This week has been so difficult. Since Saturday, I've been feeling very low, and I've tried so many things to stop it. I have Bipolar Disorder, and my medication has been altered a bit recently, but I am still having the highs, and the lows are becoming even worse.
It's now Wednesday night..and I'm in hospital..
This morning I overdosed. I wasn't wanting to die..I just wanted to check out..pass out for a little while.. I now realise that it was so much more than I bargained for. And so not worth it.
It could have killed me. The enemy almost won...and I realise that now..
I love Jesus with all of my heart... I never wanted to let Him down.
As my dad took me to hospital this morning, he said to me, "I've just had a revelation.. Christians are just like other people, they struggle with all the same things... The only difference Christians have to others, is that they know they can turn to God.."
So he prayed with me....
I didn't mean to overdose to the extent I did. I regret it... I now see it was selfish and stupid of me...although it may not have seemed so at the time.
All I ask for, is that you could please pray for me...
Many of you with Bipolar will understand what the lows are like..and how impulsive we can become.. Even when we do love God.. I pray for strength for all of us.
I've realised a lot while being in here...and don't plan on this happening again.. Just lying here, with my mum asleep on the couch next to me, I realise the pain I could have caused in so many lives.
I thank God for the grace He's given in Jesus... He didn't have to give His only Son for me..but He did..and for that I'm thankful..
He's the reason I'm alive.
It's now Wednesday night..and I'm in hospital..
This morning I overdosed. I wasn't wanting to die..I just wanted to check out..pass out for a little while.. I now realise that it was so much more than I bargained for. And so not worth it.
It could have killed me. The enemy almost won...and I realise that now..
I love Jesus with all of my heart... I never wanted to let Him down.
As my dad took me to hospital this morning, he said to me, "I've just had a revelation.. Christians are just like other people, they struggle with all the same things... The only difference Christians have to others, is that they know they can turn to God.."
So he prayed with me....
I didn't mean to overdose to the extent I did. I regret it... I now see it was selfish and stupid of me...although it may not have seemed so at the time.
All I ask for, is that you could please pray for me...
Many of you with Bipolar will understand what the lows are like..and how impulsive we can become.. Even when we do love God.. I pray for strength for all of us.
I've realised a lot while being in here...and don't plan on this happening again.. Just lying here, with my mum asleep on the couch next to me, I realise the pain I could have caused in so many lives.
I thank God for the grace He's given in Jesus... He didn't have to give His only Son for me..but He did..and for that I'm thankful..
He's the reason I'm alive.
