How bad is lying?

[JC_girl]

I was just wondering how bad lying is.
Of course there are lies that are really bad, but sometimes I wonder how bad one little lie really is.
For instance, my friend has told me something that she expects me to keep a secret. I'm great with secrets, but if someone asks me if she had told me anything and I say no, I feel really bad for lying. If I say "Yes, but I cant tell you what", I put the girl who told me in a real bad position.

So what I want to know is, how bad is the white lies you tell to protect someone else?

 

[Sketcher]

In that case, a good response would be "It's none of your business."

 

[salida]

Or say, yes she told me but ask her if you want to know. I told her I would not discuss it. Or don't say anything and avoid the issue. Be honest.

(This is a strong scripture for lying-don't lie)
Re 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

If you start doing it-it will lead down a bad road.

 

[Peripatetic]

I don't like the idea of "white lies". I know some people do them with good intentions. People often do this as a way of protecting someone from the truth, and I don't like it. Contrary to popular belief, people (even kids) can handle the truth. They may not need every detail, but you don't have to twist it into a lie.

In situations like yours, you can always find a way to answer the question in a way that is truthful, but does not give up a secret. In your case, I'd probably answer like this: "If it's private, I shouldn't say either way, right?" If you consistently answer that way (whether you know something or not), people can't even draw a conclusion. Just be consistent. For example, if someone asks you if you've ever done something and you usually answer "no" but sometimes say, "that's none of your business", they will quickly learn that the second answer means "yes". If you always answer, "that's none of your business", they'll get no information and no lies are necessary.

Another type of while lie that I really dislike is an idle threat. If you say to your kid, "if you do that one more time, we're leaving", you better be prepared to leave if he/she does it again! Otherwise, your words carry no weight. Again, be consistent and you don't need to lie.

 

[heymikey80]

Lying's lethal. Christ is forgiving. We're all wrong.

You can come up with situations where lying would be preferred to not lying. Every case involves dealing with some other sin that should not exist. It's an accommodation to sin. It's not good. It's just less bad.

 

[heron]

In line with what others said, I think you can rise above the demands and show people that all information does not need to be shared.

There is a time-sensitivity to some information. Like a person who is pregnant but wants to wait until Christmas to tell people. Or a person with a terminal illness who does not want people to fuss over it until they are sure it's that bad.

The information this time seems to be a big deal. Think through ways you can help her while guarding her information. Does she need outside resources, does she need to report a criminal... help her find the support she needs.

If friends pressure you for information, think of a topic you can distract them with. You don't have to let them control the conversation -- you can do that too. It is like taking dangerous items from babies -- if you just yank it out of their hands, they will cry. If you hand them a new toy, they will drop the sharp object.

 

[Mister_Al]

Just say: "I'd rather not say." Or, ask them: "Why do you want to know?"


Alan

 

[heron]

Notice the Laws of Moses stated, "Not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
We would assume that covered all lies, but the focus is on court justice, where the outcome of a trial would lead to false results. The guilty might go free, and the innocent might be punished.

Even the term "neighbor" narrows it -- war strategies seem exempt from that category.

But we all know it's detrimental to lie, in the long run. You can't keep the trust of your friends and clients if you lie.

 

[pilgrimgal]

This is a good question and something we all face from time to time.

Lying in itself, that is bearing false witness, is definitely wrong. But there are times when we don't have to tell what we know or all we know especially when it means giving out confidential information which could hurt someone else. A poster here has answered well already and I agree..you can tell them to "ask the person" themselves. That usually ends it. If they pursue beyond that you may have to simply tell them that you are not at liberty to discuss that and that should be that.

Also, it helps me to pray that God give me the wisdom to speak the truth in love at all times. There are just times when I shouldn't tell all I know or something I know; and so it is good to ask for wisdom in that as well.

peace and blessings in Christ...

 

[heron]

Abraham lied about his wife being his sister; she was given favor but also put at risk, and probably offended that her marriage vows were ignored. Abraham's consequences were not as horrible as we would expect.

Ananias and Sapphira lied about how much they donated, when there was no expected amount, and they fell over dead.

Rahab was rescued and honored for housing spies; that, in a sense, was lying.

Jonah lied about why he was on a boat, running from what God wanted him to do; and eventually the crew decided he was the cause of their problems.

There are natural consequences for everything we do.
There are also things that we don't need to discuss with everyone who demands information.

 

[TheGuide]

I was just wondering how bad lying is.
Of course there are lies that are really bad, but sometimes I wonder how bad one little lie really is.
For instance, my friend has told me something that she expects me to keep a secret. I'm great with secrets, but if someone asks me if she had told me anything and I say no, I feel really bad for lying. If I say "Yes, but I cant tell you what", I put the girl who told me in a real bad position.

So what I want to know is, how bad is the white lies you tell to protect someone else?

Sadly, lying is something people do, myself included, and it's so easy to do. Jesus hates it. Like everything bad, we must work to overcome it because not to puts us in danger of missing heaven, Jesus' words not mine.

 

[NR90]

If you really feel bad about lying, then all you need to do is confess to God your sin and if thats not enough then go back and tell the person you lied and that will lift the weight off your shoulder.

 

[papaJP]

To be blunt Lies are all the same sin and all sin is equal in God's eyes. Can we be perfect? No! However, if we know God He will forgive us if we repent. Repentance is to turn away and not do that sin again. It may seem hard but with God's help you can succeed.