hi

[Jo1]

hi im new to this part of the forum. I dont really know really if I should be posting here, I have been going on depression a lot. I have been struggling with this issue since beginning of this year. Having the self-harm thoughts and wanting to hurt myself. Currently receiving non-christian counselling which is what I wanted to get this time. I didnt want people telling me that its black and white in christian terms.
Having found this so difficult and have not even being able to talk to husband on how down I have been feeling, where as I have always shared everything with him, thankfully we have a generally good relationship.
Since January I have probably have had one good straight week which was my best. But have been going low regular once a week.
I dont know why I feel this way, I guess it all started beginning of year. I lost as it seemed all my friendships wasnt going to church much, as we were visiting other churches at time. Ive always struggled where I am, church wise but I know God wants us there. I guess goin into this was my way of coping or not coping more like. I dont know where it ends, really.
Anyway thanks for listening. love Joxxx

 

[Terax]

Aw you need to find some people that you can talk to about this. Finding some hobbies and things to distract yourself can help too. I really hope the counseling helps some.

 

[TheMainException]

There are few things that are black and white...most everything else is gray. The ten commandments and other very strict commandments of God are mostly black and white...but there's gray just about everywhere. I've never much liked christian counseling either. I'm not interested in being told that SI is a sin...cuz that makes me feel just WONDERFUL about what I did to myself and why does it even matter? God is the holy healer...he died for my sins. He's the only one who matters and feeling worse won't make anyone feel better. He loves you and wants you to feel better. No chrisitan counselor should make you feel bad and there's nothing wrong with secular counseling if it works for you (it helped me).

Are you on any meds? I don't like the way they make me feel, but I like the feeling they give better than the feeling wanting to crawl into a hole and lose consciousness for all eternity.

If you have found a church, latch on, don't let go and get involved anywhere you think you might possibly fit well. If you just go on sundays, you'll make friends, but you won't make many. If you get involved, you can make lots of friends and get some close friends that you may be able to confide it eventually.

January is a long time ago...are you getting exercise? Spending time in the sun? have you tried writing things down, getting it out on paper? Meditation? Praying? Try things that make you focus your energies else where or pour your pain out in a nonphysical way such as writing or exercising. I've also found that helping people has helped me in so many ways.

And you can PM me if you ever need to talk one on one...I come on quite a bit.

love and blessings from the father to your heart,
TME