Holiday Greetings EXpectations??

[caitlincares]

I broke of my engagement 5 months ago.
We had dated off and on for 15 years.
Have known each other 22 years.
We were friends first and maybe will be able to be friends again.
But right now believe a clean break was necessary...
But what to do about Holiday Greetings.

Guys opinions especially wanted.

In one way I want to send a Holiday Greeting but I do not want him to think we are getting back together.
(He is not with anyone else and he still loves me.)

And if I do and he takes it the wrong way - I do not want to have to tell him I am happier now than I have been in a long time.

 

[Macrina]

Oh, wow, CC, I don't know what to tell you. I didn't realize you went so far back with your ex. I would think that if you two are still friendly, you could send something very simple as a greeting, but you'd have to be careful. I guess the question for you is, how well does he understand that it's over?

I'm sure the guys will pop in with their perspective on this. Good luck.

 

[OhhJim]

I wouldn't feel bad if I didn't get a holiday greeting from my ex. Why do you want to send one? Is it to make yourself feel better? Do you think it will edify his life? Force of habit?

You're right, he might think you want to get back together. After all, women communicate in hints, and he might think this is one.

 

[caitlincares]

I wouldn't feel bad if I didn't get a holiday greeting from my ex. Why do you want to send one? Is it to make yourself feel better? Do you think it will edify his life? Force of habit?

You're right, he might think you want to get back together. After all, women communicate in hints, and he might think this is one.

I want to send one because I would like to retain our friendship.
I also know he is unlikely to get many or any other Holiday Greetings.
I do care about his well being (as a friend).

 

[wildthing]

My ex (gf) and I exchange cards, perhaps an E card but nothing more.

 

[KeilCoppes]

You know, Cathy, you don't ask easy questions, do you? :^)

You're at a bit of a decision point. If you're going to have the friendship, then you're going to have to take some risks. As for not wanting to tell someone you're happy, I understand not wanting to hurt someone. You are who you are, though. Denying it is quite simply a mistruth.

Hard though it may be, you do need to make a decision. Take a risk for the friendship, or let it go. God bless.

 

[kelco]

This is really hard, but sometimes you can't be either. But IMHO go ahead and send the greeting, At least he will know that you are thinking and care about him even if he doesn't respond. Who knows, maybe it will open up a line of communication.

 

[nhzname]

Tough call Cathy, but because of your love for him as a friend, whatever way you decide to send him greetings, I would suggest a card that specifies the friendship part, ie: Holiday Greeting to a Special Friend, or something along those lines. This man has known you for years, so he would surely understand that being who you are, you want to wish him the best for the holidays.

 

[JPPT1974]

Just go to God and ask him what he wants you to do about your special friend. And he will provide for you.

 

[wvmtnkid]

This is just how I would feel, so you can take it for what it's worth.

I would not want a card from someone I just broke up with 5 months ago, especially at the holidays. For me, it would just re-open some of the past, particularly if it was someone I was still in love with and I didn't necessarily want the break up to begin with. Holidays are hard if you are alone and you don't want to be. Getting a card from someone that you love sometimes dredges up old memories that you would rather not deal with or that perhaps you would rather leave buried.

I would rather not receive the card, because it would undoubtly raise my hopes. But, that's just me. If you are going to be friends again, that will probably happen on it's own, I don't know if a holiday card will really help that along.

Holiday's are hard, lot's of emotion that isn't there at any other time of the year.

 

[TriptychR]

My hopes wouldn't raise were I to receive a simple, generic holiday greeting from my ex. But that's just me; you know how your ex reads into things better than I do. Just don't feel that you have to send a greeting. That sort of things just isn't as prominent in our guy minds.

 

[JPPT1974]

This is just how I would feel, so you can take it for what it's worth.

I would not want a card from someone I just broke up with 5 months ago, especially at the holidays. For me, it would just re-open some of the past, particularly if it was someone I was still in love with and I didn't necessarily want the break up to begin with. Holidays are hard if you are alone and you don't want to be. Getting a card from someone that you love sometimes dredges up old memories that you would rather not deal with or that perhaps you would rather leave buried.

I would rather not receive the card, because it would undoubtly raise my hopes. But, that's just me. If you are going to be friends again, that will probably happen on it's own, I don't know if a holiday card will really help that along.

Holiday's are hard, lot's of emotion that isn't there at any other time of the year.

Well that is just you and you are entitled to not receving cards from the exes!! If you both want to be just friends..that will also happen on not just your own but also on God's watch and time as well.

 

[Sinless_angels]

I personally think just leave it this xmas.

It's to soon and esp if he could get the wrong idea.

 

[Glorianna]

You know this guy better than any of us do! Unfortunately, the best person to make this decision is you caitlincares.

 

[SandyLou]

I would not want a card from someone I just broke up with 5 months ago, especially at the holidays. For me, it would just re-open some of the past, particularly if it was someone I was still in love with and I didn't necessarily want the break up to begin with. Holidays are hard if you are alone and you don't want to be. Getting a card from someone that you love sometimes dredges up old memories that you would rather not deal with or that perhaps you would rather leave buried.

I would rather not receive the card, because it would undoubtly raise my hopes. But, that's just me. If you are going to be friends again, that will probably happen on it's own, I don't know if a holiday card will really help that along.

Holiday's are hard, lot's of emotion that isn't there at any other time of the year.

I have to agree with you WVmtnKid. A thinking of you / friendship card any other time of the year maybe - - but it would hurt me at Christmas

 

[JPPT1974]

Catlincares, let everything fall into place the way God sees fit and he will help and guide you along the way.