- Dec 15, 2005
- 34,042
- 283
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
I had posted in here several months ago, but only posted a poem explaining the night I left a really abusive relationship......I'd like to tell my story and show you all that there is hope when it seems all hope is gone. I'm living proof!
I was in an extrememly abusive 3 year relationship.
At first, things seemed like any other relationship, all the sweet nothings, the holding hands, etc..........All at once he seemed to have turned into Jekyl/Hyde........I remember him coming home one night, (we were staying with his dad, sister, brother-in-law, and brother at the time) We laid down to go to sleep and all at once, something triggered him and he put me in a headlock and tried to get me to tell him that he was my God. I was in complete shock for I had no clue what had gotten into him. He released his arm from around my neck just long enough to see if I would call him my God, and then he did it again, only holding it longer this time. Each time he put me in a headlock he held it longer and longer and longer........Finally, just as I was starting to black out, he released me and threw me backwards in disbelief that I was being so stubborn. (I HAVE ONLY ONE GOD AND THAT IS GOD HIMSELF) After this, he proceeded to rape me. After that, I was crying and he told me to stop and I couldn't so he picked me up and body slammed me to the floor. My head was the first to hit. I hit the floor so hard, it woke his sister up two rooms over. She came running and when asked what he did to me, I couldn't tell her for he was standing there telling me to keep my mouth shut and telling her that I fell............Yes, aftter that I stayed anywho..........The longer I stayed of course the worse he got.........So many countless nights of him pulling me by my hair from one end of the house to the other and then back again.....so many times being held down and choked...........I remember one night laying in the floor and when I rolled over, my ribs let out a loud POP! and then for several days it was horrible trying to move, sleep, or even breathe. My ribs did this on more than one occasion. One day, after they let out another POP! he held me down on the couch and squeezed so hard I thought my whole rib cage would break. (Still haven't figured out what moved him to do such a thing)
Countless times he'd tell me to leave and then when I'd get my things together and start toward the door, he would grab my belongings and throw them everywhere.....including me........Countless times I tried to leave on my own, same thing.....One night I walked down a steep, paved hill and just when I thought he was going to let me go this time, I almost got half-way within the hill and he ran up behind me and shoved me down......Pulled me by the hair of my head all the way back to the house.
I was made to stay in a little bitty bedroom most of the time. ESPECIALLY if a guy came over for a visit. There were times he would start an arguement that was made from his own imagination and when I would try to walk away, he would block me and then I would be locked within a room for hours. Sometimes, days.
We finally got our own place and worked on a farm together. We cut tobacco in the hot beaming 90-100degree weather from 6:00 am to 8-9 pm every day. We got paid daily, so when the boss got out of sight, he would take my money, we'd go down to the country store and buy food for the night and he'd take the rest and spend it on drugs and alcohol..........We usually made around $100 a day between us. His cousins moved in with us shortly after so they could also work on the farm and I babysat their son on the days I didn't work. Things seemed to have went smoother until one night he got all messed up and blacked my eye.......He fed people the story that the screendoor flew back and hit me.......His cousins left for they didn't want to be a part of his behaviour and there I was alone with him again. Then his brother moved in. Things really got bad then, for he was always accusing me of being with his brother in which case I wasn't. I was faithful to him. One night he got mad because he'd been out partying and I was in bed after a hard day's work and he came in at 11:00 pm and wanted me to get up and look at a stereo that he was buying off of someone..........I had just seen it the day afore..........I told him I was tired and just wanted to sleep and he kept on and on and on and on.........He called me a few choice words and went back outside and just as I was starting to drift off again he stormed in the room and turned the light on dragging me out of the bed by my hair and slapped me open handed from side to side for a good 20 minutes if not more. He shoved me into a closet door gashing my face and lip.
He drug me back and forth through the house by my hair, and slapped on me some more. His brother just stood and watched cause he was afraid of him, and finally, when he saw blood running down my face he stopped. He then went to bed and passed out. I was a mess that night. I tried so hard to clean up my face, but all hope was lost when my eyes started swelling and the bruises kept growing darker. I did however get the bleeding stopped. I had put up with 3 years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse........That was the last night I was going to put up with it. After making sure his brother was fast asleep, I got my things together VERY quietly and left...........There is a lot more to tell, but that's just the high-lights.
I had lost some of my hearing in one ear, but thanks to God I have it all back now. I lost a lot of my eyesight, but thanks to God, I now have glasses and can see better than afore.
A lot of people ask me why I stayed...well sometimes it's easier said than done. I know that some relationships are hard to get away from, but my advice is.......When you get the chance, take it for it may be the last chance you have.
For those who have gotten away from it.
It's hard getting past it and it's hard trusting someone again, but it's not impossible.
I realized that dwelling on it was only keeping me from enjoying life, so I took my experience and turned it into something positive.
I take my experience and I use it to help others. That is ONE good thing that did come out of it.
I keep all of you in my prayers,
's and 
es!!
I was in an extrememly abusive 3 year relationship.
At first, things seemed like any other relationship, all the sweet nothings, the holding hands, etc..........All at once he seemed to have turned into Jekyl/Hyde........I remember him coming home one night, (we were staying with his dad, sister, brother-in-law, and brother at the time) We laid down to go to sleep and all at once, something triggered him and he put me in a headlock and tried to get me to tell him that he was my God. I was in complete shock for I had no clue what had gotten into him. He released his arm from around my neck just long enough to see if I would call him my God, and then he did it again, only holding it longer this time. Each time he put me in a headlock he held it longer and longer and longer........Finally, just as I was starting to black out, he released me and threw me backwards in disbelief that I was being so stubborn. (I HAVE ONLY ONE GOD AND THAT IS GOD HIMSELF) After this, he proceeded to rape me. After that, I was crying and he told me to stop and I couldn't so he picked me up and body slammed me to the floor. My head was the first to hit. I hit the floor so hard, it woke his sister up two rooms over. She came running and when asked what he did to me, I couldn't tell her for he was standing there telling me to keep my mouth shut and telling her that I fell............Yes, aftter that I stayed anywho..........The longer I stayed of course the worse he got.........So many countless nights of him pulling me by my hair from one end of the house to the other and then back again.....so many times being held down and choked...........I remember one night laying in the floor and when I rolled over, my ribs let out a loud POP! and then for several days it was horrible trying to move, sleep, or even breathe. My ribs did this on more than one occasion. One day, after they let out another POP! he held me down on the couch and squeezed so hard I thought my whole rib cage would break. (Still haven't figured out what moved him to do such a thing)
Countless times he'd tell me to leave and then when I'd get my things together and start toward the door, he would grab my belongings and throw them everywhere.....including me........Countless times I tried to leave on my own, same thing.....One night I walked down a steep, paved hill and just when I thought he was going to let me go this time, I almost got half-way within the hill and he ran up behind me and shoved me down......Pulled me by the hair of my head all the way back to the house.
I was made to stay in a little bitty bedroom most of the time. ESPECIALLY if a guy came over for a visit. There were times he would start an arguement that was made from his own imagination and when I would try to walk away, he would block me and then I would be locked within a room for hours. Sometimes, days.
We finally got our own place and worked on a farm together. We cut tobacco in the hot beaming 90-100degree weather from 6:00 am to 8-9 pm every day. We got paid daily, so when the boss got out of sight, he would take my money, we'd go down to the country store and buy food for the night and he'd take the rest and spend it on drugs and alcohol..........We usually made around $100 a day between us. His cousins moved in with us shortly after so they could also work on the farm and I babysat their son on the days I didn't work. Things seemed to have went smoother until one night he got all messed up and blacked my eye.......He fed people the story that the screendoor flew back and hit me.......His cousins left for they didn't want to be a part of his behaviour and there I was alone with him again. Then his brother moved in. Things really got bad then, for he was always accusing me of being with his brother in which case I wasn't. I was faithful to him. One night he got mad because he'd been out partying and I was in bed after a hard day's work and he came in at 11:00 pm and wanted me to get up and look at a stereo that he was buying off of someone..........I had just seen it the day afore..........I told him I was tired and just wanted to sleep and he kept on and on and on and on.........He called me a few choice words and went back outside and just as I was starting to drift off again he stormed in the room and turned the light on dragging me out of the bed by my hair and slapped me open handed from side to side for a good 20 minutes if not more. He shoved me into a closet door gashing my face and lip.
He drug me back and forth through the house by my hair, and slapped on me some more. His brother just stood and watched cause he was afraid of him, and finally, when he saw blood running down my face he stopped. He then went to bed and passed out. I was a mess that night. I tried so hard to clean up my face, but all hope was lost when my eyes started swelling and the bruises kept growing darker. I did however get the bleeding stopped. I had put up with 3 years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse........That was the last night I was going to put up with it. After making sure his brother was fast asleep, I got my things together VERY quietly and left...........There is a lot more to tell, but that's just the high-lights.
I had lost some of my hearing in one ear, but thanks to God I have it all back now. I lost a lot of my eyesight, but thanks to God, I now have glasses and can see better than afore.
A lot of people ask me why I stayed...well sometimes it's easier said than done. I know that some relationships are hard to get away from, but my advice is.......When you get the chance, take it for it may be the last chance you have.
For those who have gotten away from it.
It's hard getting past it and it's hard trusting someone again, but it's not impossible. I realized that dwelling on it was only keeping me from enjoying life, so I took my experience and turned it into something positive.
I take my experience and I use it to help others. That is ONE good thing that did come out of it.
I keep all of you in my prayers,
's and es!!
