- Jul 19, 2018
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Like my "History of science joke (1 of 2)," we also used to tell this joke in the 1990's. Again, it is a history of computer science joke. To get this joke, you need to know that Windows 95, even though it came out AFTER Windows 3.1, was fraught with difficulties that we did not suffer when we used to use Windows 3.1.
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Bill Gates dies, and meets St. Peter at the gate of Heaven. St. Peter says, "We have decided to let you choose, Mr. Gates, whether you will be assigned to Heaven or to hell for all eternity."
"Wow," says Bill Gates, "OK!"
"Would you like to tour Heaven first," asks St. Peter, "or hell first?"
"I'll tour hell first," says Bill Gates. So St. Peter takes Bill Gates down to hell, and guess what, hell is actually very nice. There is a large swimming pool, with a tiki bar serving tropical drinks, and attractive young women in bathing suits. "OK!" says Bill Gates. "I'll tour Heaven now."
So St. Peter takes Bill Gates up to Heaven, and by contrast, Heaven is very, well, spiritual. There's not a lot to look at, and the people are very introspective and praying a lot. "Well?" St. Peter asks. "What'll it be, Mr. Gates?" And Bill Gates says, "I'll take hell!"
"As you wish, Mr. Gates," says St. Peter. And he whisks Bill Gates back to hell, BUT GUESS WHAT: hell has CHANGED. It's DIFFERENT. It's NOT NICE anymore. The swimming pool is gone, the tropical drinks are gone, the beautiful young girls are gone, there's nothing but torment, excessive heat, and weeping and gnashing of teeth.
"Hey!" says Bill Gates. "This isn't the hell you showed me before!"
"Oh, that was Hell 3.1," says St. Peter. "This is Hell 95" *smile*.
**********
Bill Gates dies, and meets St. Peter at the gate of Heaven. St. Peter says, "We have decided to let you choose, Mr. Gates, whether you will be assigned to Heaven or to hell for all eternity."
"Wow," says Bill Gates, "OK!"
"Would you like to tour Heaven first," asks St. Peter, "or hell first?"
"I'll tour hell first," says Bill Gates. So St. Peter takes Bill Gates down to hell, and guess what, hell is actually very nice. There is a large swimming pool, with a tiki bar serving tropical drinks, and attractive young women in bathing suits. "OK!" says Bill Gates. "I'll tour Heaven now."
So St. Peter takes Bill Gates up to Heaven, and by contrast, Heaven is very, well, spiritual. There's not a lot to look at, and the people are very introspective and praying a lot. "Well?" St. Peter asks. "What'll it be, Mr. Gates?" And Bill Gates says, "I'll take hell!"
"As you wish, Mr. Gates," says St. Peter. And he whisks Bill Gates back to hell, BUT GUESS WHAT: hell has CHANGED. It's DIFFERENT. It's NOT NICE anymore. The swimming pool is gone, the tropical drinks are gone, the beautiful young girls are gone, there's nothing but torment, excessive heat, and weeping and gnashing of teeth.
"Hey!" says Bill Gates. "This isn't the hell you showed me before!"
"Oh, that was Hell 3.1," says St. Peter. "This is Hell 95" *smile*.
