Home Alone..

[Lotuspetal_uk]

What age do you think it's appropriate for a child to be left alone for an hour to a couple of hours?

HRH is 9 and she goes where ever I go on the basis that I don't think she'd be able to cope with all the scenarios that could occur if she was left at home while I went to the shops. She's a mature child for her age, knows the emergency numbers, knows not to answer the door to anyone (even when I'm with her). But in spite of this I still think she's too young to be left at home without supervision.

The reason for my question is that she has just come off the phone with one of her relatives and I overheard him telling her that his mom has gone to the shops and have left him alone.....again. He has just turned 9.

A couple of weeks ago HRH told me that this relative had done this when she came to spend the weekend with them and this annoyed me but I haven't yet said anything to the relative. The excursion was sufficiently far away for them to use their car. There are no shops near to where they live.

Hearing this today is making me wonder whether I need to ask this person to not do that while my daughter is in their care. I thought this was a no-brainer (leaving children alone at home) but I'm thinking now that I may need to say something.

What do you guys think? Is 8/9 too young? How old were your kids when you left them alone to get some groceries? Am I over-reacting?

Thanks in advance...

 

[BlissMommy]

I would just gently tell this relative that when my child is in their care that I do not want them left alone. If they can't do that then do not leave your child in their care.

 

[MessianicMommy]

IMVHO, yes under 12/13 is too young. And, depending where you live, there may be laws about this.

UK: Leaving children at home alone : Directgov - Parents
BBC News - Should a teenager be left to babysit a toddler?
BBC NEWS | UK | Q&A: Home alone

US: Leaving Your Child Home Alone
Leaving Children Home Alone

Canada: Child Safe Canada - Ask an Expert


Were it me; I'd be more than livid, and it'd likely be the last time they had childcare without me present.

 

[ChristianMom74]

I my opinion yes, that is way too young.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I would just gently tell this relative that when my child is in their care that I do not want them left alone. If they can't do that then do not leave your child in their care.

Amen, thanks B.M.

I'm thinking of this route mainly since I didn't immediately address the issue when I heard about it. But then had I done, it would have ended in an argument.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Were it me; I'd be more than livid, and it'd likely be the last time they had childcare without me present.

Thanks MM. That's how I was when I posted this.

As you know (in other parts of CF about what's going on with me offline), this relative was the cause of many verbal dressing downs I received because he thought the person was immoral. I use to defend them back then, to my cost.

So to then see that they did this - and not tell me - made me seriously wonder whether what I endured because of them was worth it.

I'm slowly exhaling because I'm not being oversensitive on this.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I my opinion yes, that is way too young.

Thanks so much! I seriously thought I was over-reacting abit when HRH told me.

 

[MessianicMommy]

Oh sweetie.

 

[akmom]

I don't think it's okay to leave others' children unattended in your home unless their parents explicitly agreed it was okay. Other than that, I don't think it's any one's business when parents decide to leave their children home alone. Cultures all over the world handle these issues differently, and Americans generally fall in the over-protective category overall. Personally I can't imagine any reason why leaving a nine-year-old alone in their OWN home would be wrong, but I don't have a nine-year-old yet, so maybe I lack perspective. I do have a six-year-old that could do just fine home alone, but I don't have any reason not to bring her with me. So she comes. I know I was regularly left alone as early as seven, and it was pretty common in my area. If we came home from the bus stop and Mom was shopping, we just watched TV and waited. Now there's after-school care for every age and it's the norm. I think it has way more to do with cultural trends than real safety issues. There just aren't latch-key kids any more.

So... to answer question, I think it's probably fine to leave a nine-year-old alone for a few hours. But... about your specific situation, I don't think they should have taken that liberty with YOUR child without your permission.

 

[gracefulone1980]

You are not overreacting. Nine is way too young to be home alone. My 8 year old is mature for her age and knows how to properly contact someone in case of an emergency, but I still would not leave her home alone. I think I was about 11 when my mother started leaving her for an hour or two after school.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I don't think it's okay to leave others' children unattended in your home unless their parents explicitly agreed it was okay. Other than that, I don't think it's any one's business when parents decide to leave their children home alone. Cultures all over the world handle these issues differently, and Americans generally fall in the over-protective category overall. Personally I can't imagine any reason why leaving a nine-year-old alone in their OWN home would be wrong, but I don't have a nine-year-old yet, so maybe I lack perspective. I do have a six-year-old that could do just fine home alone, but I don't have any reason not to bring her with me. So she comes. I know I was regularly left alone as early as seven, and it was pretty common in my area. If we came home from the bus stop and Mom was shopping, we just watched TV and waited. Now there's after-school care for every age and it's the norm. I think it has way more to do with cultural trends than real safety issues. There just aren't latch-key kids any more.

So... to answer question, I think it's probably fine to leave a nine-year-old alone for a few hours. But... about your specific situation, I don't think they should have taken that liberty with YOUR child without your permission.

Thanks akmom.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

You are not overreacting. Nine is way too young to be home alone. My 8 year old is mature for her age and knows how to properly contact someone in case of an emergency, but I still would not leave her home alone. I think I was about 11 when my mother started leaving her for an hour or two after school.

Thank you gracefulone.

 

[jminnesota]

i would say when your oldest kid is say 13 it is ok for them to be home alone for a bit while you go into town for stuff or have date nights with your spouse

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

i would say when your oldest kid is say 13 it is ok for them to be home alone for a bit while you go into town for stuff or have date nights with your spouse

Amen, thanks Jminnesota.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I think nines too young. It does depend on the kids maturity level too on when you can decide. I do leave my son home shortly when I go down the street and do a quick stop somewhere, like a gas station, and he's almost 12. But not for extended periods of time, and my mother lives across from our house so there's always someone available.