housework vs. childcare

[Evening Mist]

This is an area where I end up feeling guilty no matter what I'm doing. If I keep our house clean, then I need to put a substantial amount of time into cleaning it. Time that could be spent with my kids, or spent 'refueling' emotionally so that I can be a better mother. If I ignore the house, then I worry that I'm not providing a healthy living environment for them, and I get kind of grouchy because *I* feel better living and caring for my kids in a clean house.

I know there must be a balance, but I have yet to find it. It seems like something always has to give a little.

I honestly try to lower my standards about cleanliness in my house. But it is hard for me.

One solution that I've worked at is involving the kids when I clean. They LOVE it and they are both learning useful skills and spending quality time with me. And they are contributing to our family. But it takes 3x as long to complete the task, and 4x the energy. (imagine mopping the floor with the "help" of a toddler. ) I still think it is important to do it, but it ends up meaning the whole house is never clean, because we have to focus on small areas.

I don't know. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has hit on a fool proof way to balance housework and family-care. I know I probably have it easier than many, since I am home full-time. I always feel amazed by mothers who balance work, family and keep a clean house!!! Amazing!!! But -- I thought I'd put my dilemma out there, in case anyone has any wise advice.

 

[Beckijhn]

I had to giggle! When I was working full time (at one point 7 days a week) my home was so much easier to keep organized. We were never home to mess it up!!! It was just as bad then as it is now (or good depending on your standards) but it took less time to keep it there.

I had a hard time balancing it with small children too. As they got older they were able to take on some of the chores - making beds, cleaning up their own toys and clothes, putting away the dishes, etc. But it still took time. My 10yo son can finally make a bed that looks 'made'.

I don't have any wise advice! I don't have a clue how we made it through without mom losing her mind, but don't be hard on yourself. Train them to help as you clean so they can take some of that responsibility as they grow. Try giving them a spray bottle (vinegar and water) and a rag. Let them 'clean' doorknobs, windows, etc while you work on things like the floor or dishes. Let them 'fold' clothes (towels and washrags are best) while you do the hard stuff.

It can be fun for them and productive for you - in your time and your energy levels!

 

[Evening Mist]

Today at 11:42 AM Beckijhn said this in Post #2

I had to giggle! When I was working full time (at one point 7 days a week) my home was so much easier to keep organized. We were never home to mess it up!!! .

That is a really good point, and it actually makes me feel a lot better. Our house is very much 'lived in' and that is probably where all the work comes from!

 

[Didymus]

don t worry about it. do one job a day if you can. laundry day. vacum day.dont worry about the beds. they will be in school before you know it.unless your in -laws drop in a lot no one will care.

 

[lucypevensie]

It's like shoveling snow during a blizzard, isn't it? You get some room cleaned up and an hour later it looks like a tornado hit! I've had to learn to not sweat the small stuff. I do clean the house daily, and it's clean enough to have guests drop by and I won't be totally humiliated. However, it's not spotless, and sometimes the beds go unmade, and the TV has dust on it. www.flylady.net really helped me. Check that out if you haven't already!

 

[Beckijhn]

ooh oh oh oh - Yes the flylady - I love her. She can get you started on a basic regiment that is so easy once you get it down. I still use her morning routines and have the kids going on their own routines.

Good suggestion!!!

 

[Evening Mist]

Yeah -- I've read flylady's web page. I found that I do my own version already, that is pretty close to her routine. I think I might lean a little bit toward being -- too complusive. But it is hard to know. And the tiniest things drive me crazy -- dust bunnies and what not.

 

[lucypevensie]

The thing that really helps me with compulsiveness is that I set time limits for myself. I will not work on one chore for more than 15 minutes per day (unless it's extreeeeemley bad). I set the timer and when it buzzes THAT'S IT! If there's still one dust bunny sitting under the couch, too bad, there's always tomorrow. I just sit back and relish in the fact that I accomplished 45 minutes (or whatever) of housework and admire how much better it all looks. You just have to let go of the small stuff--it's just SMALL STUFF.

I like the old poem which has this little saying: "Quiet down, cobwebs! Dust, go to sleep! I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

 

[Didymus]

dull women have imaculate houses. my husband only objects to cobwebs. i think my daughter will be a worse housekeeper then i am. My mother is soo clean but she says she likes to clean. i like not to