Hi all. Need advice.

[Eleora1]

Sorry I've been away so long. My dad was in the hospital for nearly two months and my daughter is graduating this weekend. So, I've been really tied up.

Anyway, I need some advice on how to react to a friend's circumstance - some good biblical advice.

I have a friend who is 60 years old. She is a lovely lady. However, she has a tremendous character defect that I fear will ruin her life.

This lady is married to a sweet man who adores her. However, she is not satisfied with him. She says that he was a "marriage of convenience." Well, for several years now, she has been corresponding with and meeting this very wealthy man. He buys her expensive presents and sends her on long European vacations.

She is obsessed with this man. I'm not sure if it is the lifestyle that he affords her or if it is actually him. I have to believe that it is the former because this man is a real snake. Her carries on the same way with other women too. Further, he has the most incredible ability to play people against each other that I've ever seen, and he's even been caught saying horrible things about my friend to these other women he chases. In short, he's a real serpent - smooth tongue, cunning, but altogether deceitful.

Well, a few months ago, she swore him off after we had a long drawn out discussion. Then, as time wore on, she was contacting him again. Now, she's scheduled for yet another European trip, and given her financial situation and his schedule (he will be there too) there's no doubt in my mind that he is footing the bill and she will be meeting him again.

In summary, I'm worried about her future and her marriage. This man is almost like a drug that she is addicted to. Plus, he knows just how to entice her by generously throwing money at her. Her poor husband cannot compete. I fear that he will eventually file for divorce as he has threatened to before. And, wouldn't you know it. When her husband threatened divorce, the first thing this woman did was to contact her rich male friend. This man then proceeded to get the heck out of Dodge for several weeks, leaving her in her misery.

So, what do I do? Do I wash my hands of this situation after trying for several years to talk some sense into her? Or, do I - once again - try? Couple more things... This woman is not a Christian. She is also very beautiful which renders her vain and self-centered. She thinks she is entitled to the lifestyle this man can give her.

Help!!!!

 

[country woman]

this women defenently needs prayer. she is confused this man is just using her. She needs a friend who can gently talk to her. if she does not stop this she will lose everything, she needs to talk to a professional.

 

[Eleora1]

this women defenently needs prayer. she is confused this man is just using her. She needs a friend who can gently talk to her. if she does not stop this she will lose everything, she needs to talk to a professional.

That's my biggest fear for her, that she'll lose everything. I've pointed out the obvious for years now and, while she acknowledges that this man is a snake, she always goes back to him. He has a hold on her, and he knows she can be bought. It's a really sad situation. To be honest, I'm about ready to just divest myself of the whole matter and just pray for her.

 

[ElElena]

It's been over a month since this situation was posted.

I thought I'd write something here because I had the time.

It is hard to see other people even other Christian people dig themselves a grave so to speak.

I think it's great you had the courage to write about it.

A long time ago I was told of a certain set of teachings that were trying to be taught in churches. A friend of mine tried to be a counselor for one of those type of groups. They went about telling fellow Christians to Work out their own problems. I think they said, Work out your own program. Basically they kind of helped one another to learn to stick to their own business. It's not easy but there is a Scripture in the new testament that says something about minding your own business and leading a quiet life.

All I'm trying to say is sometimes I think we do well to do all we can to help others and if we see our advice or help isn't appreciated it may be best for us to back and let them eat the bitter fruit of having their own way. It may be the only way they will ever see their need for the Savior.

Prayer is always important. When you see something or hear of things that you know warrant much prayer then give it.

There is a balance to what I have shared here. Sometimes you step in and help more than other times.

This just seemed like one of those times when you've done all you can do and it is possibly time to step back and wait.

I hope this is helpful to someone.

God bless you for caring so much.