Hi,
I joined this forum with the hope of getting advice ... my husband and I have been married a little over a year and it feels like everything is falling apart. I'm the only Christian in my family (I'm an adult convert) and I feel as though I lost my church community when I got married. We both have trauma in our past, but I have gone to a counselor for years and am on medication and finally feel stable for the first time in my life, personally. He is former military and used to smoke/watch porn/play video games for 24 hours a day. He had stopped when we were dating and we got married after a year because of the pressures of sex and we both loved each other. Now, he has been playing video games nonstop and is lying to me about smoking weed. His mom gave it to him and he gets mean or really "dumb" (foggy) on it. He has ADD pretty bad. I know I shouldn't probably, but I do all the cleaning, bills, organize his stuff for college, print things out, and he plays video games ... I have a tendency (wrongly) to throw temper tantrums to get him to snap out of this immature world, and he says he needs to lie to me to keep the peace. He says he needs the weed. He says I shouldn't care what he does in his free time, even if it is playing World of Warcraft for 8+ hours a day. He says I am being controlling ... maybe I am ... I just know that I am so incredibly unhappy. I feel almost used whenever we are intimate because he will get up to play video games after a while. It's cyclical ... sometimes he will stop, sometimes he will binge ... I used to be a missionary and I am completely at a loss. Please help. I called our pastor and he met with my husband but it didn't really help ... he says he's just processing the fear of starting college again and needs the weed and video games to get through ... am I crazy for hating this?
I joined this forum with the hope of getting advice ... my husband and I have been married a little over a year and it feels like everything is falling apart. I'm the only Christian in my family (I'm an adult convert) and I feel as though I lost my church community when I got married. We both have trauma in our past, but I have gone to a counselor for years and am on medication and finally feel stable for the first time in my life, personally. He is former military and used to smoke/watch porn/play video games for 24 hours a day. He had stopped when we were dating and we got married after a year because of the pressures of sex and we both loved each other. Now, he has been playing video games nonstop and is lying to me about smoking weed. His mom gave it to him and he gets mean or really "dumb" (foggy) on it. He has ADD pretty bad. I know I shouldn't probably, but I do all the cleaning, bills, organize his stuff for college, print things out, and he plays video games ... I have a tendency (wrongly) to throw temper tantrums to get him to snap out of this immature world, and he says he needs to lie to me to keep the peace. He says he needs the weed. He says I shouldn't care what he does in his free time, even if it is playing World of Warcraft for 8+ hours a day. He says I am being controlling ... maybe I am ... I just know that I am so incredibly unhappy. I feel almost used whenever we are intimate because he will get up to play video games after a while. It's cyclical ... sometimes he will stop, sometimes he will binge ... I used to be a missionary and I am completely at a loss. Please help. I called our pastor and he met with my husband but it didn't really help ... he says he's just processing the fear of starting college again and needs the weed and video games to get through ... am I crazy for hating this?
