Hi. My Name is......

[justanobserver]

What's a dry drunk?

How many days do I have to resist drinking before I can start saying, "I'm (this many days) sober? I haven't had a drink since Sunday (14th). Monday I decided that I would try to quit drinking in my thirties. I turned 40 yesterday (Tues), so I had hit my self-imposed deadline. Does that mean I can say I'm two days sober?

I know I have a problem because I've really really wanted a drink about a dozen times already! I keep telling myself to resist that first drink. That the first drink is the beginning of the end for me. I was thinking that venting about it on here would get me through for now, but my computer has been locked up for two days! It's just like God to point out the flaws in my plan, eh?

Am I putting too much pressure on myself to decide that I won't drink in my forties? Or, is a goal like this okay? I would really like to hear all of your healthy coping skills for recovery. I just can't physically get to AA meetings right now. Thanks for being here for me to talk to.

Hey kanga! to add what Lion of God said, its a person (to my understanding) who is staying sober opr betetr said as just not drinking but is not working to change, to better oneself, to find the strength, wisdom, mindset to want to change. for example: be like quit smoking because of and for the kids - well, if your heart aint in it, your gonna go back to smoking regardless of the kids. (trust me on that one...).

just because you stoppped drinking doesnt mean your in recovery if your not changing/bettering yourself/working your steps.

as far as physicallt attendingmeetings - AA does have a live chat board but I never been on it. You can poist here as often and much as needed/wanted. use this site to vent, express, get it out, etc. darn good chance someone else will do the same sooner or later!

your not alone here. you got friends.

one diea that came to mind, dont know if its feasable or what but maybe you can contact AA or CR and perhaps hold a meeting at your place? just a thought only.

if nothing lese, read the Big Book of AA if you have it and if you dont, you can go to the web site and find it there for sale or call the lcoal AA chapter near you and se where there you can opurchase one or you can maybe find one at a used book store - i've seen them there before.

Another option for that is the big book is on line and you can read it there.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

I do tho, strongly urge you to have some form of contact with others in AA as it will strengthen, encourage, be helpful and its a good thing to be with others thatr are going thru the same exact thing.

And you got us here too! (just wanted to say that to you again)

 

[mustang_94]

Wow mustang_94! 21 years! That is great!

Guess you took them seriously when they said, "keep coming back!"

I'm finding the more I learn to take it one day at a time the better I am.

There is no credit due. If you keep hitting yourself in the head with a hammer, it just feels good to stop doing that. Plus the fact that I feel reasonably sure it has kept me out of prison and alive.

 

[Terri]

There is no credit due. If you keep hitting yourself in the head with a hammer, it just feels good to stop doing that. Plus the fact that I feel reasonably sure it has kept me out of prison and alive.

OK, sorry.

 

[kanga22]

just because you stoppped drinking doesnt mean your in recovery if your not changing/bettering yourself/working your steps.

Okay.

as far as physicallt attendingmeetings - AA does have a live chat board but I never been on it. You can poist here as often and much as needed/wanted. use this site to vent, express, get it out, etc. darn good chance someone else will do the same sooner or later!

your not alone here. you got friends.

Thank you.

one diea that came to mind, dont know if its feasable or what but maybe you can contact AA or CR and perhaps hold a meeting at your place? just a thought only.

Good idea. Something for me to look into.

if nothing lese, read the Big Book of AA

Yes. I found it online and am working my way through it. That is how I realized that, YES, I am an alcoholic. I've suspected it for years, and dh has accused me of it on occasion, but now I know that I have a problem with alcohol. No question about it anymore.

I do tho, strongly urge you to have some form of contact with others in AA as it will strengthen, encourage, be helpful and its a good thing to be with others thatr are going thru the same exact thing.

So I shouldn't tell people, who aren't alcoholics, that I am one - and try to go to them when I need support to avoid that first drink? Do you tell your friends and people you hang out with, so they aren't tempting you all the time? Should I tell my husband? I know, I'm just full of questions....

Telling my dh about all this might start the process of divorce and him trying to get custody of the kids. Our marriage is shaky right now. Is it important, for my recovery, that I tell him? I feel like a wife who's run up credit card debt behind her husband's back and is afraid to tell him. My dh has NO idea about the drinking I've been doing in the last few months because he's out on the road for work all the time.

And you got us here too! (just wanted to say that to you again)

Thank you.

 

[Garnet2727]

There is no credit due. If you keep hitting yourself in the head with a hammer, it just feels good to stop doing that. Plus the fact that I feel reasonably sure it has kept me out of prison and alive.

True, that.

 

[PrairieGurl]

True, that.

Hey Garnet How goes that smoking thingie? Or the lack of it ?

 

[PrairieGurl]

And to all the previous posters


And I get it...but I guess cause I'm not "doing it"...I'm a lost cause.

 

[Garnet2727]

Hey Garnet How goes that smoking thingie? Or the lack of it ?

Still not smoking and still grouchy hence my decrease in posting in CF lately. I've noticed that I've bitten a few people in GA which is not fair to them nor does it reflect well on me. It's been two weeks now, so I think it's safe to say that the nicotine is out of my system. But the habits...I'm still struggling with triggers and wanting to drink...badly. So far, I've not caved in to the desire to smoke or drink and it does get a little easier every day.

 

[LoG]

I just can't physically get to AA meetings right now. Thanks for being here for me to talk to.

Another option for AA meetings are these sites : www.e-aa.org and http://www.stayingcyber.org. I used to go there a great deal when I wasn't able to get to many f2f meetings. The second one especially can get pretty busy. The first one has actual online meetings in addition to their forums.

IM's are also a great way to keep some contact with others following a similar path. You are more than welcome to add me to any IM's you have but if your marriage is already a bit shaky it may not be such a great idea. Perhaps some of the ladies here would be willing to do so.

 

[kanga22]

Another option for AA meetings are these sites : www.e-aa.org and http://www.stayingcyber.org. I used to go there a great deal when I wasn't able to get to many f2f meetings. The second one especially can get pretty busy. The first one has actual online meetings in addition to their forums.

IM's are also a great way to keep some contact with others following a similar path. You are more than welcome to add me to any IM's you have but if your marriage is already a bit shaky it may not be such a great idea. Perhaps some of the ladies here would be willing to do so.

Thanks for the links! I've been reading through some posts on the first one and am getting lots of great information. It also makes me want a drink - to think about how much work I have ahead of me. But, I know that if I don't do the work, and resist that first drink, then I will lose all the blessings I have in my life.

I didn't have a drink today. I really wanted one about a half dozen times, but I didn't have it. Until now I didn't realize that I have been drinking more and more everyday for the last eight months! Now I am going through physical withdrawal that I don't remember experiencing before. The last time I had a multi-month drinking binge was before I turned 21.

It would be great to have the ability to IM another woman here. Lion of God, I appreciate your offer, but I have to agree with you that IMing with a man is a bad idea for me right now. I'd love to have people who I could call when I'm feeling weak, IM is the second best solution I've heard.

So far I've been able to resist that first drink (sober 4 days). I know that I need to get myself into the AA program and working the steps. I need to be better prepared for the day that I start to forget why I stopped. I know I will start thinking that I can handle drinking as if I'm not an alcoholic. I know that. It's just a matter of time. I will need to have the safety net in place.

 

[kanga22]

I didn't drink today. And I'm feeling better.

Am planning to discuss my need to keep alcohol out of the house with dh when he gets home Monday.

 

[justanobserver]

Hi timbo3. welcome to the recovery forum and to this thread!

quite an interesting post about alcohol use you posted there.

Are you an alcoholic or have problems with drinking? In your post, you ask "What help is available for those who misuse alcohol?" There are different options out there depending on the severity, your needs, etc. there is outpatient, inpatient as in a rehab clinic, AA or similiar organizations meetings you can attend as often as the meetings are being held, and they are free. On this site, there are good folks with time and experience in sobriety that would be happy to help you if they can.

Some here are christian, some are not but the bottom line is we all suffer from alcoholism and we come here to share, help, exhort, be a friend.

So, I welcome you to the thread.

hope we see more of you.

 

[justanobserver]

I didn't drink today. And I'm feeling better.

Am planning to discuss my need to keep alcohol out of the house with dh when he gets home Monday.

hey kanga! another day without a drink - this makes day 5? am so happy for you. congratulations! You will be in my thoughts about your sobreity as well as your upcoming chat with dh.

I need to log off but wanted to say hi before I went.


Norm

 

[BigToe]

Kanga, I'm so proud that you're taking steps to take care of yourself. I hope the chat with your husband goes well and that he is understanding and encourages you to continue not drinking.

 

[timbo3]

Hi justanobserver,
I am not an alcoholic nor have I had problem with alcohol, but rather am a sincere Bible student that realizes the serious tests faced by those who are. I ended my response with a question and will provide detailed information to that question.

Timbo3

 

[justanobserver]

Hi justanobserver,
I am not an alcoholic nor have I had problem with alcohol, but rather am a sincere Bible student that realizes the serious tests faced by those who are. I ended my response with a question and will provide detailed information to that question.

Timbo3

I appreciate your being a sincere bible student but am curious when you say options in recovery - that has been discussed thru out this thread as in AA, CR, and other means. If you know of a outpatient/inpatient clinic or a new AA style group that has meetings that others here might want to check out, please feel free to post that info.

But this is not a "test" as you commented: this is a real disease that the folks here are working on thru different means to overcome and come to this site for support with other alcoholics in recovery or seeking recovery.

As I stated before, most here are christians and do know their bible and apply it to their lives; some here are not christian and do not apply scripture to their lives. This thread is where different people have a commonality where when we meet here we can share our fears, experience, strength and hope.

If you have any questions about alcoholism or what it is like for an alcoholic in recovery, pelase dont hesitate to ask here. there are good folks here that are recovering alcoholics that would be more than happy to help you.

 

[justanobserver]

timbo3 - are you quoting from some source?? if so, could you post the link as to what and who you are quoting? or is all this your personal writings?

it might be easier if you post the link to the site your quoting from and maybe a short paragraph of what it is your linking to.

you mentioned your are not an alcoholic or a problem drinker - might I ask what your searching for or seeking here in the recovery forum??

do you have a specific question about recovery or needing to know the signs of someone with a drinking problem? thu out this thread, there are posts that have the links to AA, CR, Al Anon and other recovery oriented sites.

if you are searching for a specific one, just post the quesiton and am sure you will get a responce. we are here to help!

 

[BigToe]

Hey justanobserver, how are you doing? *snuggle*

 

[kanga22]

6 days! The people in the chat room at aa.org told me to pick up the phone and call the number I had for a local group. I did, got the cell ph. number of someone I can call, and the time of a daytime meeting on Monday.

Hope everyone who checks in here is doing well with their sobriety.

 

[BigToe]

Kanga, that's great news. Congrats on 6 days. And I'm glad you got the time of a daytime meeting.