How can I help my friend?

[HeatherG]

Hi everyone,

I have a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia for some time. She has been hospitalized in the past with it. When she takes her meds I can see she is so much better. The problem is that she is refusing to take them at the moment, saying there's nothing wrong with her. She goes from one doctor to another, trying to find one who will 'prove' that she hasn't got schizophrenia. But they all agree with the diagnosis and from looking at her behaviour I also believe they are right. When she's out in public she will think that people are shouting abusive language at her and it makes her scared. One time she even got out a pair of scissors in self-defence (that's what landed her in hospital). Today she called me from the bus in a panic saying people were shouting and swearing at her and she didn't know what to do. I'm sure this was a delusion, but every time I try to gently explain this to her she refuses to accept it and gets upset. I know the voices seem real to her. I can see her going downhill and I really believe she should take the meds again before things get worse, but what can I do? She just refuses to accept the diagnosis and the more that people try to persuade her to take the medicine, the more she will lose trust in them.

As 'insiders' to the world of schizophrenia, does anyone have any advice?

Thanks.

HeatherG

 

[lutherangerman]

Hi Heather,

I can totally understand where you and your friend are coming from. I have schizophrenia and I also used to discontinue medication sometimes. But I have to say that in the case of the first medicine I got, I was justified. That medicine never helped me really, and caused massive panic attacks as a side effect. But later on I got better medicine which was really effective, and I'm trying to be strict with it and take it always.

We schizos often have enormous trust issues. We feel like nobody else can really understand us and that makes us really lonely inside and we end up trusting no one.

What I think is important is that you keep talking with your friend. Don't rely on medicine alone as this may cause a feeling in your friend that you trust in the medicine too much; she may think you're ignoring her true problems.

Personally, I think that schizophrenia has to do with demons in some way. And if you rely on medicine alone rather than coupling medication with spiritual efforts, this may not be enough. What your friend needs is a powerful intervention in her life, either through medicine which works (which needs be checked, like in my case doctors can give medicine that doesn't work and needs to be replaced), and/or through God helping her. For example, you could do a real prayer battle together, something like praying WITH each other for 1 HOUR! It must be a heavy dosage so a half a minute prayer together is not enough. Go into nature with her, because when we pray in nature nature prays along with us and makes it all much more beautiful. In the book of Revelation it says that when the devil attacks us, the Earth helps us and swallows all the fire of the dragon and protects us. This means that the devil can harm us much less when we're in nature, especially on a sunny day. The devil is really a big liar and deceiver, but he cannot take away an inch of the world around us and of the people who love us.

I think your friend feels overpowered by the insulting voices and the paranoia. She needs to find understanding. Lead her to forums like this or perhaps other schizophrenia sites. Maybe then she might see that others have had similar experiences like her, and then she might notice how medicines have helped us, provided our doctors made the right choice.

What she can always do is praising God. Let her thank God for the troubles, the demons hate that because it removes our rebellion to God.

God bless!

 

[God's Salvation]

Hi Heather,

It sounds like your friend (bless her heart) is in for a struggle, and what she will need is your continuing friendship. She trusts you or she wouldn't call you. Circumstances will eventually cause her to take the medication, and you can help her accept that she needs it by letting events in her life take their course and being there for her. See, the problem with telling her that she needs the medicine is that this will cause her stress. She desperately doesn't want to accept that she has schizophrenia. Try to keep her stress to a minimum. The problem will be finding the right medication, but any medicine will be a better start than not taking any at all.

 

[Justaman0000]

Help her to stay out of largly populated places, malls, wal-mart, buses. This is a big cause of the paranoia. It took me a years faith in God before I was fully cured and could even step foot in a wal-mart. God is truly the best remedy. Meds work but it is better to trust in God. It was a slow process but eventually I stopped hearing voices, seeing things, and no more paranoia. I agree with Lutherangerman. I think schizophenia has something to do with demons.

 

[HeatherG]

Thanks, Lutherangerman, God's Salvation and Justaman0000 for your replies. Yes, I agree talking with my friend and trying to understand her is important and I have been trying to do that. Sometimes, though, I'm not sure to what extent I should go along with what she says when I think it is a delusion. For example, when she was hearing voices on the bus, I asked her if she could move to another seat so she would be away from the people she thought were shouting at her. I felt that she needed to calm down so that's why I said that, but I'm not sure what the best way of dealing with it should be. Should I keep emphasizing to her that these are delusions, or keep reacting as if what she says is real so that she feels free to share?

I also agree that prayer and faith in God play a big part. I have prayed with her many times, but she is not willing to pray herself. I've also never tried praying solidly with her for like an hour as suggested by Lutherangerman. Perhaps I could try it.

I can see that always insisting on the meds can put extra stress on her. I'm trying to keep a balance of encouraging her to take the medicine and just being there to listen.

Justaman, I'm interested in your story that you were able to get over the schizophrenia through your faith in God. Did you do anything specific to help with this, like pray in a particular way?

Thanks again for your help.

HeatherG

 

[Justaman0000]

Justaman, I'm interested in your story that you were able to get over the schizophrenia through your faith in God. Did you do anything specific to help with this, like pray in a particular way?

Thanks again for your help.

HeatherG

I can't say that I did anything specific or different than i do now. I just fully trusted in the Lord, and pushed on forward. He cleaned me from the inside out. I did as he said and put effort into and applied everything I learned. Jesus said that if your right hand offends you cut it off. Thats practical if it really came down to it, but it is better to completely cut yourself off from whatever causes you to sin. Being in largley poplulated areas was one thing that was really bad. So for years all I did was stay at home, go to the store if I needed to, go to work, and read the bible and pray. As I built up my relationship with God, the Lord showed me how to be patient, kind, joyful, etc....(fruitful). From doing all this my mental problems just all started to go away slowly. I would have to say that trust and surrender were the key things I did. No matter how bad it got I trusted in the Lord in all situations like a child trusts in his/her parents for everything he/she needs.

 

[God's Salvation]

Heather,

Your friend needs to know that there is hope for people who have schizophrenia, that there is hope for her.

I believe that if I would have sought God sooner, it would not have taken 13 years for my paranoid schizophrenia to go into remission. I began to make progress when I began to love God with all my heart and trust Him. That is when my illness began to go into remission: I now can distinguish between what is delusion and what is reality, I'm not withdrawn, and I'm motivated and not depressed.

I've accepted the fact that I may need medication for the rest of my life. It was hard to accept this because for the 13 years since my first psychotic break I've had a very bad time taking medicine. They would cause me horrendous side effects like severe weight gain, pursing lips, muscle stiffness, severe tiredness and sleepiness, and other uncomfortable side effects. Now I take 1 medication, and a very low dose. I don't have harsh side effects from it, so I'm okay with taking it. With your friend, side effects may be the reason she doesn't want to take medication.

Talk with her about it, but there is a time to tell her when she is delusional, and a time when not to tell her. If she is severely out of touch with reality, she will not believe you when you tell her. So why tell her?

It has been a long struggle for me to get to the point where I am now, but I am happy with life again. Having a relationship with the Holy Spirit is the most important factor in my recovering. It makes a world of difference just to know that God loves me. It didn't seem like He did when I was so sick, but I was sinning and far from Him.

I pray for you and your friend, and I hope for the best for you.

 

[HeatherG]

Heather,

Your friend needs to know that there is hope for people who have schizophrenia, that there is hope for her.

I believe that if I would have sought God sooner, it would not have taken 13 years for my paranoid schizophrenia to go into remission. I began to make progress when I began to love God with all my heart and trust Him. That is when my illness began to go into remission: I now can distinguish between what is delusion and what is reality, I'm not withdrawn, and I'm motivated and not depressed.

I've accepted the fact that I may need medication for the rest of my life. It was hard to accept this because for the 13 years since my first psychotic break I've had a very bad time taking medicine. They would cause me horrendous side effects like severe weight gain, pursing lips, muscle stiffness, severe tiredness and sleepiness, and other uncomfortable side effects. Now I take 1 medication, and a very low dose. I don't have harsh side effects from it, so I'm okay with taking it. With your friend, side effects may be the reason she doesn't want to take medication.

Talk with her about it, but there is a time to tell her when she is delusional, and a time when not to tell her. If she is severely out of touch with reality, she will not believe you when you tell her. So why tell her?

It has been a long struggle for me to get to the point where I am now, but I am happy with life again. Having a relationship with the Holy Spirit is the most important factor in my recovering. It makes a world of difference just to know that God loves me. It didn't seem like He did when I was so sick, but I was sinning and far from Him.

I pray for you and your friend, and I hope for the best for you.

Thank you for your reply, God's Salvation. It's great to hear your testimony of how God has brought you through all this. Yes, my friend has complained about the side-effects of the medication, but I can see she is so much more peaceful when she takes it. Maybe she can try a different medicine that suits her better. I will try to encourage her along that path of loving and trusting in God and knowing that there is hope.

Thanks for your prayers.

God bless.

HeatherG

 

[Jeshu]

Hi everyone,

I have a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia for some time. She has been hospitalized in the past with it. When she takes her meds I can see she is so much better. The problem is that she is refusing to take them at the moment, saying there's nothing wrong with her. She goes from one doctor to another, trying to find one who will 'prove' that she hasn't got schizophrenia. But they all agree with the diagnosis and from looking at her behaviour I also believe they are right. When she's out in public she will think that people are shouting abusive language at her and it makes her scared. One time she even got out a pair of scissors in self-defence (that's what landed her in hospital). Today she called me from the bus in a panic saying people were shouting and swearing at her and she didn't know what to do. I'm sure this was a delusion, but every time I try to gently explain this to her she refuses to accept it and gets upset. I know the voices seem real to her. I can see her going downhill and I really believe she should take the meds again before things get worse, but what can I do? She just refuses to accept the diagnosis and the more that people try to persuade her to take the medicine, the more she will lose trust in them.

As 'insiders' to the world of schizophrenia, does anyone have any advice?

Thanks.

HeatherG

Love her and in love make her see what see been up to when she has a clear moment. Confusion comes and goes as do panic attacks to attempt anything then will prove fruitless.

Please give her room to be - don't deny her her reality - but make yours clear as well! Be trust worthy, her own mind isn't, trustworthy loving people are the best medicine for Schizophrenics!

Your friend needs to become aware of herself and the extent of her problem. It took me 4 major psychosis to understand that I suffered from psychosis and I was well into my 30-ish before I understood I heard voices, though I had heard them for more than 25 years. Such are dangerous times, where everyone who doesn't really love her will leave her, only a few of my friends remained.


God's loving help with this, please know you could play an important part of your friends recovery.