Hmmmm. Am I too much?

[x.miranda.x]

Ok, there is this guy who is one of my best friends. He has had a pretty rough life, or really rough, I should say. And then his ex-girlfriend, who he put everything into, broke up with him. And then spread a bunch of terrible stuff about him that wasn't true. And he thinks everyone hates him. And he is used to all his friends getting tired of him, and bailing. And I'm not gonna do that. He kinda always stays to himself, unless you talk to him first. He isn't shy, he is just kinda that way.
But I have got him to start coming to youth group at my church with me, and he is starting to come around. But my problem is I feel that I annoy him, and that he's getting tired of me. We hang out a lot, and I always talk to him, because I hate him being alone. But if I was, he wouldn't say anything, because I've asked him. But I just feel like I do....
So how can I know if I am annoying him and when to back off? I just have a hard time, because he needs somebody to not bail on him, and I feel lie I'm too much sometimes... but i don't know what to do about it any ideas?

 

[1watchman]

Are you talking about real believers in Christ who are devoted to Him, or just nominal Christians --or no Christians at all? That makes all the difference in this matter. Perhaps you need to talk to him about what he believes.

- 1 Watchman

 

[forGod1]

Just be yourself. He's hanging around you for this reason, isn't he?

 

[Johnnz]

Just be yourself. He's hanging around you for this reason, isn't he?

Sensible post. People come in many flavours. We all must learn to appreciate people for who they are.

John
NZ

 

[x.miranda.x]

But how do I know if I need to back off?

 

[Johnnz]

If he is OK with you, and you don't have any sense of something negative building up or coming from him towards you then just keep relating to him socially and as a friend.

John
NZ

 

[x.miranda.x]

But if I do sense negative build up?

 

[christandisrael]

I think that you may be kind of hard on yourself and you may need to seek God on this issue. You haven't done anything wrong. He probably still loves you. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[Johnnz]

If you do sense that raise it with him. Often people who have known rejection will act pre-emptively, cutting off a relationship before they will be cut off again (as they expect it will).

If you sense something more intimate on his part might be happening, then get some mature advice and be cautious and wise.

John
NZ

 

[x.miranda.x]

hmmmm ok.

 

[Orahh]

It's normal to be worried that we annoy people. I get like that a lot, I always feel that I speak at the wrong times and it gets to people. But the thing is you have stuck around for him and if he is decent enough he will recognise that and appreciate you for it. If your concerened enough just ask him to tell you if he is getting annoyed and is he says no, then quit worrying. If yes, then appologise and ask what you can do to make things right. good luck and hopefully he will come to know christ soon!

 

[christandisrael]

He needs your love and he needs your prayer...

 

[Smiler33]

You're doing a great thing introducing him to your group. I know I sometimes worry if I'm annoying people too (issue of low self esteem for me) but you have asked him and he's reassured you. Go with the flow, if anything negative does come up, talk to him about it to resolve it but, most important of all, be yourself.