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Hooray! Today marks the official one year anniversary of my baptism and membership at church!
Just thought I'd share. . .
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Erinwilcox said:Hooray! Today marks the official one year anniversary of my baptism and membership at church!Just thought I'd share. . .
Erinwilcox said:Hooray! Today marks the official one year anniversary of my baptism and membership at church!Just thought I'd share. . .
Yes, and don't forget...cubanito said:hey erin
thats great
but....
We Presbys do not celebrate, we commemorate and commisurate, so please stop w the hooray and wipe off the grin. It is unseemly.
JR
Calvinist Dark Lord said:Yes, and don't forget...
- Both our sermons and our forks must have five points.
- If you cut us we would not bleed because it would be forbidden by the book of Order.
- Attendance during at least one Wednsday night heretic burning per month is compulsary.
- Grape juice is heretical.
Certainly. We only request that one brings their own kindling, kerosine, and marshmellows. Roasting twiggs will be provided. Hearing protection is recommended because screams of agony are known to reach levels of 140dB.arunma said:This is the closest anyone's come to convincing me to leave the Reformed Baptist tradition for the nearest Presbyterian church.
Let me get this straight...free admission to heretic-burnings!?![]()
Grape juice is heretical
pjw said::=( all my forks only have four points.
but i don't mind, it's not theologically significant anyway.
disclaimer: everything written from here to the end of this post is only nonsense, please don't take it seriously. erin and i are good friends, and i'm only kidding. :=) :=P ;=)
unfortunately, the burning of heretics also extends to all those who deny the efficacy and necessity of infant baptism in the Church, so, Erin, I'm afraid, tomorrow being Wednesday, you will be burned at the stake. we will not burn you without a trial, you can be sure that all the SR bishops [bishops who side with you will not take part in the trial] will be keenly hanging on every word you say, to pounce on it as an opportunity for a just and Scripturally warranted burning. i expect that all SR members will be present to witness this occasion, please bring kindling for the fire, as well as the heretical books supporting this heretical opinion of infant baptism.
expect that i will be up very early tomorrow morning for this great and momentous occasion...
i am of course the convenor of the trial and one of those trying you.
might repeat the charges for the sake of clarity...
1. You are charged with accepting the London Baptist Confession, which speaks of baptism as a sign. I expect that you will fully be able to answer for this conviction, and show that you do not believe this heretical opinion, but rather that you hold to the true doctrine that the sacraments "represent, seal, and apply" the benefits of redemption to believers.
2. you are charged with holding to the heretical opinion that baptism is not to be given to infants, when anyone plainly reading Scripture can see that this is the clear teaching of Scripture.
any other heretical opinions that the bishops have picked up in your writings will be plainly brought out for all to see. we do expect that you will be able to mount a competent and adequate defence of your position, and that a few hours on the rack will bring you around to the reformed catholic point of view.
expect the trial to start at 9am sharp AEST, i might even start a new thread just for the purpose.
any SR member wishing to take part may do so, provided they themselves are not of baptist persuasion.
:=D :=) :=P
disclaimer: everything written from line 6 of this post to here is only nonsense, please don't take it seriously. erin and i are good friends, and i'm only kidding.
finally, the heretic trial is not actually taking place, so don't expect me here at 9am aest
for that arch-heresy, they will be hung till half-dead, slow burnt till nearly dead, then drawn and quartered.Congratulations, you heretic. Well, at least you're not like some of my friends at college, who have been triple-dipped (and by that, I mean, three different baptisms at different times).
I confess that I, too, was baptized as a believer, by immersion, going on two years ago. So I'll be joining you on the stake. Thus, I can really say I'm commiserating.![]()
arunma said:Wait...so as a Reformed Baptist, do I get to be a heretic too?