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formykidsiwill said:

Good Morning Wendy!

I hope your dentist apt. goes okay, your braver than me..but that's a wise choice.

The birthday party was nice, being around family is always good. My son's birthday is actually today, Sep 11th. He wanted to stay home from school, lol. I told him no, never know when you might need those sick days.

Blessings,
B~

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WantToBe said:

Good Afternoon Brandy

Brave??? Nah, just going with other peoples prayers for the lack of my bravery.
Answer to prayer...the specialist could repair the root/tooth...so NO oral surgeon for me I'm going into debt with this whole dentist thing...but that only bugs my husband. My choice is repair the 'tooth' damage or wait and end up in the hospital hooked up to iv for a week...debt is my better option I believe.

Glad the B-day party turned out

With s & s,
Wendy

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formykidsiwill said:

Hi Wendy! Good, no surgery. Yeah, I've heard of near death from a tooth infection. YIKES..

Anyhow, I really hate this disease. I kind of feel like I've been barely staying off the booze lately. I KNOW I can't safely drink but it still 'crosses' my mind, and no matter how much I talk about it that won't go away. I just don't know how to deal with life! Not that life is treating me all that bad lately, actually it's very good. What it comes down to now is do I REALLY want sobriety. At times I have to remind myself where I've been because there is still a part of me that wants to drink.
I don't miss the drinking but I miss the buzz. Can anyone relate? Surely... Only, I know that with that buzz I'll get a whole world of problems, and I don't want that. I really lack the motivation to pour myself into helping others too. I mean, I just analyze life so much that finding someone who REALLY wants help isn't easy. That's the only way to get out of myself, and I'm just struggling with it right now. I just wanted to share. If anyone has any advice I'm open.
Blessings,
B~

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WantToBe said:

Brandy...Relate, that's an understatement ... yes I miss the 'buzz'...but not the day after. The other day (don't know if I shared this already, bear with me if I have ) The other day I had such a good day...I wanted to go out and celebrate by haveing a few drinks. What's up with that? (didn't have those celebration drinks )
I find Brandy...on a good day I think less about drinking,
but on those bad days (that we all have) I'm near drooling for a buzz.

All I can do for you is (which is a GREAT thing) and I can send you HUGE s!
Wendy

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formykidsiwill said:

If anyone has any advice I'm open

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Lion of God said:

Meetings only play a small part in helping us to stay sober. The obsession to drink or "craving" is removed by God, through the working of the Steps, which results in a "spiritual awakening". Not just Steps 1,2 and 3 but all of them.
It would be great if I could say to just go to meetings and everything will be hunky-dory but I would be lying. It is through Step 4 that I learned what my triggers are and why I liked that "buzz" so much. It was through the other Steps were I looked to God or my Higher Power to remove those defects of character that caused my desire for a buzz. It was also through those Steps were I had to develop some of the humility necessary for putting my dependence on God as opposed to depending on my own willpower. Lastly it was through the Steps were I learned what I had to share with others to help them find contented sobriety.
A saying in AA is that you can't give away what you haven't got. Not trying to insult you or anyone else on the board. If you have already worked all the Steps please accept my deepest apologies for what I am assuming. If you have not tackled the Steps but are willing to, I am more than willing to help out in whatever way I can.

With that in mind, I recently asked for a new forum to discuss the 12 Step recovery program here at CF. We could use a few more posts there to hopefully sway Erwin to set one up. Please show your support there:
http://www.christianforums.com/t3336150-12-step-forum-subforum.html

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Lion of God said:

Meetings only play a small part in helping us to stay sober. The obsession to drink or "craving" is removed by God, through the working of the Steps, which results in a "spiritual awakening". Not just Steps 1,2 and 3 but all of them.
It would be great if I could say to just go to meetings and everything will be hunky-dory but I would be lying. It is through Step 4 that I learned what my triggers are and why I liked that "buzz" so much. It was through the other Steps were I looked to God or my Higher Power to remove those defects of character that caused my desire for a buzz. It was also through those Steps were I had to develop some of the humility necessary for putting my dependence on God as opposed to depending on my own willpower. Lastly it was through the Steps were I learned what I had to share with others to help them find contented sobriety.
A saying in AA is that you can't give away what you haven't got. Not trying to insult you or anyone else on the board. If you have already worked all the Steps please accept my deepest apologies for what I am assuming. If you have not tackled the Steps but are willing to, I am more than willing to help out in whatever way I can.

With that in mind, I recently asked for a new forum to discuss the 12 Step recovery program here at CF. We could use a few more posts there to hopefully sway Erwin to set one up. Please show your support there:
http://www.christianforums.com/t3336150-12-step-forum-subforum.html

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justanobserver said:

I go thru this a lot. Somedays its hardly a thought and other days I have actually gotten scared about how at times almost overpowering the desire can be and can I be strong enough?

For various and sundry reasons (I know, thats redundant!), I share a house with my step dad's brother, my "step-uncle". We drank a lot in the past together, went to many a bar and sat in the front room watching tv with our individual favorite beverage. He still drinks, his beer is in the fridge when I open it to get my sun tea or the wine rack will be full (and with some of my favorite whites and varietals) or when I reach up in the cabinet to get out some spices for cooking, there will be the tequila, VO, etc.

When I am not at work or out to a meeting or store or something, I pretty much stay in my room. Somedays it dont bother me and other days I have to almost run out of the house and get away. Due to various reasons, I cant move at this time although I am getting where I can start planning to maybe a year from now afford my own place.

But, (getting back on track), be it having the stuff around me or just my disease or both, I will have deires for a glass of certain white wines or beer or liquor/soda mix and it would beboth for the buzz AND to get drunk.

It bothers me that I cant do some things or enjoy some things, sometimes I take it as a personal weakness and I get resentful about it but its my fact of life, my reality.

I know beyond any shadow of any doubt that I could not have just one beer or one glass of wine. No way. After theone, I would want 2 then 5 then I would be at the store buying a bottle and tomorrow calling in to work with some lame escuse why I am "sick" and cant come in.

But I do know what your talking about - I go thru it just about everyday in one way or another. For me, there are some days where I want to say forget it and drink. Who would know? Who would care? Thats what my disease tells me. Just one day at a time, somedays its one hour at a time.

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formykidsiwill said:

Thanks for the support.

(you too Wendy)

Love,
B~

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WantToBe said:

Hi Everyone!

Today is my 2nd month of sobriety.

In one way (because I see the 'improvements' in my life) it seems like it's been a while since I depended on the bottle (and a few other things)...and yet in another way, it seems like it was just yesterday.

To focus on the positive...I am back at work. My reactions to negativity are now praying, deep breathing, and getting away by myself if need be. I am so fortunate that I did not lose my job and that I enjoy my job SO much.

My main reason for living is no longer getting the next 'buzz'.

I am thankful that Norm started this thread, is honest in his sharing, and sharing his wisdom. B~ for your constant incouragement. And Lion of God for starting the 12 Step Program 'section' and sharing your wisdom here.

With a Grateful Heart,
For the support, acceptance, prayer and Love
s & s,
Wendy

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justanobserver said:

Thanks for the thoughts but am not sure what your referring to??

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