Hi, I'm sorta knew here, but I hope you'll critique my story anyway 
So, here it is! Please tell me what you think, I'd like some tips and advice
The house was fairly new, but the clutter and disarray that surrounded it made it seem decades older. Broken windows, ivy growing up the chimney, rotted wood, and that was only the front. There were paddlocks on the doors, boards on the windows, even a barb-wire fence. It was clear that the occupants didn't want visitors.
But He still walked up the creaking steps and knocked on the falling-down door.
"Go away" a faint voice said from deep inside."Can't you read? No...trespassing..." the voice fadingly said. He sighed as He pulled the "condemned" sign off the door and sat in on an old rusty table on the porch.
Once more, He knocked. This time, the door squeaked open. He looked softly into the eyes of a young but haggared woman. She opened the door wider and shed light onto her own face. Her mouth opened slightly, then shut as her eyes relaxed.
"Would you...like to come in?" she said, barely audible.
He smiled politely and stepped inside. His radiant smile fadded slowly when he saw the disaster inside. Pictures of people He recognized were broken and flung to the floor. Broken glass lay everywhere you dare step. An old bible lay upside down and open on the hardwood floor. He lifted it and smoothed it out, setting it on a table nearby. His eyes were drawn upward to a small poloroid photo on a shelf. He picked it up and immediatly knew them. He had brought them home a few years ago. All but the grinning blond on the left. He saved her from the wreck. She was gifted in many ways, but that was not why he spared her. They loved him, she did not.
"That's...my family. They...um..."she sat on a ripped up old couch and burried her face in her hands.
He came and sat beside her. "You'll know one day why the died, if only you'd let me stay and help clean this place up. If that's okay with y..." She jumped up from the sofa as tears streamed down her face.
"No! Get out! You..." Realization spread across her face."You! It's you, YOU took them!" She started throwing anything she could reach at Him.
He turned slowly and left, shutting the door behind him with a click. He picked up the "condemned" sign and reluctantly placed it back onto the door window.
As He walked down the weed-covered lane, He heard her weeping. He turned and looked at the house as tears left His eyes and fell to the dirt.
So, here it is! Please tell me what you think, I'd like some tips and advice
The house was fairly new, but the clutter and disarray that surrounded it made it seem decades older. Broken windows, ivy growing up the chimney, rotted wood, and that was only the front. There were paddlocks on the doors, boards on the windows, even a barb-wire fence. It was clear that the occupants didn't want visitors.
But He still walked up the creaking steps and knocked on the falling-down door.
"Go away" a faint voice said from deep inside."Can't you read? No...trespassing..." the voice fadingly said. He sighed as He pulled the "condemned" sign off the door and sat in on an old rusty table on the porch.
Once more, He knocked. This time, the door squeaked open. He looked softly into the eyes of a young but haggared woman. She opened the door wider and shed light onto her own face. Her mouth opened slightly, then shut as her eyes relaxed.
"Would you...like to come in?" she said, barely audible.
He smiled politely and stepped inside. His radiant smile fadded slowly when he saw the disaster inside. Pictures of people He recognized were broken and flung to the floor. Broken glass lay everywhere you dare step. An old bible lay upside down and open on the hardwood floor. He lifted it and smoothed it out, setting it on a table nearby. His eyes were drawn upward to a small poloroid photo on a shelf. He picked it up and immediatly knew them. He had brought them home a few years ago. All but the grinning blond on the left. He saved her from the wreck. She was gifted in many ways, but that was not why he spared her. They loved him, she did not.
"That's...my family. They...um..."she sat on a ripped up old couch and burried her face in her hands.
He came and sat beside her. "You'll know one day why the died, if only you'd let me stay and help clean this place up. If that's okay with y..." She jumped up from the sofa as tears streamed down her face.
"No! Get out! You..." Realization spread across her face."You! It's you, YOU took them!" She started throwing anything she could reach at Him.
He turned slowly and left, shutting the door behind him with a click. He picked up the "condemned" sign and reluctantly placed it back onto the door window.
As He walked down the weed-covered lane, He heard her weeping. He turned and looked at the house as tears left His eyes and fell to the dirt.
i think im alittle slow....
