How can I deal with the ignorance of others?

[Smashleigh17]

I have very recently found Christ and while most people around me have accepted it, I have been hit fairly hard with rejection from some of the people I felt were among my closest friends.

I commenced attending Church last weekend and while I was out to dinner the night after I mentioned the fact I'd attended and not only was I met with collective shock, but one of them took it as far as to call me a hypocrite and a liar when I denied that I was attending Church for a guy. She didn't even let me give my reasons, just simply shouted at me and then told everyone she didn't give a s*** that she'd made me upset cause I was a hypocrite.

Perhaps I am a hypocrite, to her, as three of the people at that dinner table are gay and I love them all despite this but I have never said a single disrespectful word against any of them and just couldn't believe that they'd judge me so quickly for something that I feel is so amazing.

As well as this, I've had friends send me messages being sarcastic with 'Praise the Lord (Y)' or 'LOL we wanna come get our Church on' and then laughing in my face about it. That and my brother is always telling me I must be possessed and that I'm wrong and that I'm stupid.

How can I deal with this long enough to defend myself? Despite all this I haven't denied my Faith nor have I blamed God for bringing it on me, I actually believe He is showing me who my real friends are but I just get upset about it before I can stand strong.

I have been praying for strength and guidance but is there anyone out there who's been through the same thing and could offer some advice for the time being?

Thanks heaps.

 

[paul1149]

Absolutely awesome to find Christ at a young age. You have saved yourself a world of woe.

About the problem, one key is to understand that they're not attacking you, they're attacking Christ. He told us it would happen exactly like that. Once you realize it's not personal, you can relax, and that's half the battle. Then the Holy Spirit can give you a word of wisdom to counter their arguments, and they will be speechless.

On one level, you can't blame them for wanting evidence. There are fakes out there that have given the Lord a bid name, and the culture is against us. So patience is key here as well. As you persevere in walking with God, many of the critics will stand down. You may begin to start earning a new level of respect. You have even have conversions as the fruit of your endurance.

If it's too bad, you may well have to walk away and let them make their own choices. But as you do that with equanimity, even that will be a witness that won't go unnoticed.

Some may never stop their persecution. If that is the case, it does not go unnoticed with God. He is well able to mete out both rewards and punishments as in appropriate, so take heart that you are storing up rewards when you do the right thing. Read 1Peter for more on that kind of suffering.

 

[SharonL]

You don't have to defend God - you don't need to try and change them. Just let them see the Joy in your life - people who do not believe cannot understand the transformation that takes place when you become a believer - you are truely a new creation.

It will take them awhile to see the change and that you are sincere. No need to preach to them and try to change them, that is God's job - all He is asking you to do now is to be a witness for him - live your life and let the fruit of your walk be the witness to the others. If they don't accept it, the Bible tells us to dust off our shoes and move on. They won't be able to stand seeing the Joy of the Lord on you and in you - they will continue to make fun and laugh, just laugh with them and don't let it get to you. Sooner or later they will come to respect you and see the difference - don't lose your patience with them or get mad - it will happen and you will be the light that leads them home. You don't have to stop being friends with the gay people, if they don't like you since you have become a new creation - it is not you they dislike, but the Spirit of God within you that freightens them. The enemy will use them to try and discourage you - just stomp on his head and move on. You will be fine. Put your hand in the hand of Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide you, singing the praises of God - the Bible tells us Jesus is as close as your shadow and a heartbeat away and your friend - you can talk to Jesus as a friend. You don't have to be on bended knee, Bible in hand - He is with you every step of the way. Proud of you.

 

[joey_downunder]

Wow it started early for you, and in quite an aggressive manner! It sounds like a spiritual battle has really begun in your life and you don't know how to handle it yet. They are not rejecting you, you are copping the hostility they have towards God. Yes it can be hard not to take it personally.

She is in fact revealing what is in her own heart when she can't imagine anyone attending a church for any reason except to find a potential romantic partner.

And he [Jesus] said, “Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” (Matthew 15:16-20)

It can be hard. Like you said God is revealing who your real friends are. You don't have to cut ties with them but at this point in time it might be wise to distance yourself a little bit from them until you feel stronger in the Lord. I hope you can find some good christian support in person as well as online.

P.S. Make sure this knowledge about your friend doesn't make you judgemental but more understanding of her.

 

[razeontherock]

I have very recently found Christ

Congratulations and welcome to the family of God!

Those are a poor imitation of the Angels in heaven rejoicing over you, but you get the idea?

Perhaps I am a hypocrite, to her, as three of the people at that dinner table are gay and I love them all despite this

Please hear me on this; Love is never hypocritical! And forgiveness is ALWAYS of the Lord! No I do not defend the practice of homosexuality, nor any other sin; but let we those who are w/o sin cast the first stone. That way, no stones will be cast.

I've had friends send me messages being sarcastic with 'Praise the Lord (Y)' or 'LOL we wanna come get our Church on' and then laughing in my face about it.

I'm going to give you some sound advice, and i hope you can take it the way I mean it:

Praise the Lord with them. Invite them to Church with you. If they're going to joke like this, go ahead and share your excitement with them then and there, outside the Church walls. The old saying goes "kill them with kindness,"
and I suppose this is a variation of that?

Sister, you are being tested. Yes, it's awfully fast for that! Apparently the spirit realm has been shaken, and you truly are born again. What does your outcome depend on? I mean, hell itself has been roused, and stirs it's dead, to meet YOU.

Fear not, for HE has overcome the world, and conquered hell, and has the keys to it (as well as death) in His hand! While I expect you don't yet fathom the weight of that Scripture, you are getting a taste of it now, aren't you?

That and my brother is always telling me I must be possessed and that I'm wrong and that I'm stupid.

Ok now that's just plain mean. Even if you are both adults, can you get your parents involved with this?

How can I deal with this long enough to defend myself?

When is the last time you read Ephesians 6? You're going to have to make a habit of "living in the Epistles." You really are going to learn to depend on Christ - we all will. Might as well get to it

Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

 

[tturt]

Yes, welcome! Asking Yahweh to give you His wisdom and His strength.

 

[chilehed]

How can you deal with the ignorance of others?

Pray that God would conform you to him.

Explain as best you can to those who are really interested; thus far it appears that you haven't run into them.

As for those who mock you: repeat prayers like the one above, take a deep breath, shake your head very minutely and do not respond in kind. Treat them, by the grace of God, with charity.

And keep praying.

 

[thesunisout]

I have very recently found Christ and while most people around me have accepted it, I have been hit fairly hard with rejection from some of the people I felt were among my closest friends.

I commenced attending Church last weekend and while I was out to dinner the night after I mentioned the fact I'd attended and not only was I met with collective shock, but one of them took it as far as to call me a hypocrite and a liar when I denied that I was attending Church for a guy. She didn't even let me give my reasons, just simply shouted at me and then told everyone she didn't give a s*** that she'd made me upset cause I was a hypocrite.

Perhaps I am a hypocrite, to her, as three of the people at that dinner table are gay and I love them all despite this but I have never said a single disrespectful word against any of them and just couldn't believe that they'd judge me so quickly for something that I feel is so amazing.

As well as this, I've had friends send me messages being sarcastic with 'Praise the Lord (Y)' or 'LOL we wanna come get our Church on' and then laughing in my face about it. That and my brother is always telling me I must be possessed and that I'm wrong and that I'm stupid.

How can I deal with this long enough to defend myself? Despite all this I haven't denied my Faith nor have I blamed God for bringing it on me, I actually believe He is showing me who my real friends are but I just get upset about it before I can stand strong.

I have been praying for strength and guidance but is there anyone out there who's been through the same thing and could offer some advice for the time being?

Thanks heaps.

Hello sister, and welcome to Gods family. I do understand your pain and frustration. My secular "friends" have treated me the same way, and some of my family members as well. The best way to deal with this is foremost, to rely on Gods strength.

Matthew 11:28

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest

Lay all of this at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to help you through it. Renew your mind daily with the word of God. It is your spiritual nourishment; don't let yourself starve or you will be spiritually weak. Also, stay in prayer, both for yourself and for your friends. This is what scripture says about how you should react:

Luke 6:28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you

As a Christian, you have to start thinking about the eternal and spiritual implications of things, as opposed to what is happening in the natural. Really, you need to turn this whole thing on its head. The real problem, the cause of all of this, is that your friends don't know Jesus. The solution is to counter these attacks with the love of Christ. That is what this scripture is talking about. Your friends need prayer. The bitterness of their opposition to the gospel is strong evidence of that.

You also need to be fully armed with knowledge and the wisdom of God. You need to understand what is going on. The basic reason this is happening to you is because the moment you became a Christian, you entered into a spiritual warfare. The enemy is unleashing a full frontal assault on you right now to try to break you before you become strong in the faith. Look at what scripture says:

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm

Your friends, as we all were formally, are under the control of Satan and he is using them to attack you. What this scripture is saying is that this isn't really about you and them. It is saying that there is a spiritual battle taking place in the midst of it, between the Holy Spirit that is within you, and the spirit of error within them. So, what you need to do is rely on God instead of on your own power, because on our own we can do nothing against these evil spirits. We need to stand in the power of God to triumph. He will give you the right words to say. Read Ephesians 6:10-18 to learn about the whole armor of God.

You're absolutely correct though; you are finding out who your real friends are. Isn't it amazing how little you knew some people whom you thought were close to you? This is because we can't see what's in a persons heart. Only God knows the heart. This is what Jesus said:

Matthew 12:30

He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters

You are not only finding out who is really your friend, but who is truly against Jesus. Here is another truth:

John 3:19-20

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed

Scripture says we are the light of the world, because we have the Spirit of God living within us. That is another reason why you are being insulted, because your light is exposing their darkness.

Don't listen to the lies of the devil. You will find that there is going to be much gossip and backbiting going on, but look past it. Forgive everyone, do not hold grudges. That is one of the worst things you can do; forgiveness isn't an option in the kingdom of God, it is a requirement. Look at what else scripture says:

1 Peter 4:14

If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.

Isn't that something? Insults can actually be blessings in disguise. This is what Jesus said:

Matthew 5:11-12

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I understand that it may be hard to rejoice right now, but it is this very persecution which is the evidence of a great reward for you in Heaven. That is definitely something you can rejoice about.

Keep things in a Godly perspective, and I highly advise you to start learning about spiritual warfare. I recommend this book for starters:

Amazon.com: The Three Battlegrounds: An In-Depth View of the Three Arenas of Spiritual Warfare: The Mind, the Church and the Heavenly Places (9781886296381): Francis Frangipane: Books

Just remember to recognize the voice of the enemy and his lies, and don't believe them. Know that you are a child of the Most High God, washed clean of sin, and justified by your faith.

I'll be praying for you. God bless you sister.

 

[JesusisallIneed]

Hey Christian Friend,

This has happened to me but in a different way. It was church members and leaders of churches that were putting me down. Because I was not in either cliche or I did not act/look like them. You know something I realized that it is not them it is Satan. I use to worry about how others perceived me to the point it affected my health and I finally realized when someone stated "man does not have a heaven or hell to put me in" the only one I should be pleasing is GOD. And you know something a HUGE HUGE burden was lifted off me. I was almost at the point of ending my life but I realized that the most important person that loves me is GOD. Also another thing that helped me conquer this is, is this saying "It is what is in your heart that matters to God not what everybody else sees.

I went through a tribulation of not wanting to go to church because of other non-Christians in church rejecting me-gossiping, lying, etc..then I realized I was not going to let others steal my joy of my loving God and Christ. I am still going through some of rejection with this new church I am attending. Some members don't want to speak with me and very cold but you know what is getting me through this is to keep my focus on God not them.

So my advice to you my friend is to read your bible, stay focused on GOD, keep a positive attitude despite the negative around you. The negative is the enemy and never acknowledge the devil rebuke him and I think you will survive this spiritual storm. I do not think so I know so... (((Hugs))). And remember we (Christians) in this forum love you too. Everyone here at this site has helped me tremendously and from the postings I have read in your message they are helping you too I have also gained some more insight to. And finally friend God loves you too!

I have very recently found Christ and while most people around me have accepted it, I have been hit fairly hard with rejection from some of the people I felt were among my closest friends.

I commenced attending Church last weekend and while I was out to dinner the night after I mentioned the fact I'd attended and not only was I met with collective shock, but one of them took it as far as to call me a hypocrite and a liar when I denied that I was attending Church for a guy. She didn't even let me give my reasons, just simply shouted at me and then told everyone she didn't give a s*** that she'd made me upset cause I was a hypocrite.

Perhaps I am a hypocrite, to her, as three of the people at that dinner table are gay and I love them all despite this but I have never said a single disrespectful word against any of them and just couldn't believe that they'd judge me so quickly for something that I feel is so amazing.

As well as this, I've had friends send me messages being sarcastic with 'Praise the Lord (Y)' or 'LOL we wanna come get our Church on' and then laughing in my face about it. That and my brother is always telling me I must be possessed and that I'm wrong and that I'm stupid.

How can I deal with this long enough to defend myself? Despite all this I haven't denied my Faith nor have I blamed God for bringing it on me, I actually believe He is showing me who my real friends are but I just get upset about it before I can stand strong.

I have been praying for strength and guidance but is there anyone out there who's been through the same thing and could offer some advice for the time being?

Thanks heaps.

 

[ViaCrucis]

I have very recently found Christ and while most people around me have accepted it, I have been hit fairly hard with rejection from some of the people I felt were among my closest friends.

I commenced attending Church last weekend and while I was out to dinner the night after I mentioned the fact I'd attended and not only was I met with collective shock, but one of them took it as far as to call me a hypocrite and a liar when I denied that I was attending Church for a guy. She didn't even let me give my reasons, just simply shouted at me and then told everyone she didn't give a s*** that she'd made me upset cause I was a hypocrite.

Perhaps I am a hypocrite, to her, as three of the people at that dinner table are gay and I love them all despite this but I have never said a single disrespectful word against any of them and just couldn't believe that they'd judge me so quickly for something that I feel is so amazing.

As well as this, I've had friends send me messages being sarcastic with 'Praise the Lord (Y)' or 'LOL we wanna come get our Church on' and then laughing in my face about it. That and my brother is always telling me I must be possessed and that I'm wrong and that I'm stupid.

How can I deal with this long enough to defend myself? Despite all this I haven't denied my Faith nor have I blamed God for bringing it on me, I actually believe He is showing me who my real friends are but I just get upset about it before I can stand strong.

I have been praying for strength and guidance but is there anyone out there who's been through the same thing and could offer some advice for the time being?

Thanks heaps.

Most of this is simply due to young people being stupid. Ideally most of these friends of yours will grow up, become adults, and learn to tolerate people of diverse backgrounds. That's just maturity (though it comes easier to some than others).

The most important thing you can do is learn to live through it with peace, dignity, while respecting, accepting and loving them. You can't control them, but you can control yourself, and you have a perfect opportunity to be gentle, kind, gracious, tolerant, forgiving and loving through all of this.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Smashleigh17]

Sorry for the delay in my response everyone !

I just wanted to say, before I try and launch a response, that I greatly appreciate your taking the time to read my post and respond. The advice you've given has definitely helped and I have taken everything you have said into consideration.

I was talking to a couple of people at Church on Saturday night about the above type stuff and when they asked how I was dealing with it all I told them of the advice you guys had given me and how I'd been holding onto that as well as praying for strength, guidance and patience and they had agreed with everything that was said whole heartedly.

I think the biggest issue, really, is the fact that I'm having to deal with the consequences of my past now that I have seen the error of my ways and at the same time having to deal with my friends being disrespectful. I just don't understand why they can accept me for who I was, when I wasn't exactly the best kind of person, but now they're having such difficulty accepting me now that I feel like I'm a better person.

Just as an update on the friend of mine who called me a hypocrite and a liar, the day after that whole incident I sent a message apologising for my behaviour and told everyone who was there that if they wanted an explanation to come find me, otherwise I was willing to let it drop (I also added that wanting to go to Church/follow my new-found faith was my business and they had no right to judge) and, although none of them replied, I ran into two of the girls (including the one who told me off), and everything was fine. So that's all resolved in that I've forgiven them and they've all but forgotten but now I'm just afraid of when it's brought up again.

I thank-you for your welcomes to the Christian family - everyone, both online and at Church, have been very accommodating and lovely and it has actually come as a bit of a shock. It's a weird feeling to know that you can be supported and understood by complete strangers when your friends can't do the same.

I have felt God with me throughout this whole thing and as each day passes I feel myself getting slightly stronger and more able to outwardly cope with any disrespect or ignorance. I understand that it is going to be a slow, and painful, progress but I trust God 100% to get me through it.

I'm sorry if this response doesn't make sense or, as is probably the case, is all over the place but what I'm trying to say, all in all, is that I appreciate the words you have each imparted on me and just the sole fact you took the time to respond at all.

May the Lord bless and watch over you all !

 

[razeontherock]

Good to hear back from you!

I just don't understand why they can accept me for who I was, when I wasn't exactly the best kind of person, but now they're having such difficulty accepting me now that I feel like I'm a better person.

There are actually some solid reasons for this. Among them are that they can feel convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit; yes, through you. A servant (us) is not above their Master, (Jesus) and people hated Him. Some will hate us also. Count it all joy!

Just as an update on the friend of mine who called me a hypocrite and a liar,

I've forgiven them

THIS is what's important! (And what you have control over) Even just a casual reading of the Gospels reveals that this is crucial, and the more we understand the Bible as a whole (and God Himself) the more we come to terms
with just how potent this detail is. So I present you with the idea that while forgiveness is a momentary decision - those moments don't cease in this life. Expect to "do Spiritual battle" not only on the general topic of forgiveness, but even on this same issue. (And/or others)

It's a weird feeling to know that you can be supported and understood by complete strangers when your friends can't do the same.

John the Baptist lept in his Mother's womb, at the sound of Jesus' Mom's voice. Think about that We can absolutely have that kind of bond with people, via the Holy Spirit. Is it a taste of what heaven is like?

 

[joey_downunder]

Good to hear back from you. I am glad you found all of our comments helpful.