Hi Everyone!!

[Bevlina]

Our new forum is here for Widows and Widowers!
Time for us to start and use it!!

 

[CountryLady]

Thank you so much Bevlina. I am looking forward to talking to other people. Thank you, it's greatly appreciated.

 

[robert adams]

Thanks Bevlina, I appreciate it that this forum is available

 

[Bevlina]

So do I Bob!! Praise God we have it!!

 

[leanne708]

thanks for this forum.Its so much easier to speak to those who understand what u going through .

 

[Danfrey]

Sister,

My heart goes out to you. I thought I was very young.

 

[leanne708]

I still question so much.today i cant sleep again i feel like after the first year im feeling worse and people are getting frustrated with me.they just expect me to move on.

 

[Danfrey]

I will never stop loving my wife. As far as moving on, I don't think that is possible. It is more like starting over. It is interesting. I think when people push us to move on, it is because some how they think they are helping. What helps, is to let me talk about the spouse I love and miss. They don't have to make it better, just listen.

Dear sister, don't let anyone tell you when it is time to move on. This is a loss that only those who have experienced it understand. And, the dynamic is different for each of us.

I am dealing with the loss in the way that Candice and I dealt with so many things. Throwing frying pans across the room.....no really I am dealing with her parting with humor whenever I can. Not everyone can handle this. I think they are afraid that however they respond will be wrong or will hurt me. For instance, when credit card applications come in the mail in her name, I like to joke about how irresponsible it is to issue a credit card to a dead person. I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but we dealt with almost everything with humor.

 

[BarbB]

I still question so much.today i cant sleep again i feel like after the first year im feeling worse and people are getting frustrated with me.they just expect me to move on.

Leanne, the second year was almost more difficult than the first year. I began to be unable to picture Dave in my mind. But there were still those "firsts" to get over. Like the first time driving on a certain road without him. Anyway, to make a long story short, I did end up in counselling with a Christian Psychologist. I was/had been on Paxil anyway from before Dave died. So we got my dose upped and he taught me to just go with the grief which I had been shoving to the back of my mind. Hard, but worth it.

I'm off the Paxil now - with the help of Jesus I had NO physical withdrawal symptoms. I'm crabby now, but not depressed!

p.s. The psychologist practiced under the auspices of the church I was attending at the time. I was VERY grateful. Even later I called him when my little dog died in my arms and he called me back to cry with me! What a great guy!

About the idea that you should just get on with it, my stepdaughter asked if she could fix me up with someone the week after we buried her father. And yes, she's not very well mentally!

 

[robert adams]

Leanne and others,

I "emotionally crashed and burned" in an ''overcoming depression" session at church. It was quite humbling but helped me stabilize quite a bit,

I still have bouts when certain memories show up - I tend to deal with them better now,