Hook me in 20 words or less

[Christianfantasy]

One of the other writing sites I belong to [Absoutewrite] has a very interesting and fun writing exercise going called 'Hook me in 20 words or less'. The object is to create a one line opener designed to grab a reader's attention, and make them really, REALLY want to read more. It's good practice to come up with short, catchy first liners, because slow or boring openers are common problems for unpublished authors. So I thought we could try it here, at CF, providing anyone is interested. To start off, here is an opener I thought up:

“I’m not a vampire,” Alia drawled, with a lazy smile. “I just have unnaturally long incisors…that’s all.”

 

[wildApple]

hmm, let me try...

Daniel stood at the corner of an old rickety inn on the outskirts of London, a shadow in the shadows.

lol, that is hard!

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

We rounded the corner to see a mob of purple eyes staring at us. What were these things.

 

[NeoScribe]

The entire palace shook as the Grand Tal stormed, bellowed, and roared in the royal quaters.

 

[J3sus Is My L0rd]

"No.... it can't be." How had he found her? After all these years of silence, here he was. She screamed.

Be blessed †

 

[Lindon Tinuviel]

At twenty past three, when every window in the BB Diner exploded outward, I was already running for my life.

 

[Christianfantasy]

These are some great opening lines! I laughed out loud on a couple of them. They are very creative--especially the purple eyes.

Here is another one I thought up:


Tasha had always dreamed, when she fell in love, it would be with a dashing man…not a three-eyed space alien.

 

[jelvenko]

We had to do this as a creative writing assignment for English class when I was in high school... I loved it!!!


The footsteps echoed through the empty corridor, his fear keeping him going....

 

[Lessien]

"I'm chasing life, running after it and never catching it, and I'm happier than I've ever been."

 

[Buskanaka]

They said it would be easier after the first. They lied.

 

[CelticRose]

''I wouldn't, Ari. Really. Diar will kill you.''

 

[Christianfantasy]

Wow, the creativity of CF writers is amazing! I have enjoyed reading every single one of these opening lines so much, I wish there were twice as many. Perhaps for variety we could change the rules, and make it:

Hook me in 30 words or less.

Here is my opener in that category:

Taz realized, as he fell past masses of brain-eating orchids on one side and swarms of whiptail wyverns on the other, that he believed in God after all.

 

[cassie121]

Life is an adventure. You never know what's around the corner. To bad my adventure is over.

 

[Becky153]

If only the past couldn't haunt the future. If only the fogs of the past could lift. My life--ruined.

 

[Jeriel]

LOL hey this looks like fun! I love these kinds of things.

30 words or less:

This road is long. Fate ne'er told me it would be like this; yet if I had been warned, who am I to say I would have come this far?

 

[sunstruckdream]

Christianfantasy's first one, in the first post, was FANTASTIC, might I say.

My turn:

"No!" I shrieked, my voice rasping like acid in my shriveled throat. "Kill me! COME BACK! KILL ME!"

 

[Windlord]

Derrick woke with a start. He could feel the sweat soaked sheets stuck to his body. His arms trembled horribly.

 

[Becky153]

I never understood the implications that had taken place when I had said the word "yes." The word ended me.

 

[Lessien]

"Artificial cybernetic mutation is for yellowbellies!"

 

[Christianfantasy]

The talent on this thread continues to amaze me. I'm so glad I didn't offer to pick a favorite; I could never do it--too many of them are great!

Sunstruck dream, I was hoping you would post an entry. It made me wonder just as much about what had happened before the lines as what was going to happen after! Thanks for your compliment also; coming from you, it meant a lot to me.