How Can I Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt Me?

[Chaplain David]

How Can I Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt Me?

Matt 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

Forgiveness means praying for those who hate you and hurt you.

Eph 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Remember that unforgiveness not only ruins your relationships, but it also poisons your soul. The person most hurt by unforgiveness is you.

John 20:23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." (NKJV)

Eph 4:30-32 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

This is how serious it is. If retained by us and if not dealt with immediately, our unforgiveness can form a root of bitterness. This root of bitterness, because it takes progressively more time and attention away from God, is idolitry because we spend more time with it, tending it like a garden, than we do with the Lord.

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

God’s forgiveness through Christ’s death is the motivation and the model for your forgiveness of others. If God has forgiven you, how can you refuse to forgive someone who has wronged you. And your forgiveness, like God’s is a gift of grace, free to the recipient yet costly to the giver.

Rom 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Punishing evil doers is God’s job, not yours, and God can be trusted to do His job. Therefore you can remove yourself from the endless cycle of revenge and retaliation by forgiving.

 

[irenemcg]

Amen to the above.Forgiving can be a hard thing to do, but think how we ourselves have been forgiven , God forgave our sins when we were so totally undeserving and as believers the desire of our hearts should be to be like Him.
He is a gracious and merciful God who is slow to anger and with the Holy Spirit's help we can be likewise. Many people think that you need to forgive and forget, because the Lord remembers our sins no more , I'm not so sure it is possible for us as mankind to forget in totality, but you can forgive and put whatever has been done to you behind you, and not hold anything against the person who has hurt you anymore. Also we should not try to minimalize what someone has done against us in our minds in order to forgive them. Forgiving is acknowledging what has been done and forgiving the sin in all it's enormity, because that's exactly what the Lord has done for us.
You have heard the saying WWJD What would Jesus do? That's what we need to ask ourselves in those situations and seek to know the Father's heart in all those matters, to see the person who has hurt you the way He sees them.

 

[lilmissmontana]

good thread!

I would say we must take judgement out of the picture ... along with self-justification. My definition of judgement is this:

discernment is when you recognize a situation as wrong
judgement is when you put a therefore on it

So the first thing we must do to forgive is decide it's not for us to judge or condemn their actions. We have the option of removing ourself from their presence.

And only the Lord can justify us. As long as we try to make them see the error of their way ... so to speak we are trying to justify ourselves. When we turn it over to the Lord is when action begins. HE is the justifier.

 

[Nikos7]

Forgiveness is an act of the will not a stirring of the emotions. It is a choice to obey God and let it go. This means not to rehearse it or review it or renew it. If it comes up again to me then take it to the foot of the cross and leave it there.