Homosexuals Adopting

[glittereve]

Hello to everyone!

I'm writing a paper on homosexuals adopting. It's a paper more about the discourse on it and not my personal opinion so I would like to hear your views on this subject.

Thank you very much for all that post their views

 

[nolongerhome]

Two loving parents is good. One loving parent is also good. One unloving parent is not good, nor are two unloving parents.

It doesn't matter what gender those parents are, the above statements will be found to be true.

 

[keith99]

I think it is an area that raises it's own unique questions. Come to think of it the biggest question is very similar to those that are raised with the very very wealthy adapting. E.g. making sure they really want a child as opposed to a showitem.

At the most this is an additional 10% of questions. The vast majority of questions about fitness of parents apply to all those who might adapt.

I know many gay men well enough to say that IF they chose to adapt they would be excellent parents. For the ones I have in mind the question is if they so chose, it would not be a decision they would take lightly.

 

[glittereve]

Thank you for your replies so far!

Just to let others know I will not post your username in my paper, nor will I quote you without asking you first. I'm just here to get some general views and opinions from everyone.

 

[quatona]

Hello to everyone!

I'm writing a paper on homosexual adoption. It's a paper more about the discourse on it and not my personal opinion so I would like to hear your views on this subject.

Thank you very much for all that post their views

Whilst I very much would like to see the standards for parenting (and this, of course, includes adopting parents) raised, I don´t think that the sexual orientation of the parents (natural or adopting) is of any significance for their parenting abilities.

 

[Spirit_Star]

Two loving parents is good. One loving parent is also good. One unloving parent is not good, nor are two unloving parents.

It doesn't matter what gender those parents are, the above statements will be found to be true.

I fully agree.

I did a research paper on Gay adoption some years ago and what I found was that often time’s gays who adopt were willing to take children that are deemed hard to place, older kids, non-white, children with aids, crack babies, and children with special needs. etc That is not to say I think gays should only be stuck with special needs kids. I do think it says they just want to be parents and give a home, love and stability to a child(ren) that truly needs it.


I know Rosie O several years ago was working with a gay couple back when Florida did not allow Gay adoption but allowed them to be foster parents. I remember the gay couple had this little boy since he was an infant it was possible he might have Aids virus. Well what a shock no one wanted this little boy when they thought he might have the aids virus. Yet this Gay couple loved this child aids or no aids. It turned out he did not have the virus to give him to a straight couple who wouldn’t have wanted him had he had this diseases of no fault of his own (through the biological mother) imo is just wrong.


There are a lot of children in this world that are in the foster care system (waiting child) or in an orphanage. This kids need at least one loving parent and home that is going to give them stability if someone can give that I dont think their sexual orientation should be a factor.

For those who oppose Gays adoption are this people going to go out and adopt a few kids that need homes? In most cases they are not. According to Dave Thomas foundation of the roughly 510,000 kids in foster care, roughly 129,000 of them are available for adoptions. About 1 out of 5 children who are available to be adopted will age out of the system (at 18) with out having been adopted.

 

[Fantine]

As I understand it, all prospective adoptive parents, whether married, single, or partnered, have to undergo extensive home visits and studies and get references and recommendations.

If there is a shortage of adoptive homes and a surplus of children available for adoption (including hard-to-place children) then I think it is our duty as a society to allow all those who pass the home studies to adopt. Where a potential parent is single or part of a gay partnership, the home study should see how the applicants plan on providing loving role models who are of a different sex than the parents.

As in interracial adoptions, where white families are asked whether they will help their child to establish his/her racial identity through their own interracial friendships and community relationships, gay applicants should be asked whether they have a network of heterosexual friends who will help their child, if straight (and the odds are likely that he/she will be), to feel that sense of cultural identity as well.

Gay adoptive parents and single unattached adoptive parents may not be "ideal" but they are certainly more ideal than insecure years spent in foster care.

 

[Nathan45]

I basically agree with what Fantine said.

 

[Steezie]

The issue seems, to me, to be quite simple.

1. There is no reliable research to suggest that being raised by gay parents is a developmental handicap. I've been quoted statistics before that say that teenagers or children of gay parents experience more depression and mental anxiety than children of straight parents. On it's own, that statement means very little other than being a teenager sucks and having society treat you like crap for having minority parents adds to it. Everything we can put together, both from solid research and anecdotal information suggests that it's the quality of the parenting that is of utmost importance, not the number or gender of parents.

2. We dont prohibit single parents from raising children, instead we tend to praise and support single parents as a society. This indicated that we, as a society, dont actually have a problem with single-gender parenting. If we did, then we would prohibit single parents from being parents. This suggests we have more of a problem with the gay part than we do about lacking in one gender or another.

3. With 1 and 2 in mind, we can extrapolate that the prohibition of gay people adopting is not based off of logical conclusions or concerns and can be safely discarded.

 

[cantata]

People, please. It is not gay adoption. It is not homosexual adoption. It is adoption by a same-sex couple.

 

[Archer93]

As I understand it, all prospective adoptive parents, whether married, single, or partnered, have to undergo extensive home visits and studies and get references and recommendations.

If there is a shortage of adoptive homes and a surplus of children available for adoption (including hard-to-place children) then I think it is our duty as a society to allow all those who pass the home studies to adopt. Where a potential parent is single or part of a gay partnership, the home study should see how the applicants plan on providing loving role models who are of a different sex than the parents.

As in interracial adoptions, where white families are asked whether they will help their child to establish his/her racial identity through their own interracial friendships and community relationships, gay applicants should be asked whether they have a network of heterosexual friends who will help their child, if straight (and the odds are likely that he/she will be), to feel that sense of cultural identity as well.

Gay adoptive parents and single unattached adoptive parents may not be "ideal" but they are certainly more ideal than insecure years spent in foster care.

Agreed.
I would also say that a same-sex couple with a wide network of friends and family would provide a better cultural environment than an isolated opposite-sex couple with no surviving relatives or close friends.
It won't affect their ability to be good parents, but a wide range of good examples and a strong support network is certainly useful for all concerned.

Additional thought- people who adopt actively want to bring up a child and have demonstrated a willingness to make the necessary sacrifices. They will have to carefully consider every stage in a child's life.
Same-sex or opposite-sex, it's a good start to parenting.

 

[alexamasan]

A same-sex couple can be just as good parents as opposite-sex couples no matter what situation. The real reason really I think many people may have concern is that the children perhaps will have a tendency to be homosexual. Of course they've done studies and the children all turn out to be just like any other child.

We all do realize that pretty much all the homosexuals in the world were raised by an opposite-sex couple. If you want to prevent homosexuality, perhaps you should try and get heterosexual marriage banned

 

[levi501]

A same-sex couple should have as much right to adopt as an opposite-sex couple.
It is not less ideal. Those that make this claim should offer compelling support or retract it.

 

[keith99]

A same-sex couple should have as much right to adopt as an opposite-sex couple.
It is not less ideal. Those that make this claim should offer compelling support or retract it.

Tell me what part of the country first. Historically children have been toremented by their peers because of having just one living parent. I am convinced that in some areas a child would suffer, through no fault of their own or the parents because of having 2 parents of the same sex. This is real and should be considered. Of course there are other areas where it is no consideration at all.

Same holds for mixed race couples in some areas, though there if the child is mixed race then the child is going to have that problem in in those areas no matter what.

Personally if I were gay and in such an area I'd be trying to get myself elsewhere anyway. That said I'd say these are likely the same areas where gays have a nearly impossible time adapting anyway.

 

[glittereve]

Tell me what part of the country first. Historically children have been toremented by their peers because of having just one living parent. I am convinced that in some areas a child would suffer, through no fault of their own or the parents because of having 2 parents of the same sex. This is real and should be considered. Of course there are other areas where it is no consideration at all.

Same holds for mixed race couples in some areas, though there if the child is mixed race then the child is going to have that problem in in those areas no matter what.

Personally if I were gay and in such an area I'd be trying to get myself elsewhere anyway. That said I'd say these are likely the same areas where gays have a nearly impossible time adapting anyway.

I noticed that in your two posts that you say "adapt" instead of "adopt" is that a typo or do you mean "adapt"?

Just a little confused

 

[cantata]

Tell me what part of the country first. Historically children have been toremented by their peers because of having just one living parent. I am convinced that in some areas a child would suffer, through no fault of their own or the parents because of having 2 parents of the same sex. This is real and should be considered.

I think it should be considered by the couple, for sure, but not by the state.

 

[jcook922]

People, please. It is not gay adoption. It is not homosexual adoption. It is adoption by a same-sex couple.

Same thing really. No need to mince words.

I agree with most of the folks in this thread, orientation doesn't mean squat. Not sure what Keith means about it being drastically worse to have one parent though. My dad died when I was relatively young and I never was teased about it, not once in my life. I never got teased about my black step-dad either.

 

[brightmorningstar]

To glittereve,
Thanks for your OP and thread question. I say this especially in the light of perceived intimidation over this issue.
The California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) published a special issue of their bi-monthly journal “The Therapist” dedicated to the subject of same-sex marriage. Guest authors were asked to contribute articles, half of the writers in support and half opposed to same-sex marriage. A stated goal of the issue was to determine whether the organization should adopt a formal position on the matter.
So someone who might be genuinley open minded about this is very welcome.

Its about same sex couples adopting rather than homosexuals adopting, as has been pointed out, this is because a homosexual man and a homosexual woman could adopt as a couple, and indeed under such an arrangement I suggest many who would disagree with same sex couples adopting, might agree that this is much better.
Its not about the sexual attraction of the couple but the sex of the couple.


As a Christian I would point out God's purpose is for man and woman to produce and raise children so same sex couples are error. However I would overall say this.

A same sex couple cannot conceive and produce a child so compared with a man and woman neither nature nor God has designed a one sex couple to produce and raise children.
With a man and woman, the child, whatever sex will always have both a male and female parent to raise it, whereas with a same sex couple it will never have a male and female.

The issue about love is a completly different issue, either combination could be considered loving or not loving so its irrelevant as love is a requirement whatever.

Now my view is also that some single people adopt and there have been same sex couples such as two sisters who have adopted. So the problem isnt just two people of the same sex but where two people of the same sex consider themselves equal with a man and woman couple they are outside the reality of why there are two sexes to reproduce in the first place. Such unbalanced and dysfunctional thinking is not good for the child.

 

[jayem]

The issue about love is a completly different issue, either combination could be considered loving or not loving so its irrelevant as love is a requirement whatever.

But the quality of the parents' relationship is critically important. If they show love, devotion, and respect towards each other, the children will absorb that. But if the parents' relationship is cold, distant, argumentative, disrespectful, or worse, abusive, then a child will have to overcome a terrible lesson in how adults behave. It certainly could warp his future relationships. You're entitled to your opinion, but I think this is far more important than the sex of the parents. I'd say a loving, committed same sex couple would provide a much better environment for well-adjusted children than an undevoted, unloving man and woman.

 

[levi501]

Tell me what part of the country first. Historically children have been toremented by their peers because of having just one living parent. I am convinced that in some areas a child would suffer, through no fault of their own or the parents because of having 2 parents of the same sex. This is real and should be considered. Of course there are other areas where it is no consideration at all.

Should we not have integrated white schools because black kids would suffer?