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BloodStained
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I know its not right to hold onto the pain fo past hurts...but do you ever feel like it is some kind of power, that if you forgive the person it lets them off the hook?
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BlessedMommy05
Is Thanking God for opening doors!
- Dec 27, 2006
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Yeah I feel that way if I forgive my brother and parents it sort of lets them off the hook but also I know that God wont let them off the hook cuz of what they did, unless they prayed for forgiveness,but its still apart of their life they will have to account for at leat I am not sure.. Its like I would love to walk away from pain and the memories,but then how can I truly go on when the other person denies of ever doing anything? Thats painful for me personally.. Hugs on your feelings and emotoins to.. I pray God helps us in that area 
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I like blessedmommy's reply.
I forgive all, but I do not trust untrustworthy people. I forgive past things, and sometimes those people in our lives repeat the bad things habitually. I just back away from them, pray for them, forgive them, but that doesn't mean I trust them. I am nice to them as much as can be, but if they aren't changing and even acknowledging things, just don't rely on them for something they are not capable of. and we should especially pray. I am not perfect either, we also need to be good examples ourselves too and be gracious, because everyone makes mistakes too
I forgive all, but I do not trust untrustworthy people. I forgive past things, and sometimes those people in our lives repeat the bad things habitually. I just back away from them, pray for them, forgive them, but that doesn't mean I trust them. I am nice to them as much as can be, but if they aren't changing and even acknowledging things, just don't rely on them for something they are not capable of. and we should especially pray. I am not perfect either, we also need to be good examples ourselves too and be gracious, because everyone makes mistakes too
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BlessedMommy05
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Rocklife.
Thanks thats the first I have typed how I felt about that situation and some one agress. That helps thank you.. Yeah I am the same way, I tend to be to forgiving and land myself right back into the pain and hurt all over again.. I need to learn to back up and go are they changing or staying the same, some times only time tells.. God bless and see ya around the board..hehe
Thanks thats the first I have typed how I felt about that situation and some one agress. That helps thank you.. Yeah I am the same way, I tend to be to forgiving and land myself right back into the pain and hurt all over again.. I need to learn to back up and go are they changing or staying the same, some times only time tells.. God bless and see ya around the board..hehe
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I know that feeling. I cant let go either. Its so stupid, and I hate it. Its like the pain is the one thing that keeps me going if I talk about it and sort through it, I knows its true. There could be no pretending its all okay if I admit it isnt. So yeah, the denial is what keeps me going. Is this so wrong?
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Surviving
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Letting go of the pain is really hard to do. For me, I guess I am scared. I am so use to things going wrong for me or something bad happening, that when something good happens, it doesn't feel right. It's kind of like this with pain. Don't get me wrong, I like being happy and everything, but I find it harder to be happy than to be sad. Hope this makes sense.
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BelindaP
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I know how y'all feel about this. For years I had trouble letting go of the pain. Not only did it seem like I would be me letting the perpetrators off the hook, but it also seemed like it my not hurting would somehow validate that they had done. Like it would make what they had done not be so bad.
While it seems like that is what will happen, that isn't what really happens. Letting go of the pain actually releases you from what they did to you. It in no way minimizes what they did and it does not absolve them of the guilt. Their victim is no longer crying, but God sees the scars and will render His judgment all the same.
I find that I am a more effective person for having let the pain go. I am better able to protect my children, because I don't act out of being triggered or out of fear. I am better able to fight for justice because I am now strong of my own accord, not out of anger or pain.
Making the decision to let go is one of the hardest that any survivor of abuse will face. But, it is one of the most rewarding, too.
While it seems like that is what will happen, that isn't what really happens. Letting go of the pain actually releases you from what they did to you. It in no way minimizes what they did and it does not absolve them of the guilt. Their victim is no longer crying, but God sees the scars and will render His judgment all the same.
I find that I am a more effective person for having let the pain go. I am better able to protect my children, because I don't act out of being triggered or out of fear. I am better able to fight for justice because I am now strong of my own accord, not out of anger or pain.
Making the decision to let go is one of the hardest that any survivor of abuse will face. But, it is one of the most rewarding, too.
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Pain needs healing. Love and support really ease pain.
Forgiveness is not a quick fix for things like abuse either. Has God forgiven them? You must be aware that just trying to 'be good' can sometimes set you up for more hurt. Jesus told us to be as innocent as doves and wise as serpents.
I always allow people to face up to the depths of their anger when I can. Often, it's after they have done that when some real changes towards the other person begin to happen. But you are justifiably angry at such things happening to you. God was also very angry at seeing that happen.
John
NZ
Forgiveness is not a quick fix for things like abuse either. Has God forgiven them? You must be aware that just trying to 'be good' can sometimes set you up for more hurt. Jesus told us to be as innocent as doves and wise as serpents.
I always allow people to face up to the depths of their anger when I can. Often, it's after they have done that when some real changes towards the other person begin to happen. But you are justifiably angry at such things happening to you. God was also very angry at seeing that happen.
John
NZ
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