Hi everyone. I was doing extremely badly about my dad a couple of weeks ago but I think that things are leveling off to an extent. I may not be able to give all the details perfectly or completely, but I thought I'd say that compared to the last time, it's not as hellish. There's still personality clashes that I can't stand, but that's not the point of this post right now.
About a day and a half after he got home, he started to be able to get out of his bed more easily. He tried going to the real toilet but didn't have enough confidence until a couple days later. He can get off the toilet (he wants to avoid the commode so that he can remain accustomed to using the actual toilet apparatus), provided he has some sort of rail to hold onto at the same time. My dad's handyman provided him with some sort of apparatus he got at a second-hand store that enables my dad to grip onto something when he gets off the toilet. It's foldable, but I wish I could describe it. I'm not sure it's as good as a real grab-bar but my dad likes it so far.
I still do some things for him that I didn't do before. Although he can get up and get his breakfast and go to the computer like he always did, I made some modifications. I pour out his cereal the day before and put a spoon in the bowl and put it in a gallon-size Ziploc bag so that he doesn't have to pour it out himself. I pour out some milk in a tall glass and some orange juice in a small glass and put it in the side door of the fridge so that he can use the tall glass to pour milk into his cereal. It's not that he doesn't know how to do any of these things. It's just that he doesn't want to either stand up too long or stand up without either of his hands touching something.
He did have trouble changing his clothes and diaper the first couple days and then jumped back into being able to do them. He's walking similarly to how he was before all this happened. It does seem like a miracle (I'd like to believe that it's partly because I prayed the Rosary for two weeks with intentions for my dad in mind, but I wonder if it's just a coincidence and he would have made the same progress anyway). The nursing home was saying how he was having dementia and didn't know how to use the toilet or get out of bed or change his clothes, but he seems fine at home, so I don't know what was going on. My hunch is that when my dad knows he gets help on something, he stops applying his brain anymore and maybe he stopped trying to figure out how to do anything in the nursing home since his mind told him that others were helping him instead. I don't know.
He had not showered for two weeks (there is an issue with the home health company going on and I haven't been able to resolve it - the home health aide that was supposed to come out was kind of a B and was upset that we could not agree to her decision to cancel our initial appointment that she canceled without telling us, and tried to impose a time that was not convenient for us, and she never called back even after we asked for her to call back). My dad and I tried to take care of this ourselves. It was a tad tedious because we had to alter things to his normal shower routine. It's not something I feel like doing more than once a week, it was tiring. I do think though that I can figure out ways to improve it by setting up the things before his shower, like his clothes, towels, diaper, comb, shampoo, etc but it's probably something that will take a couple months, maybe three months, to start figuring out. It's a shame that no one "wants" to come out to bathe my dad. Something's off about this. I'm tempted to contact the social worker at this home health company because of this (she did say that if I don't hear from any home health aide for the bathing, to contact her, but my dad and I are debating whether to just try it ourselves).
He's still a fall risk even then. He's actually fallen before. I doubt he'll ever bathe himself per se. He's getting determined to want to do it one day but he knows he's not ready (or may never be) for that sort of thing. He seems to be close to how he was before this fiasco (actually, I think he's a tad better, because of the physical therapy he received at the nursing home), but that does not mean we let our guard down or let him do certain things by himself like cook or shower or do dishes - things that require the use of both hands at the same time.
I might think of more things to say as time goes on but I thought I'd give a summary. I'm still petrified of what happens if he starts deteriorating and he needs the nursing home long-term.
About a day and a half after he got home, he started to be able to get out of his bed more easily. He tried going to the real toilet but didn't have enough confidence until a couple days later. He can get off the toilet (he wants to avoid the commode so that he can remain accustomed to using the actual toilet apparatus), provided he has some sort of rail to hold onto at the same time. My dad's handyman provided him with some sort of apparatus he got at a second-hand store that enables my dad to grip onto something when he gets off the toilet. It's foldable, but I wish I could describe it. I'm not sure it's as good as a real grab-bar but my dad likes it so far.
I still do some things for him that I didn't do before. Although he can get up and get his breakfast and go to the computer like he always did, I made some modifications. I pour out his cereal the day before and put a spoon in the bowl and put it in a gallon-size Ziploc bag so that he doesn't have to pour it out himself. I pour out some milk in a tall glass and some orange juice in a small glass and put it in the side door of the fridge so that he can use the tall glass to pour milk into his cereal. It's not that he doesn't know how to do any of these things. It's just that he doesn't want to either stand up too long or stand up without either of his hands touching something.
He did have trouble changing his clothes and diaper the first couple days and then jumped back into being able to do them. He's walking similarly to how he was before all this happened. It does seem like a miracle (I'd like to believe that it's partly because I prayed the Rosary for two weeks with intentions for my dad in mind, but I wonder if it's just a coincidence and he would have made the same progress anyway). The nursing home was saying how he was having dementia and didn't know how to use the toilet or get out of bed or change his clothes, but he seems fine at home, so I don't know what was going on. My hunch is that when my dad knows he gets help on something, he stops applying his brain anymore and maybe he stopped trying to figure out how to do anything in the nursing home since his mind told him that others were helping him instead. I don't know.
He had not showered for two weeks (there is an issue with the home health company going on and I haven't been able to resolve it - the home health aide that was supposed to come out was kind of a B and was upset that we could not agree to her decision to cancel our initial appointment that she canceled without telling us, and tried to impose a time that was not convenient for us, and she never called back even after we asked for her to call back). My dad and I tried to take care of this ourselves. It was a tad tedious because we had to alter things to his normal shower routine. It's not something I feel like doing more than once a week, it was tiring. I do think though that I can figure out ways to improve it by setting up the things before his shower, like his clothes, towels, diaper, comb, shampoo, etc but it's probably something that will take a couple months, maybe three months, to start figuring out. It's a shame that no one "wants" to come out to bathe my dad. Something's off about this. I'm tempted to contact the social worker at this home health company because of this (she did say that if I don't hear from any home health aide for the bathing, to contact her, but my dad and I are debating whether to just try it ourselves).
He's still a fall risk even then. He's actually fallen before. I doubt he'll ever bathe himself per se. He's getting determined to want to do it one day but he knows he's not ready (or may never be) for that sort of thing. He seems to be close to how he was before this fiasco (actually, I think he's a tad better, because of the physical therapy he received at the nursing home), but that does not mean we let our guard down or let him do certain things by himself like cook or shower or do dishes - things that require the use of both hands at the same time.
I might think of more things to say as time goes on but I thought I'd give a summary. I'm still petrified of what happens if he starts deteriorating and he needs the nursing home long-term.
