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Sorry, and not to sound rude, but if you want to go and participate in something that God condemns, go right ahead. I know where God stands on homosexuality, and I have to take that stand, too. To attend something I disagree with and that is foul and ungodly would be hypocrisy.
I can't see Jesus and Mary attending the wedding at Cana between a same sex couple. Can you?
My brother is a homosexual. Not only is he just a homosexual, but he is a proudly practicing homosexual. In all honesty, he's the stereotype. He claims not to be an atheist, but he's also not sure what he believes in. When I try to share Jesus with him, he wants nothing to do with it; he actually often makes a mockery of it. For example, we were having a discussion today, and I said that this life is only temporary; it's only a stepping stone to our eternal destination. His reply was, "Well, I hope I'm high as f*** when I get there!"
That leads me to this issue. Today he asked me if I would be willing to be his best man at his wedding. I told him that I couldn't do that, and he knows why I couldn't. He asked if I would attend at all, and I told him that it would be dishonest of me to attend, and that I would feel too convicted about attending. I told him that I'm sorry, and I asked him to understand where I was coming from. He told me that he will never accept that apology, he will never see things my way, and he began to get really angry. We hung up the phone on awkward terms.
What am I supposed to do? I can't be his best man. I can't attend his wedding. He refuses to understand why, and will never accept my apology. My brother and I are close.
Not to derail, but I wanted to ask ... and you don't have to answer if you don't wish to of course ... have you ever tried to trade places with someone whom you thought was going to go to hell ? IOW, there was a person you thought was going to go to hell for whatever reason, and so that they wouldn't go to hell and/or suffer, you stood in the gap to the degree that you offered your very life and eternal standing so that they may go free and not suffer ... free as in, FREE. Even if they took the gift you offered them and threw it on the ground, you still did this out of love for them, or whatever your reasons ? Just curious. I'm not being rhetorical, I'm being serious.How could you apologize for hoping to save your brothers soul?
He won't understand because he is comfortable in his sin. And like all sinners it feels good, it feels right.
You are reminding him that it is not. Rather than condone his desire to send himself straight to Hell, you love him enough not to tolerate the abomination of a gay mockery of marriage that officiates his pride in being a sinner who, if he dies the moment of his vows completion, is damned for all eternity.
That you stay strong in your faith will weigh on your brother. And who knows, when you aren't there on what he sees as his special day you'll perhaps influence him to change his ways.
May God's strength hold you to the path you've chosen in this regard. It takes a lot of faith to hold to scripture in the midst of something like this with family. When you know he's so wrong in what he's doing you stand as a role model. Whether he knows that now or not.
God bless you.And may God be with your brother as well. That his heart open to the truth of the Lord.
That's horrific. I did not experience that, however I experienced a different set of horrors.Alright. So apparently I need to throw the whole story out here. Some on CF know. I will, however, keep it brief and keep many of the nasty details out of it.
My brother and I were raised in an abusive household. Our stepfather sexually, physically, and emotionally abused us. I personally was physically abused far more than my brother was, but unknown to me at the time, my brother was being sexually abused daily; which involved penetration, oral sex, and my stepfather web-camming with ladies behind my mother's back while my brother sat under his desk and took care of him, if you will. The only time I was sexually abused, was when I was maybe 5 or 6, and my brother was 4 or 5. My stepfather made my brother give me oral sex while I gave my stepfather oral sex.
There's a lot more to it, but that's all we're getting into.
Eventually my brother came out as gay, and I was made aware of all the sexual abuse that happened that was unknown to me. He said he was probably gay because of everything that happened. He simply has zero attraction to females. My brother ultimately went to worldy route, and I the Christian route. We are the best of friends, I completely accept him for who he is, and I never condemn nor judge him. I meet and become friends with his boyfriends. I have many gay friends through him.
HOWEVER, marriage is where I, as a Christian, have to draw the line. To go and to celebrate two men joining in marriage, which God says is between a man and a woman, is just wrong. I can't be alright with this. I can't go and celebrate it with them. I can't be his best man and watch him join in an ungodly union with a man. It's not ever marriage. It's make believe.
So Traveler, you know nothing of my position. K, thanks, bye.
Alright. So apparently I need to throw the whole story out here. Some on CF know. I will, however, keep it brief and keep many of the nasty details out of it.
My brother and I were raised in an abusive household. Our stepfather sexually, physically, and emotionally abused us. I personally was physically abused far more than my brother was, but unknown to me at the time, my brother was being sexually abused daily; which involved penetration, oral sex, and my stepfather web-camming with ladies behind my mother's back while my brother sat under his desk and took care of him, if you will. The only time I was sexually abused, was when I was maybe 5 or 6, and my brother was 4 or 5. My stepfather made my brother give me oral sex while I gave my stepfather oral sex.
There's a lot more to it, but that's all we're getting into.
Eventually my brother came out as gay, and I was made aware of all the sexual abuse that happened that was unknown to me. He said he was probably gay because of everything that happened. He simply has zero attraction to females. My brother ultimately went to worldy route, and I the Christian route. We are the best of friends, I completely accept him for who he is, and I never condemn nor judge him. I meet and become friends with his boyfriends. I have many gay friends through him.
HOWEVER, marriage is where I, as a Christian, have to draw the line. To go and to celebrate two men joining in marriage, which God says is between a man and a woman, is just wrong. I can't be alright with this. I can't go and celebrate it with them. I can't be his best man and watch him join in an ungodly union with a man. It's not ever marriage. It's make believe.
So Traveler, you know nothing of my position. K, thanks, bye.
Alright. So apparently I need to throw the whole story out here. Some on CF know. I will, however, keep it brief and keep many of the nasty details out of it.
My brother and I were raised in an abusive household. Our stepfather sexually, physically, and emotionally abused us. I personally was physically abused far more than my brother was, but unknown to me at the time, my brother was being sexually abused daily; which involved penetration, oral sex, and my stepfather web-camming with ladies behind my mother's back while my brother sat under his desk and took care of him, if you will. The only time I was sexually abused, was when I was maybe 5 or 6, and my brother was 4 or 5. My stepfather made my brother give me oral sex while I gave my stepfather oral sex.
There's a lot more to it, but that's all we're getting into.
Eventually my brother came out as gay, and I was made aware of all the sexual abuse that happened that was unknown to me. He said he was probably gay because of everything that happened. He simply has zero attraction to females. My brother ultimately went to worldy route, and I the Christian route. We are the best of friends, I completely accept him for who he is, and I never condemn nor judge him. I meet and become friends with his boyfriends. I have many gay friends through him.
HOWEVER, marriage is where I, as a Christian, have to draw the line. To go and to celebrate two men joining in marriage, which God says is between a man and a woman, is just wrong. I can't be alright with this. I can't go and celebrate it with them. I can't be his best man and watch him join in an ungodly union with a man. It's not ever marriage. It's make believe.
So Traveler, you know nothing of my position. K, thanks, bye.
That's alright. A lot of people want to instantly assume it's the typical "ewww, gays" position that many Christians tend to take. But it's not. It's so much more. It is, in my eyes, genuinely wrong to go to the wedding and ultimately support what is so clearly not of God.
I've learned that in most cases of homosexuality, there was some form of abuse, neglect, or dysfunction early in life. And believe it or not, this gives me hope that your brother may yet find healing, though when or how it may happen, only God knows.
I have learnt that many Christian organizations seems to come up with inaccurate to distorted information on gay issues, including gays is caused by dysfunctions etc.
Most gays, in fact, do not come from a background of abuse.
Traveler, I already know what you believe, hon. You're welcome to disagree with me. The truth is what it is, we don't need to argue about it. My statement wasn't aimed at you, so there's no need to aim yours at me.
Also, notice that I didn't just say "abuse". I believe there are a myriad of factors that come into play with this issue. Abuse is just one of them. The common thing is that most of them happen during the formative years, sometimes earlier in childhood than can be recalled clearly as an adult.
Traveler, I already know what you believe, hon. You're welcome to disagree with me. The truth is what it is, we don't need to argue about it. My statement wasn't aimed at you.
Also, notice that I didn't just say "abuse". I believe there are a myriad of factors that come into play with this issue. Abuse is just one of them. The common thing is that most of them happen during the formative years, sometimes earlier in childhood than can be recalled clearly as an adult. Things like neglect by the opposite-gender parent, abandonment, encouragement to indulge in opposite-gender traits, growing up around other homosexuals, and much more.
We're all born with a sinful nature, and we're all predisposed to certain behaviors, but it's what happens as we're developing (nature vs nurture) that determines much about who we'll be as adults.
That's alright. A lot of people want to instantly assume it's the typical "ewww, gays" position that many Christians tend to take. But it's not. It's so much more. It is, in my eyes, genuinely wrong to go to the wedding and ultimately support what is so clearly not of God.
My reason for not wanting to go is still quite simple. God says no, so I have no choice but to follow my convictions and say no as well.
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