Honoring parents when there are problems and issues

[ClearPerspective]

Why should people have to honour parents that abuse, or have abused them?

 

[Tinker Grey]

They shouldn't.

 

[ClearPerspective]

They shouldn't.

Thank you. Trying to follow that commandment with my circumstances messed with my head so much.

 

[Tinker Grey]

Thank you. Trying to follow that commandment with my circumstances messed with my head so much.

It's almost as bad as "love your enemies".

 

[ClearPerspective]

It's almost as bad as "love your enemies".

Yes, can't say ive met anyone who.has honestly succeeded.

 

[ClearPerspective]

It's almost as bad as "love your enemies".

Thank you for posting! I really appreciate it. I couldn't stop swearing because it's been so crazy trying to follow these commands . I think I officially just lost faith in the Bible as a guide to God.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

You should honor them as your parents because that is what they are. Not necessarily for the things they've done to you. The Bible also tells people to honor those in leadership over you, even those who are evil. And pray for them. That is supposed to be a defining characteristic that sets believers apart from others, is their ability to honor those who mistreat them. Rising above circumstances that others would succumb to. Why does God let abuse like that happen? I've no clue, but I know the things you've experienced you can use to help others who may be in or have come from similar experiences. That in itself is a blessing, being able to rise above and make something good out of something evil. But honoring your parents has nothing to do with if they are good or bad. And like loving your enemies you are to be an example to those who would mistreat you, to show them God's grace and forgiveness by your good conduct.

 

[ClearPerspective]

You should honor them as your parents because that is what they are. Not necessarily for the things they've done to you. The Bible also tells people to honor those in leadership over you, even those who are evil. And pray for them. That is supposed to be a defining characteristic that sets believers apart from others, is their ability to honor those who mistreat them. Rising above circumstances that others would succumb to. Why does God let abuse like that happen? I've no clue, but I know the things you've experienced you can use to help others who may be in or have come from similar experiences. That in itself is a blessing, being able to rise above and make something good out of something evil. But honoring your parents has nothing to do with if they are good or bad. And like loving your enemies you are to be an example to those who would mistreat you, to show them God's grace and forgiveness by your good conduct.

Have you had to do this or done this yourself ?

(Actually you could argue that they failed as parents and in their duty of care towards you )

 

[Blade]

Why should people have to honour parents that abuse, or have abused them?

My dad who was my step dad since I was about 3 was mean as in come after you with a board and no matter how much you scream keeps coming. He had 6 kids before marrying my mom and they had nothing to do with him. Allot more to this but when I was about 14-15 in Church one day the grandmother that had a bible study (she prayed 4h a day) said I need to tell my dad I am sorry. She was crying when she came up for she knew how he was. Made me cry..me say sorry to him? So that next week on night I was watching TV with my Dad and I looked at the clock above the TV showed 8:30pm so I look at my dad and say "will you forgive me for ever hurting you" he looks back says "yes will you forgive me"

So I call Jean the next day (no cell phones back then) and told her I did it. Her words "was it about 8:30 when you asked him?" I said yes how did you know?" She said "the lord told me to pray for you right then".

God was after his heart. I had to say sorry for what? All this ties to what why Christ died for the world. Did he get saved later on? Yes he did. Out of 7 kids in his life his words "out of all my kids I feel closer to you". I just forgave him. That love only comes from Christ. This can be hard for some to see and understand.

 

[ClearPerspective]

My dad who was my step dad since I was about 3 was mean as in come after you with a board and no matter how much you scream keeps coming. He had 6 kids before marrying my mom and they had nothing to do with him. Allot more to this but when I was about 14-15 in Church one day the grandmother that had a bible study (she prayed 4h a day) said I need to tell my dad I am sorry. She was crying when she came up for she knew how he was. Made me cry..me say sorry to him? So that next week on night I was watching TV with my Dad and I looked at the clock above the TV showed 8:30pm so I look at my dad and say "will you forgive me for ever hurting you" he looks back says "yes will you forgive me"

So I call Jean the next day (no cell phones back then) and told her I did it. Her words "was it about 8:30 when you asked him?" I said yes how did you know?" She said "the lord told me to pray for you right then".

God was after his heart. I had to say sorry for what? All this ties to what why Christ died for the world. Did he get saved later on? Yes he did. Out of 7 kids in his life his words "out of all my kids I feel closer to you". I just forgave him. That love only comes from Christ. This can be hard for some to see and understand.

Hi, Ive read what you've said, however, I think if I had the holy spirit that they went.
I tried over and over but I had three parental figures to deal with.

 

[Unqualified]

We’re you ever a Christian- born again, received His love, forgiven?

Did you try to love them, change them with the love of God?
Most people who act like them have no love, are lost to God.
Some people can’t be reached, but it sounds like you allowed them to take your joy and faith. Two bad apples, but your going to meet a whole lot more and without Christ.

if you want the goodness of God to be proven to you you are agnostic. But you will probably never get enough because you are outside and not looking for His good. Are you going to be a big tough guy or a lover of men’s souls like Jesus was? A fisher of men. Someone who cares and loves or bitter at God.

 

[IceJad]

Yes, can't say ive met anyone who.has honestly succeeded.

I have. I had a guy whom I personally can't stand and him me. We ended up being friends. People change over the years. I wouldn't say love as in best friend kind of way. But we can ask each other out for drinks now and again. Good friends.

I have the opposite happen as well. From a close friend we became enemy. Long story and I wish not relive it.

 

[IceJad]

Why should people have to honour parents that abuse, or have abused them?

Really depends on the situation.

Some parents do change overtime. Some wants to make amends. Are you going to hold on to that hate even after they turn over a new leaf?

Some parents remained bad till the bitter end.

Your statement is just to devoid of nuance to have a definite answer.

 

[IceJad]

It's almost as bad as "love your enemies".

So you don't believe in second chances? One of America strongest ally in the world is Japan who just 80 years ago were bitter enemies.

 

[ClearPerspective]

Ok, so maybe I was too quick. However, I think there is a wrong teaching of unconditional forgiveness.

I'm sorry God for being critical, getting angry and swearing. I'm not sure what to do next.

 

[Robban]

Why should people have to honour parents that abuse, or have abused them?

It is more an acknowlegement of the fact that concerning ones biological father and mother, they are co-creaters.

Because of them one comes into the world.

It does not mean one must adore them.

One does not have to follow their example in everything.

Example
Ezekiel 18:14-18.

 

[Tinker Grey]

So you don't believe in second chances? One of America strongest ally in the world is Japan who just 80 years ago were bitter enemies.

One would need to define the words 'love' and 'enemy'. An enemy is not simply the slightly rude person at work. And, love isn't simply be nice.

The prey doesn't love the predator. One does not send Valentine's day cards to one's rapist.

 

[J_B_]

One would need to define the words 'love' and 'enemy'. An enemy is not simply the slightly rude person at work. And, love isn't simply be nice.

The prey doesn't love the predator. One does not send Valentine's day cards to one's rapist.

All true, but I don't think that invalidates the verse you're referencing, as the contextual use of these words seems to be constantly shifting as this discussion proceeds.

 

[Enilorac]

My mother was an abusive witch. She was a narcissist, a bitter woman who pretty much hated me. I STILL took care of her for the last 7 years of her life. I paid for it though. She tried to alienate my children, caused me physical harm (between her going limp when I'd lift her to pinching, punching, scratching, digging her nails into me, pulling my hair, it's a miracle I didn't snap), tried to get in the middle of my marriage, told all her friends lies to make me look like the bad guy. I didn't shed a tear when she finally died, but I have a clear conscience.

 

[The happy Objectivist]

Why should people have to honour parents that abuse, or have abused them?

They shouldn't.