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How abundant is your life as a single?

B

Bridgit

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I suppose there are pros and cons about being single.

I've been divorced now for nearly 5 years and realized that it's not bad. My ex was a miserable, mean person, so being single for me meant freedom and peace. I have my own schedule. I can enjoy my teen kids before they will soon leave me to start their adult life. I can read in bed before falling asleep, without bothering anybody. I can take days off from work when it's convenient. I can spend quality time with God because peace reigns in my house. I can go out to eat or to the movies when I feel like it. I can go for long rides with the christian radio turned up and all the windows turned down, singing along, if I feel like it. I can stay after church services to pray with people as long as it's needed, or just chit chat as long as I want. There is so much freedom, joy, and peace in being single.

I do miss the love I would feel if I had a loving husband, the hugs, kisses, holding hands, enjoying life together. But I am leaving it up to God to either keep me single or to remarry. I told Him that He would have to make it pretty clear if He wanted me to remarry a certain person He'd put on my path.

Right now, I am enjoying every moment of my life, in His strength, in His grace, in His love, and for Him.
 
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dayhiker

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you sound like your feeling much of what I'm feeling. But I do have a long term GF right now that helps a lot with the hugs etc.

Looks like your enjoying the time of healing from the issues in your marriage, that's great.

dayhiker
 
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GQ Chris

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Mine's pretty rich, I am active and bettering myself and my career and education, I don't want to be hasty and get involved with someone I don't thoroughly know. I have close friends that I go out with, I came a long way from where I used to be in terms of values and life outlook, and I will only get involved with someone who shares my core values and beliefs. I made mistakes in the past and have learned and moved on, and God took me this far why shouldn't I trust Him with the rest.
 
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May 21, 2007
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No, no no! Don't say that. "Life gets worse after 29 being single?" There is ALOT MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP/ MARRIED...JUST ASK JESUS....HE GAVE YOU LIFE....I think it's all in the eye of the beholder. You are what you think you are. If you are shy that is fine....There are ways to enjoy yourself and a friend of the opposite sex..I find when you STOP LOOKING THAT ISWHEN THEY WILL POUR IN..I get approached often...some of them Ido not interest me and I say "no" to the others just because I enjoy staying single. I too, am 29. It's o.k. to be single, enjoy yourself. Do things you like to do , take up a hobby or two. Have you tried joing a local gym to try to connect to people? I don't mean go there to meet guys (cause i hate when guys do that). I mean have you tried to make new friends?
If you look at some of my other post I mention that I even ask a guy on a date. You have to take a chance...I never wanted to miss an oppurtunity to get to know him on that level. Though things didn't work out...at least I tried.
 
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May 21, 2007
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Hey
Don't be so DOWN on yourself. What do you mean you don't have any goals or priorities? You're RIGHT 100% , YOU ARE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MARRIED!!! NOW STOP! Life is not:
MARRIAGE
A MAN
A RELATIONSHIP
A HOUSE
SOCIAL GATHERINGS ....THE LIST GOES ON FOREVER..
LIFE IS:
BEING CONTENT
YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH
FREEDOM:TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN FAITH, FROM ANY BONDAGE WHAT SO EVER, TO BE A US CITIZEN
BEING THANKFUL CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS...
THIS LIST GOES ON FOREVER.
Like I mentioned in my post previously... Once you STOP LOOKING that's when it will happen. Sorry if I come across so strong, but I just don't equate my self worth or life with relationships. Just because you don't have a significant other doesn't make you worthless.
Also, if your friend has a rich spiritual/social life it's not a reflection of him being married. Anyone can do that. He has a rich social /spiritual life because that's just his lifestyle..You too, can have a rich spiritual life...I am for sure that you don't have to be married to enjoy a spiritual life.
I wish you all the best! Much love....And stop comparing yourself to other people.
 
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songz777

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I have been single all my christian life and whilst I want to be married I believe that my life is full and abundant even though i go through really hurt times.
I know when i am married whilst i will be blest in other areas there will things i cannot do so much and freedom etc for i shall be devoted to her. I totally refuse to believe that being married = the true happiness and fullness of life. It is jist another facet of lifes fulness that only God can give.
 
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Niels

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Jenster said:
How abundant is your life as a single?

My life is not as obviously abundant when compared to some, but I try to make the best of what I have. Most who live externally abundant lives seem to be involved in serious, long term, relationships. Something about the dynamic of a serious relationship brings a person out of his or her shell. That may make their lives seem more abundant. It's hard to say. I try not to envy them, because it's a bit like comparing apples to oranges. Envy would lead me to put a lesser value on the ways that I've been blessed. That would neither be edifying for me, nor pleasing to God.
 
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J

Jenster

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Miles, I quite agree! And thanks for the reminder about the evils of envy.
 
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dayhiker

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I'd considered my single life to be abundant, but lately I've had to work more hours to keep enough money coming in. So I'm not voting that my single life isn't as abundant as I'd like it to be. But then I'd probably have the same situation if I was married.

Now if I could retire, I could have the abundant life again ... LOL

dayhiker
 
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mina

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I didn't mean LIFE got worse. I meant the opportunities and the response from others got worse. I have many hobbies and try to get out and meet people. I don't really go to things to look for dates so I really wouldn't classify myself as LOOKING, but I have yet to see those pouring in moments. I have several older singles in my life and after just observing how people treat them and don't include them in things; I can't say it's what I really want for my life. I don't really know how to explain that, but I guess I felt a need to respond to you. i do enjoy life and try not to think about the future.
 
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wildthing

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Guys, gals things are a changing in my sorry little life... I have a misson and found purpose in my life and a new person. She came 8 months after I dropped out of my last relationship. The thing was is that I knew her from along time ago and never really paid that much attention to her... I wish to say she was CFer but she isn't and she didn't come from Ehormny either.
 
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