Hi

[nimloth32]

I am a 25 years old male who is studying in australia currently. I had been studying for a long time while my peers had started working. At times, i felt discouraged and even self pity when i look at them because i felt like i am a failure in comparison to them as i achieved nothing at my age when other ppl had achieved success in their life. I admit that i had failed quite a number of exams which caused me to delay my current pursue of my studies because i had to repeat the exams which i failed. I had done my best in order to improve my result. Yet i failed. I understand that this may be part of the process God has done to draw me closer to him. Yet years by years, the amount of failures i had experienced had put a heavy toll on me. I felt that it is harder for me to socialize with the new bunch of friends (although i admit that they were friendly towards me) because of the guilt in my heart. Every year, i was forced to depart from some of my closest friends who graduated, which grieves me a lot. If i pray to God, things may improve for a while and i feel better at times. However, in the end, THINGS STILL DOESN'T CHANGE!

I felt powerless and useless at times. As years go by, i was forced to depart from my friends until i no longer keen in socializing in university, church, etc like i used to be (because even though i went into socializing, i will be forced to depart from them anyway in the end) and gradually i withdrew myself from other ppl and sunk into the pit of depression. My friends had asked me to look beyond the circumstances and believe in God and miracles. I had put my trust in Him and yet i failed to see God's presence in my life.

 

[Radagast]

Welcome to CF and sorry to hear about your problems.

What seems to be going wrong with your exams? Is it language problems? Are the subjects too hard? Is it hard to get help?

 

[nimloth32]

The subjects are too hard and it is hard to grasp the lecturer's expectation from us i reckon

 

[Radagast]

Well, I pray that things will go better.

But some questions:

• Are you sure you're doing the right course?
• Have you talked to the lecturer and asked him/her what he/she expects? (most university staff are happy to help)
• Are there books you could read that might help?

If you're failing repeatedly, something needs to be changed to improve things.

 

[Saucy]

I can totally understand your pain with failure. I have spent four years in college and thousands of dollars, but I have no degree. I kept failing and failing and finally I gave up. Part of me realized that college wasn't for me and I started looking for new things to do.

Now, I am not saying you should do the same. I only said that to tell you I know how you feel with the failure thing. But something I learned a long time ago is that God only uses failures. If you look throughout the entire bible, who are the people that God uses? Who are the greatest biblical figures? Kings? Great men of wealth and success? Honestly, they aren't very good role models at all. They are all failures that God picked up by their bootstraps and used them to do mighty things. How can a man like Moses, a murderer, end up pastoring millions? Or someone like Saul, who hated Christ and tortured many Christians, end up changing his name to Paul and write most of the New Testament? And Daniel, a slave! What a testimony he has! Jonah, turned his back on God and disobeyed him, ended up three days in the belly of a whale.

But all the while, God takes failures and turns them into champions. I also believe that it is through failure that we truly learn, because we know what we did wrong and can turn around and improve upon the way we did it the first time. Through failure is the way in which we grow and become better. Did you know that Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, was cut from his high school basketball team? It's true! That guy who invented the lightbulb...how many times did he fail before finally getting it right?

So rather than giving up because it's too hard or thinking you're a failure and will never make anything of your life, look back at WHY you failed and improve upon the situation. Yes, your friends are successful right now, but God has just the right job and circumstance JUST FOR YOU! Don't compare yourself to them. You will never be them. Trust God that you will make it!

 

[nimloth32]

I had done badly in my test again. I am so depressed at the moment. I might do the wrong course. But, is changing course in this moment a right thing to do? I had done my best to improve the situation. I had visited my lecturer, read every possible book that helps me, discuss with my friends. But, things just went wrong whenever i go for my test. Is there hope? Is God real? Are there miracles?

 

[Radagast]

I had done badly in my test again. I am so depressed at the moment...

I'm very sorry to hear that, and I hope that things get better.

What course is it that you're doing, btw? Are you in the early stages or near the end?

Are you attending a church in Adelaide? (Holy Trinity on North Terrace is good) Not only is it important to attend a church, but older Christians there might be able to advise you. I know Holy Trinity has a connection to student groups at the inner-city universities.

 

[wayseer]

I had done badly in my test again. I am so depressed at the moment.

Sounds as if you see yourself stuck in something over which you have no control.

In reading through your posts it strikes me that you might be going in the wrong direction. You have consistently failed, as you have led me to believe, yet you continue in that same direction. I don't understand.

What is it that keeps you going along this path?

Are you under some obligation to continue?

I don't know your circumstances but is appears to me that you might be better branching off into something else. Whatever you are doing at the moment is obviously not working and you are making yourself miserable by continuing.

I know the world for a 25 year old is hugely competitive and I would not care to be 25 years old today. It must be very challenging. I just wondering if God is actually speaking to you and you are perhaps not listening.

 

[Radagast]

I had done badly in my test again. I am so depressed at the moment...

Apart from your lecturers and tutors, here are some other resources in your city that are willing to help:

Flinders Uni: Student Learning Centre

Adelaide Uni: CLPD

Uni SA: Learning and Teaching Unit

I encourage you to use these avenues to help deal with your problem.

Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this.

 

[wonderwaleye]

GOD does not send out LOSERS to carry out HIS MISSION that HE has for JUST YOU!!!

You have not prepared yourself in HIS WORD and turned your WHOLE life over to HIM. Had you done that HE would of already sent HIS HOLY SPIRIT upon you that would become your GUIDE, COMFORTER, COMUNICATOR, and TEACHER. All you need to carry out HIS MISSION. For at that time HE will supply ALL your needs.

So get off the couch and START.




ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

( left click and hold over the above to see your personal message )

 

[Elijah2]

Mate, I can understand your position, and no doubt the language barrier can cause many problems. Why is it that you went to Adelaide, and not to Melbourne were the multiculural teachers are well established in their universities?

Is it too late to change your acadaemic flow?

What line of employment are you intending to be employed in?

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[ChartreuseRose]

If i pray to God, things may improve for a while and i feel better at times. However, in the end, THINGS STILL DOESN'T CHANGE!

...

My friends had asked me to look beyond the circumstances and believe in God and miracles. I had put my trust in Him and yet i failed to see God's presence in my life.

Stop right there. If you're heart is in the right place God will help you out. You have to believe in that.

Also how do you now for sure this is the path he wants you to follow?? Maybe you should take a different path. I myself have failed and failed and failed. Only to realise later on he was guiding me towards something all along. Just think about it. And good luck.

 

[Radagast]

Apart from your lecturers and tutors, here are some other resources in your city that are willing to help:

Flinders Uni: Student Learning Centre

Adelaide Uni: CLPD

Uni SA: Learning and Teaching Unit

Were these resources any help?

 

[nimloth32]

hi, i thank you for your support..sorry for no reply..and i am sorry for being whining here..

it is just that..i am soo tired of being a failure..i always tried my best to achieve the best outcome for my study..i oso understand that i might choose the wrong course..but everything is too late now..i am 25 years old..and there is no turning back for me..if i quit studying, i had no qualification or wat so ever to earn my bread and butter..if i change to another course, i would have to restart everything which would probably take me another 4 or 5 years to finish studying or perhaps even ends up the way i am now..so, this is what happen if you put too much hope and sacrifice too many things for your dream and end up in failure..i dun mean to whine here, but i had nowhere to turn to..whenever i talked to my friends, they just dunno what to say or console me..and some may even mock me..whenever i pray to God, there seems to be no improvement in the circumstances except more suffering..i just cannot stand the trauma..i am glad that i still have family and friends who support me but my family is at my home country and i wouldn't even dare to bother them with my problem while my friends are going to leave me next year when they graduated or proceed with their life..i had looked for the 'counsellor' in my uni and they said they cannot do anything as well..

anyway, i thank you for your comments and supports..

 

[Radagast]

hi, i thank you for your support..sorry for no reply..and i am sorry for being whining here..

I've spoken to many students with similar problems over the years. God teaches us many valuable lessons at university, and one is to use the means that He makes available to deal with the problems. Another is not to delay too long.

It would have been much better to have addressed these issues earlier, but it's not too late even now.

1) Should you switch courses? Were your original reasons for choosing the course good reasons? If so, it's worth the effort required to graduate. If not, can you still switch? Are there alternatives that will give credit for work already done? It would be good to seek mature advice on this.

2) How can you improve your English skills? From your posts, improvement seems to be needed, and poor English skills make study very difficult (I know I would do very poorly if I was studying in, for example, France). Campus Christian student groups like AFES will help you make more English-speaking friends, which will help, and I also suggest reading good English novels in your spare time. And perhaps additional English courses.

3) How can you improve your study skills? This can be an issue with students moving to a country with a different approach to study. This is why I posted those 3 links. Did you follow them up?

4) Lecturers and tutors will help students who they see are making an effort. How often do you visit your lecturers and tutors? Again, this should be done early. If you don't understand a lecture, put up your hand and ask a question. Alternatively, read a book on the topic the same day, and see the lecturer in his/her office the same week.

..but everything is too late now

It is never too late.

..whenever i pray to God, there seems to be no improvement in the circumstances except more suffering

Perhaps God answered by making the ingredients of a solution available.

Once again, feel free to PM me on this.

 

[anonymousAdviser]

I am a 25 years old male who is studying in australia currently. I had been studying for a long time while my peers had started working. At times, i felt discouraged and even self pity when i look at them because i felt like i am a failure in comparison to them as i achieved nothing at my age when other ppl had achieved success in their life. I admit that i had failed quite a number of exams which caused me to delay my current pursue of my studies because i had to repeat the exams which i failed. I had done my best in order to improve my result. Yet i failed. I understand that this may be part of the process God has done to draw me closer to him. Yet years by years, the amount of failures i had experienced had put a heavy toll on me. I felt that it is harder for me to socialize with the new bunch of friends (although i admit that they were friendly towards me) because of the guilt in my heart. Every year, i was forced to depart from some of my closest friends who graduated, which grieves me a lot. If i pray to God, things may improve for a while and i feel better at times. However, in the end, THINGS STILL DOESN'T CHANGE!

I felt powerless and useless at times. As years go by, i was forced to depart from my friends until i no longer keen in socializing in university, church, etc like i used to be (because even though i went into socializing, i will be forced to depart from them anyway in the end) and gradually i withdrew myself from other ppl and sunk into the pit of depression. My friends had asked me to look beyond the circumstances and believe in God and miracles. I had put my trust in Him and yet i failed to see God's presence in my life.

Nobody has really achieved anything at 24 or 25... in the Spirit of Christ you have to get up and strive forward. You have to sow in order to reap, and that means you have to work hard and work smart. You are vague about your situation, so I have no idea the cause of the trouble.

What I do know is regardless of blocks, you have to get up again. I worked menial jobs in my twenties, and it looked like I would be stuck there. Granted, I did so out of my own choices and I accepted my own choices.

You have to have faith in God that if you strive and work hard, and seek first the Kingdom of God, all else will be added to you.

I literally forsook college and any sort of career in my early twenties, taking that charge literally. I then worked menial jobs for many years afterwards, but around 27 started an upward climb as the Lord blessed the work of my hands.

What are jobs are is not what makes us, however. Jesus was a humble carpenter until He was 30.

Paul worked on tents. Some of the apostles were fishermen. We have no idea what Elijah did, but John the Baptist lived in the wilderness off honey and grasshoppers.

David was a shepard before he was a king.

It may be - if you studied as hard as everyone else - the direction of a career you are trying to go in simply is not for you.

It can be very, very hard to be alone and in one's twenties and not feeling one has become the success everyone else has been. One can not imagine one's future. I never imagined that I would have a huge house and fat income doing work I love.

So, look out for thinking you know the future. Or that you feel you have missed out on anything. You should first seek to think of God's will, then seek to think of your own will. That is the best way.

If you do this and feel that things are not going a way tolerable to you... then look and see what you want. What do you really want? Our wants and desires can the source of much pain when we do not get what we want.

What we really want in life is not the illusion of success of a career... this can be hard to see at your age, but money, material success... these things are illusions. They are a circus kept to quiet the ears from hearing the horrible truth: into this world naked, living through this world naked, and dying we go naked. Take away the trappings of such material gains... and a person's circus disappears... they find themselves with what matters. Their own self.

And they can't stand the sight of their own self.

Lights, music, fun, bright colors, flashy material things... anything of the world, even friends and family... you have to see that everyday the reality is: you and God.

Be wary of worldly influences, especially through philosophies and such the world teaches... and study Scripture. The way following Jesus, if one wishes to get deeper in the faith, is not easy by appearance... but if one actually does it, they find there is a hidden world of wonder.