How can I not?

[Antebellum]

I'll just get to the point:

How can I not feel angry at God for letting my brother molest and rape me?
I can't get it around my head, how He says He will protect me, then as a small child (only 5 or 6 at the time) I was sexually abused. What could I have done to deserve it? I wasn't old enough to comprehend "sin", I couldn't even take care of myself for goodness' sake.

And because of this "event", my mom lost faith in God. How could He let THAT happen? I am trying my hardest to witness to her, not to force it on her, and to just gently nudge her along but nothing I do seems to work. I feel so helpless in my family; my mom and dad aren't Christians, my step-dad isn't, and none of my brothers are. And to think, that if they died tomorrow, they would be sent to Hell, because of what someone did to me.

I can't stand it. I don't see how this is "fair" at all. I love God with all that I am, but this problem is getting in the way. It makes me wonder what kind of God I'm really loving if He can just ruin a family for something that a sick-minded man did to me 10 years ago, and how He can damn them to Hell. I just don't know what to think or do anymore.

 

[Angeldove97]

Without getting into my own background, let me share something with you: God never promised us that He could protect us from our own free will or the fact that other people still want to sin, even if they know how awesome God's love can be. God can help us heal--- and I'm a living testimony to that kind of healing-- but sin will still happen until Jesus comes back and banishes Satan away forever.

I was reading something early this morning about why people suffer and why it seems that Christians often have the hardest time with suffering. It's because Satan doesn't want us to live wonderful and close relationships with God--- he knows that we're weak creatures, prone to sin, and if he can get us to have a few hardships in our lives, more than likely we'll blame God and turn away from Him. Satan know it's very easy to win this game and it breaks God's heart. Satan also knows that his time in pulling our strings is drawing to an end and he probably wants to try to harm as many people as he can before his time is up.

I'm so sorry that your brother did this to you, I'm sorry that this is testing your faith now, and I'm sorry that your Mom lost her faith because of it. But you see, this is exactly how Satan is winning. I know this may not help your pain at this time, but please find a way to hold on to having faith in God. If I had lost my faith during that time, I wouldn't have survived... because of one person's action, I was ripped apart spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

God saved me though and it's been almost 6 years, but I'm healing--- I'm doing great. My faith fell deep, but you know who it was who finally caught me and held me tight? It was God--- He ended up being the only person I could tell, He was the only person who I could ask to heal me. And slowly but surely, with every baby step, I was healed. I'm feeling great now and even when I do fall, He catches me, brushes off my shoulders, and tells me to keep going.

Please remember this: God did not let this happen, when He created us He loved us enough to give us free will--- He wanted us to choose to love Him, not be told that we HAVE to love Him. The person who raped you chose to go against loving his family and God and he hurt you--- but please do not blame God. God is there for love and healing and I'm worried that you won't ever be at peace and you won't ever heal if you don't let your heart become softened up a bit and just let God do His work: LET HIM HEAL YOU. I know that He wants to--- I know His Spirit just wants to fill you up and heal you. Because the same thing happened to me.

Please let Him heal you--- you deserve it and He loves you enough that He never wants you to fret over what happened many years ago. You will be in my prayer, if you need to talk to me privately about what happened, please know my inbox is always open to you.

May the Lord bless you and heal you--- just let Him into your heart. You say you love Him, give Him the time to heal you.

 

[Antebellum]

Thank you for responding to this, it really means a lot to me. I've gone over your post a few times, and I'm going to try and let God heal me. I'm taking a class at my youth group, called "Live the Experience", and I really hope it gets me on track. I'm nervous, because it's going to make me feel uncomfortable and guilty but at this point I'd do whatever it takes to reach God.

Thanks again. <3 You've been so helpful! *hugs back*

 

[Ariel]

That is a good answer, Angeldove, and so true.

God never violates our free will. He will never force someone to serve Him. He also will not keep them from sinning. They can abuse us and hurt us--but this is NOT God's will for us. Jesus said that His will for us is to have life, abundant life, John 10:10. Contrast that to Satan's will for us, who comes to "kill, steal and destroy," John 10:10.

The bible teaches that overwhelmingly we are conquerors. We can overcome, we can have victorious lives anyway. Romans 10:13 says, "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I have found this verse to be true in every area of my life, including in helping me to heal.

Our God is a good God. He loves you with an everlasting love. We are living in a cursed world, full of sin and strife, but we can overcome. Jesus Christ gives us the victory, we have that in Him. Eph. 2:4-9; Romans 8:37.

 

[Antebellum]

That is a good answer, Angeldove, and so true.

God never violates our free will. He will never force someone to serve Him. He also will not keep them from sinning. They can abuse us and hurt us--but this is NOT God's will for us. Jesus said that His will for us is to have life, abundant life, John 10:10. Contrast that to Satan's will for us, who comes to "kill, steal and destroy," John 10:10.

The bible teaches that overwhelmingly we are conquerors. We can overcome, we can have victorious lives anyway. Romans 10:13 says, "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I have found this verse to be true in every area of my life, including in helping me to heal.

Our God is a good God. He loves you with an everlasting love. We are living in a cursed world, full of sin and strife, but we can overcome. Jesus Christ gives us the victory, we have that in Him. Eph. 2:4-9; Romans 8:37.

Thanks for this. <3 I need someone to stop and tell me that every once and a while.

 

[Angeldove97]

If you don't mind me making a recommendation (and I'm really glad that my post has helped in some way for you ), I'm currently reading a book of using the Bible passages to turn them into prayers to help us pray to break free of our strongholds. I'm currently using it for depression/anxiety and I really like the author's work on this.

You might want to pick up a copy and use the prayers as well to help heal. Its by Beth Moore "Praying God's Word: Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds". It's nothing about demonic possession or anything spiritual in that sense, but instead it helps us to use God's Word to become closer to Him so that we can heal and it specifically claims that we need THIS or THAT healed.

It's a good book that may help you as well

 

[Johnnz]

Life in a fallen world is not fair. Look at the Psalms. Many contain complaints against God (Where are you?). They are very life related. Each of us comes to our own resolution about the really bad things that happen to us. Somehow, for some reason God brings strength out of weakness. That's not our first choice, but we don't get much say in the way God allows the universe to run.

John
NZ

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

I'll just get to the point:

How can I not feel angry at God for letting my brother molest and rape me?
I can't get it around my head, how He says He will protect me, then as a small child (only 5 or 6 at the time) I was sexually abused. What could I have done to deserve it? I wasn't old enough to comprehend "sin", I couldn't even take care of myself for goodness' sake.

And because of this "event", my mom lost faith in God. How could He let THAT happen? I am trying my hardest to witness to her, not to force it on her, and to just gently nudge her along but nothing I do seems to work. I feel so helpless in my family; my mom and dad aren't Christians, my step-dad isn't, and none of my brothers are. And to think, that if they died tomorrow, they would be sent to Hell, because of what someone did to me.

I can't stand it. I don't see how this is "fair" at all. I love God with all that I am, but this problem is getting in the way. It makes me wonder what kind of God I'm really loving if He can just ruin a family for something that a sick-minded man did to me 10 years ago, and how He can damn them to Hell. I just don't know what to think or do anymore.

Having lived through VERY similar circumstances and doing so without God (I was an atheist/agnostic until early 2007) I can tell you that you already have a plus on your side in that you are a believer. Stay close to God, and He will help you heal.

God did not want this to happen to you - but, if you allow Him to, He will heal you and use this awful thing that happened to you to reach others who are hurting. You will have a level of compassion, care and understanding that cannot be matched by anyone who has not lived it.

I never struggled with blaming God - probably because I went so long with no faith at all. Once I came to believe, I now have a picture that I hold in my heart - Jesus, weeping as He watched what was happening. Weeping for me, and weeping for the depraved soul of the person who was perpetrating the abuse.

We are told by Jesus, in the Bible, that in this world we WILL have trouble - not if. But we are also told that we should take heart, because He has overcome the world. We know that the final victory belongs to God. We see only a small portion of God's design and plan - we don't know exactly what part we play, or what part suffering plays. We do know, if we trust in God's word, that He will take our pain and use it to work out His plan.

I would like to suggest a book to you, "The Wounded Heart" by Dan Allender. This book truly spoke to me like no other on the subject has. I would also encourage you to reach out and find pastoral counseling in your area. There are many pitfalls along the way to adulthood for a young person who has been sexually abused - I pray that you will escape them.

May God bless you and keep you.

 

[Antebellum]

Having lived through VERY similar circumstances and doing so without God (I was an atheist/agnostic until early 2007) I can tell you that you already have a plus on your side in that you are a believer. Stay close to God, and He will help you heal.

God did not want this to happen to you - but, if you allow Him to, He will heal you and use this awful thing that happened to you to reach others who are hurting. You will have a level of compassion, care and understanding that cannot be matched by anyone who has not lived it.

I never struggled with blaming God - probably because I went so long with no faith at all. Once I came to believe, I now have a picture that I hold in my heart - Jesus, weeping as He watched what was happening. Weeping for me, and weeping for the depraved soul of the person who was perpetrating the abuse.

We are told by Jesus, in the Bible, that in this world we WILL have trouble - not if. But we are also told that we should take heart, because He has overcome the world. We know that the final victory belongs to God. We see only a small portion of God's design and plan - we don't know exactly what part we play, or what part suffering plays. We do know, if we trust in God's word, that He will take our pain and use it to work out His plan.

I would like to suggest a book to you, "The Wounded Heart" by Dan Allender. This book truly spoke to me like no other on the subject has. I would also encourage you to reach out and find pastoral counseling in your area. There are many pitfalls along the way to adulthood for a young person who has been sexually abused - I pray that you will escape them.

May God bless you and keep you.

Thanks... It's just hard to remember that sometimes. I'll check that book out if I can find it at one of the local bookstores.

God bless you, too!

 

[Angeldove97]

Thanks... It's just hard to remember that sometimes. I'll check that book out if I can find it at one of the local bookstores.

God bless you, too!

Just wanted to stop by and say hi! How have you been feeling lately, Antebellum?

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Oh sweetie

I hurt for you. I know what it's like to be damaged by someone you're supposed to be able to trust and rely on and instill all your faith in, for me it was my father, for you it was your brother, for both of us our hearts have broken and there have been many aftershocks to our families because of it.

You are not alone. God gives us choices, your brother used his free will to hurt and destroy a little girl, or at least try to, and you have used yours to overcome to this point, and to question, albeit in pain, why this happened. That alone is a significant step toward healing, my sister.

I am here if you want to talk. You are not alone. I have been there and I know what it's like from my perspective, and though I cannot ever comprehend exactly how you feel, I can do my best, and I will if you want me to.