I want my fellowship with God to be something I want to do, not something I have to do, but I don’t know how to make that happen. I problem is that, it is very difficult for me to connect emotionally in relationships. I have never been particularly close to anyone in my earthly family, including my parents, and I have never had any really close friends, and with my personality, I am not sure that I am capable of having closer relationships. The closest friends I have had were in college campus ministry, but even then I only talked to them once or twice a week, so when someone tells me that I should be having intimate conversation with God on a daily basis, the idea of doing that just tires me out.
I am extremely introverted and have always found it difficult to connect emotionally with other people. I have a hard time having conversations with people. I am not shy or anxious about talking- I just don’t enjoy it, and I have a hard time thinking of things to say to keep the conversation going. As a result, I get burnt out and bored very quickly when I am socializing.
I get frustrated when I hear people say things like, "Your Christian walk should not be a chore. It's about having a relationship!" For me, this is an oxymoron. For me, a relationship is a chore! It can’t be a relationship and at the same time not be a chore! If I were to write a list of the top 10 chores I dislike doing, sitting down with a friend out family member to tell them how my day is going would probably around #6 or 7.
Which brings me to the subject of my prayer life. I have heard several sermons recently which talked about moving away from formalistic prayers into deep, passionate conversations with God. A sermon I listen to today talked about how God, as our Father, longs to have us spend time fellowshipping with Him. I guess that is thrilling and moving for some people, but for me, it just makes me feel guilty for not spending more time with Him.
The problem is that, while I enjoy being in the presence of God, I am not particular enthralled by the idea of talking to Him, in the same way that I am not excited about talking to people in general. I talk to Him because it is something I know I should do. I pray when there is something important I need His help with our someone i care about that i need to intercede for or something exciting I want to thank Him or praise Him for, but just talking to God for the purpose of fellowship does not interest me. My prayers are usually short- I get to the point, tell God what it is I need to tell Him, and then I don’t expound for a long time before I move on to the next item I need to pray about.
I have similar problems with my earthly parents. I communicate with them if there is something practical I need to tell them or ask them. Beyond that, I make sure to talk to them on the phone once a week because I know that they would get upset if I didn’t call. I don’t really care about talking to them that often, but I do it because I know I have to in order to be a good daughter. That is pretty much how my prayer life ends up working. I don’t feel an emotional pull to talk to my Father, but I do it because I know I have to in order to be a good daughter.
How do I get closer to God and keep my Christian walk from becoming a chore?
I am extremely introverted and have always found it difficult to connect emotionally with other people. I have a hard time having conversations with people. I am not shy or anxious about talking- I just don’t enjoy it, and I have a hard time thinking of things to say to keep the conversation going. As a result, I get burnt out and bored very quickly when I am socializing.
I get frustrated when I hear people say things like, "Your Christian walk should not be a chore. It's about having a relationship!" For me, this is an oxymoron. For me, a relationship is a chore! It can’t be a relationship and at the same time not be a chore! If I were to write a list of the top 10 chores I dislike doing, sitting down with a friend out family member to tell them how my day is going would probably around #6 or 7.
Which brings me to the subject of my prayer life. I have heard several sermons recently which talked about moving away from formalistic prayers into deep, passionate conversations with God. A sermon I listen to today talked about how God, as our Father, longs to have us spend time fellowshipping with Him. I guess that is thrilling and moving for some people, but for me, it just makes me feel guilty for not spending more time with Him.
The problem is that, while I enjoy being in the presence of God, I am not particular enthralled by the idea of talking to Him, in the same way that I am not excited about talking to people in general. I talk to Him because it is something I know I should do. I pray when there is something important I need His help with our someone i care about that i need to intercede for or something exciting I want to thank Him or praise Him for, but just talking to God for the purpose of fellowship does not interest me. My prayers are usually short- I get to the point, tell God what it is I need to tell Him, and then I don’t expound for a long time before I move on to the next item I need to pray about.
I have similar problems with my earthly parents. I communicate with them if there is something practical I need to tell them or ask them. Beyond that, I make sure to talk to them on the phone once a week because I know that they would get upset if I didn’t call. I don’t really care about talking to them that often, but I do it because I know I have to in order to be a good daughter. That is pretty much how my prayer life ends up working. I don’t feel an emotional pull to talk to my Father, but I do it because I know I have to in order to be a good daughter.
How do I get closer to God and keep my Christian walk from becoming a chore?
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