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3xblsd

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Hi, I am new and was looking through threads and maybe you can guide me in the right direction. One of my dearest friends has BPD. Her DD died in a car wreck in June and that brought on a manic episode. SHe showed no signs before this. Her DH and several friends had her in a hospital where she stayed for 7 days. Once out, she decided she does not need meds and off she took. First to a beach condo she bought the week befoer and then to a mountain condo she and her DH previously had. To keep it short she has left her previous life for a new one. Leaving her two younger children and DH on their own. She has many many friends and we all want to help, she has gotten angry at some of us with threats to call 911, me included, if we go near her children (I used to drive them to school) she is now saying she is flying to california to sue the map co that made the map her DD used when she had her accident. I guess my question is: how much of what she says she is gonna do and buy will she do? If she says she booked a cruise for 25 is that true? Also, can you tell me ANYTHING we can do to get her help and home and back with her two remaining children....needless to say this is the hardest, saddest thing I have ever done, she has been a friend for over 11 years.....any help or guidence would be appreciated...thank you!!
 

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PRAY!!!!!!

God is bigger than any illness. Sometimes the riggers are so big and so hard that it is easier to flee than to face them. Hard to say what she will follow thru with and what she won't, but the reality of this illness is that at some point the high ends and you come crashing down. That is one of the most dangerous times.

I am not sure that there is any advice to give you as someone in denial and off meds can often not be helped until they are ready to be and it hurts everyone involved.
 
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3xblsd

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It really does hurt. I have tried and tried to make some sort of conversation, and she will have nothing to do with me. According to her, we (all her old adult friends) are in need of therapy and are very very sick and should be in a hospital. She emails her DHs job daily saying he is suicidal, crazy, etc. She is responsive to the young kids that were friends with her DD, but she is telling them tales and they are so confused. She is almost trying to be one of them. thanks for listening and offering advice....
 
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I am praying as well. May God comfort you all during this most difficult time. It must be so scary for her to face this loss that she has retreated to the world of insanity too find safety and yet it is not safe either. . .so along with the all the concern and fears and pain. . . it is all so confusing for those of us of deep faith to try and grasp that somehow God is here and at work and cares very deeply about what is happen to each and every one of you. But hold onto that truth thru whatever comes, for it is true. Know you are in my prayers, as is every one involved in this situation.
 
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angelkiss

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Hi and welcome to the forum. :wave:

I once got in over my head with a stressful situation and I took off to TX from KY with someone I hardly knew. I was gone two months afore anyone knew where I was. Long story short, a cop ran my plates and found that a missing person report came up and he told me about it. I had to go to the police station and talk to the head of missing persons here in KY and he told me I was just two days away from being presumed dead. I suddenly snapped into reality. For two months, I had glided through and not realized what damage I had done. (Til that night) Even after finding my way back home and having to face a lot of questions, I had no answers. I had snapped and I couldn't explain what had happened. The first two months, when no one had a clue, even I didn't have a clue, for it was like a blur to me.
After that, even when it seemed that things were fine, I would up and leave everything in my life to make a new start. No warning, no explanation, I even surprised myself. I was trying to run from my life, but always found that I followed myself no matter where I'd go. It got me in a lot of sticky and dangerous situations.
For me personally, I had to get to the point of actually accepting that I couldn't do things on my own. I had to get help. I also had to want the help. At first, I wasn't really that committed to treatment for I was so used to doing things on my own. But, I knew I had to do things I didn't really want to in order to get better. And I wanted nothing more than to get better.
My prayers are with you and your friend.
:hug:s and :angel::kiss:es!!
 
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3xblsd

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thank you ALL for your kind words. I am guessing that there is nothing that we as friends and family can do. She stays about 200 miles away and as I mentioned will not speak to any of her adult friends. Is there anything we could suggest to the college students to say to her that might make her seek help. Right now she tells them she is fine, that Jesus, God, and Danielle (her deceased DD) are telling her what to do and nobody will listen to them but her. The college kids that she talks to listen, but are not really sure how to respond. We are all afraid that she will hurt herself or others. She drives wherever at all hours and goes on such little sleep and food. Is there a Magic word that she might respond to???
 
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And quit frankly the rule of thumb is the higher the mania the deeper the crash in to depression. Manias and any cycling can very from person to person. There are some general rules of thumb in the range of months/season, but they can persist for longer. It is indeed unpredictable, I am sorry to say.


As for you other question ab out what to say TO HELP-THERE IS REALLY NO MAGIC WORD. THEY HAVE TO WANT HELP TO HEAR ABOUT THE NEED FOR IT. . . (SORRY AND SORRY FOR THE CAPS i AM TOO TIRED TO CHANGE IT)
 
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3xblsd

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I truly appreciate you all sharing with me. I just feel like if I can possibly understand what she is thinking and feeling, then maybe I can help her. I feel like whenever I try, she just gets angry. No need to apologize about the caps, I usually do not notice when things are written that way. Again, thank you for letting me share your forum and please continue any words of advice to me or some to pass on to her DH...
 
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