying to make something true with some effort of
your heart and mind. It is just
giving up to the Word.
You did not make Jesus Lord, God did. There is nothing you can do to stop it. He is not asking your permission to be Lord and He does not need it. He is
already Lord of all!
"the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him" Romans 10:12
Faith is little more than awareness. It is the mere discovery and realization of a truth. You know the origin of the statement, that He has infinite power and integrity, and that everything is subject to His words. You let Him and His words empower your belief. You have no choice but to believe. There is nothing you can do to stop it. You have faith because He is faithful. It cannot NOT be true.
Just wrap yourself in His Words and let them carry you.
I am saved... there is nothing I can do about it.
You suggest you are failing to believe in God's love for you.
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
There is
no discussion. He
does love us. He said so and
He does not lie. Don't "
try" to believe something as if belief is the result of
your ability to make something true. It is true
regardless of what you do or think or accept.
Just know it is so.
Submit to it.
Surrender to the fact of it. The reality of it.
"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God:" 1 John 3:1
This is truth. There is nothing we can do about it. Not accepting it does not somehow make it false. So just surrender to the reality of it. Give up trying to burn it into you brain. That is not faith. Faith is surrender, not allegiance. It becomes allegiance eventually... but first, it's surrender. Be a slave to His truth.