High Libido

Rania1 · Oct 11, 2019

How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?

Scann · Oct 11, 2019

If you have a high sex drive, then shouldn't your husband um....have sex with you more often?It's not sinful if you're married and God approves right?Sorry if what I say doesn't help.

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

Rania1 said:
How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?

Often regular Bible reading and prayer can settle people into the real priorities, Godward.

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

Scann said:
If you have a high sex drive, then shouldn't your husband um....have sex with you more often?It's not sinful if you're married and God approves right?Sorry if what I say doesn't help.

Often it's the husband who is more energetic.

Kilk1 · Oct 11, 2019

Rania1 said:
How do you lower your libido? I have a very high sex drive and sometimes it becomes an issue with me and my husband. I don't want to diminish it completely, just lower it to an average level. I've researched and found too many different answers that it's starting to confuse me. I'd rather not go on a prescription that may cause more problems than it helps. I've heard exercising helps. Nope, makes my problem worse. Reading, cooking, gardening, none really distract me. I'm a bit too embarrassed to ask the owner of the local herbal shop or talk to my doctor. Help, please?

While you may have already gone over it, 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 is a passage for you and your husband to consider. It suggests that if one spouse's drive is higher than the other's, then the other spouse should "render the affection" that's due.

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

Kilk1 said:
While you may have already gone over it, 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 is a passage for you and your husband to consider. It suggests that if one spouse's drive is higher than the other's, then the other spouse should "render the affection" that's due.

Hi; I think a lot of mutual patience is also highly advisable.

Endeavourer · Oct 11, 2019

Hi Rania,

Prescriptions and herbs are definitely not a good idea. Like you suggested, body/mind altering chemicals can cause problems of their own.

The person with the highest drive is responsible for creating conditions that would make the other spouse enthusiastic about engaging. That being said, sometimes there can be complicating factors if the husband has a lower sex drive.

If a man has a low sex drive it is often due to either low testosterone levels or a habit of masturbating (possibly with porn). Do you think either of these factors could apply to him?

Endeavourer · Oct 11, 2019

Kilk1 said:
While you may have already gone over it, 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 is a passage for you and your husband to consider. It suggests that if one spouse's drive is higher than the other's, then the other spouse should "render the affection" that's due.

The problem with this is the man may have a difficult time performing under the threat of the business end of a Bible.

Kilk1 · Oct 11, 2019

Endeavourer said:
The problem with this is the man may have a difficult time performing under the threat of the business end of a Bible.

Hello. I'm a little bit confused what you mean about "the business end of a Bible," but since God's word gives instruction on what to do when sexual drives can become a threat for Satan to use, we should follow its instruction. I assume we agree on this much, right?

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

Kilk1 said:
Hello. I'm a little bit confused what you mean about "the business end of a Bible," but since God's word gives instruction on what to do when sexual drives can become a threat for Satan to use, we should follow its instruction. I assume we agree on this much, right?

Sometimes newly weds can go through such a change of habit that they can feel a bit overwhelmed at the possibilities; and one spouse might not be as energetic as the other; in the end an appropriate level needs to be found.

Endeavourer · Oct 11, 2019

Kilk1 said:
we should follow its instruction. I assume we agree on this much, right?

What instruction is it that you are suggesting she follow to get her husband to "render the affection" she is "due"?

Kilk1 · Oct 11, 2019

Endeavourer said:
What instruction is it that you are suggesting she follow to get her husband to "render the affection" she is "due"?

I'm assuming he's a Christian, which would mean he'd follow the instruction given in 1 Corinthians 7:1-6. I could be wrong, though.

Kilk1 · Oct 11, 2019

faroukfarouk said:
Sometimes newly weds can go through such a change of habit that they can feel a bit overwhelmed at the possibilities; and one spouse might not be as energetic as the other; in the end an appropriate level needs to be found.

I guess this is something they'll need to work out together. This passage is definitely one that should be part of the discussion, though. May they be able to settle this in a loving, God-fearing way.

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

@baptistgirl21 FYI, this thread, as per your post on the other thread.

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

Kilk1 said:
I guess this is something they'll need to work out together. This passage is definitely one that should be part of the discussion, though. May they be able to settle this in a loving, God-fearing way.

Mutual needs are assumed. Although not every spouse has identical levels of such need.

HatedByAll · Oct 11, 2019

Is it possible to get a part time job or somehow work more? Not saying it will lower your drive, just think it will take your mind off of it if your mind has to be on something else. . .

faroukfarouk · Oct 11, 2019

HatedByAll said:
Is it possible to get a part time job or somehow work more? Not saying it will lower your drive, just think it will take your mind off of it if your mind has to be on something else. . .

This was my point also about Scripture reading and prayer; apart from its primary God honouring purpose, it also serves to concentrate one's mind from other things.

Young married couples do sometimes have a period of adjustment before they settle into an equilibrium with one another.

faroukfarouk · Oct 12, 2019

Scann said:
If you have a high sex drive...

Sometimes meds. are not even necessary; mutual patience and a willingness to adapt somewhat may have the desired effect, possibly.

Scann · Oct 12, 2019

faroukfarouk said:
Sometimes meds. are not even necessary; mutual patience and a willingness to adapt somewhat may have the desired effect, possibly.

You posted in the wrong thread. You are looking for the other one.

faroukfarouk · Oct 12, 2019

Scann said:
You posted in the wrong thread. You are looking for the other one.

I also just posted on the other thread...

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