Hi, I am new here. I have smoked for 8 years. I feel so alone and hopeless in this struggle. Unlike most people, I did not start when I was a kid. I started when I was 28. I was so sad and depressed and had so much rage against myself. At that time I did anything I could to harm myself because I didn't even want to live. That went on for several years until finally I just asked God to tell me if He was real and if He cared whether I lived or died. He did - and my life was never the same since! I started to want to live, I quit all my sexual sins, I stopped drinking - I lost all desire for those things! All but smoking. I still do it every day, still rely on it and still love it (while hating it at the same time). I thought that Jesus would take that desire away like He did all the others. Granted, the self-hatred took a good year of horrible mental torment where I had to scream out to God for help to not hurt myself. But that - the thing I had NO control over - is totally gone now. I have prayed and prayed and prayed to stop smoking. And I have given up on it. I don't think He will ever answer me. I read testimonies of how He just took the desire away from other people, and it makes me think there is something wrong with me that God won't help me. I feel like God does not love me if He knows that I cannot quit and yet He does not seem to answer me. I am so ashamed of smoking, and I feel I can't be close to Jesus because of it - and I so desperately want to be close to Him! Please pray for me. Thank you for listening.
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Hopeless
- Thread starter ginny2
- Start date
ladyt28
God's Grace Fills My Life
- Jun 12, 2007
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God DOES care hon! He is laying a heavy burden on your heart trying to give you the desire to quit - you don't think you'd choose to be so miserable all by yourself do ya? I am SO in your shoes when it comes to struggling!!!! I cannot even count how many times I have quit but I keep going back to quitting no matter how many times I have given in. Satan has created a HUGE addictive destructive substance with nicotine - and make no mistake that this is who is after you! DO NOT LET THE DECEIVER LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE THAT GOD DOES NOT CARE!!!!
Right now I am using the patch, Welbutrin and go to one additional web site for support. I can't find a local support group to join but I can't let that stop me. And today is my first full day of quitting - Again!
You are NOT a failure! And God Definitly loves you!!!
Right now I am using the patch, Welbutrin and go to one additional web site for support. I can't find a local support group to join but I can't let that stop me. And today is my first full day of quitting - Again!
You are NOT a failure! And God Definitly loves you!!!
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kepha31
Regular Member
I quit smoking a year ago, 2 months before my suddenly required quadruple bipass operation. A month after my heart surgery, I started smoking again because I felt so miserable and didn't care. I quit again 2 weeks and one day ago, saving $120 already. I still get cravings, but they are NOT PHYSICAL. They are psychological, a worse lie. With God's help, I can stay clean one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.
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