Hesitant but...

[xmissjasmine]

I'm going to go with it and post anyways... Some of you remember my firestarter of a thread about praying.. while it was an interesting issue it was not my intention to cause strife or division...anyways I have another issue I'm yet needing more help with.

As most of you already know from the previous thread, my husband is a preacher. He recently announced his calling and began preaching in our church around 6 months ago. I support him fully and sincerely believe he is doing what God has called him to do and wants him to do.

However, I find I'm growing a bit weary for lack of better words. I know God has chosen us for eachother, and I know God obviously trusts us with the roles He's placed us in or else He wouldn't have done it. But I find myself recently becoming a bit resentful at the fact that my husband doesn't have much time for family it feels.... He does his best, talking with people who call when they need advice, preparing his sermons, helping with ministries, helping at Bible study etc... but sometimes I feel like I'm alone with our children, ALOT and because of that I find myself getting a bit bitter when it's time for him to whisk off somewhere for a church event and I"m stuck home alone with the kids again....

I'm a SAHM. So I spend a lot of time with two little blessings and I love them dearly, but sometimes I'm ready for his help. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I just need him.. tonight for example he had to go to Bible Study. I don't go because the children are at an age where they disrupt and we don't have a sitter or a nursery option for them so I just stay home so that it doesn't disrupt Him or anyone else...but tonight he was in the house, ate, studied His Bible for a bit, had me help him look up a few things for his sermon this week, and boom, he was off again. Didn't come home til time to put the children to bed, and now it's bedtime for him so that he can head to work. Tomorrow night he'll study all night for preparing his sermon, and then the next night he'll preach...by the time he'll have any free time it'll be my night to work, and then by the time Saturday rolls around, he's going to head off to do another ministry in our area (one myself and the children aren't able to attend) that will take his entire evening.

It's like this week after week after week. I don't say much, I don't want him all to myself, and I want him to do God's work, but I want to be as equally excited about his work for God as he is...but ultimately I find myself bitter.

The devil has really used it these past few weeks to bring me down spiritually... I feel like a shell of what I should be... It's affecting me big time...

SO I guess my question is, is this normal? Will this pass? What should I do to help myself get past this? I support him 100% all the way... I just sort of would like some support back once in a while...

Thanks in advance.

 

[IisJustMe]

I'm going to go with it and post anyways... Some of you remember my firestarter of a thread about praying.. while it was an interesting issue it was not my intention to cause strife or division...anyways I have another issue I'm yet needing more help with.

As most of you already know from the previous thread, my husband is a preacher. He recently announced his calling and began preaching in our church around 6 months ago. I support him fully and sincerely believe he is doing what God has called him to do and wants him to do.

However, I find I'm growing a bit weary for lack of better words. I know God has chosen us for eachother, and I know God obviously trusts us with the roles He's placed us in or else He wouldn't have done it. But I find myself recently becoming a bit resentful at the fact that my husband doesn't have much time for family it feels.... He does his best, talking with people who call when they need advice, preparing his sermons, helping with ministries, helping at Bible study etc... but sometimes I feel like I'm alone with our children, ALOT and because of that I find myself getting a bit bitter when it's time for him to whisk off somewhere for a church event and I"m stuck home alone with the kids again....

I'm a SAHM. So I spend a lot of time with two little blessings and I love them dearly, but sometimes I'm ready for his help. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I just need him.. tonight for example he had to go to Bible Study. I don't go because the children are at an age where they disrupt and we don't have a sitter or a nursery option for them so I just stay home so that it doesn't disrupt Him or anyone else...but tonight he was in the house, ate, studied His Bible for a bit, had me help him look up a few things for his sermon this week, and boom, he was off again. Didn't come home til time to put the children to bed, and now it's bedtime for him so that he can head to work. Tomorrow night he'll study all night for preparing his sermon, and then the next night he'll preach...by the time he'll have any free time it'll be my night to work, and then by the time Saturday rolls around, he's going to head off to do another ministry in our area (one myself and the children aren't able to attend) that will take his entire evening.

It's like this week after week after week. I don't say much, I don't want him all to myself, and I want him to do God's work, but I want to be as equally excited about his work for God as he is...but ultimately I find myself bitter.

The devil has really used it these past few weeks to bring me down spiritually... I feel like a shell of what I should be... It's affecting me big time...

SO I guess my question is, is this normal? Will this pass? What should I do to help myself get past this? I support him 100% all the way... I just sort of would like some support back once in a while...

Thanks in advance.

I can tell you only that all marriages go through this kind of turmoil, and it requires openness, honesty, and hard work to get through it. Have you talked to your husband about it? Have you prayed with him about it? Have you prayed apart from him to examine your own heart? This time, as opposed to the "firestarter of a thread" to which you refer, I have to ask you why you are posting this on a public forum? This seems to be something that, before taking public, you should have worked very hard to resolve before it came to this point. But maybe I'm being overly conservative. Talk to him, and talk to Him. That's my best advice.

 

[renewed21]

Sorry for your troubles.

I would have to agree that coming here first probably isn't the best option, but I understand the desire to get your concerns out.

Tell your husband exactly what you posted here. No doubt you two will work on a constructive solution. Best wishes.

 

[xmissjasmine]

... why does everyone assume I've not talked to him... I have. He doesn't agree.. His take is that I am being jealous and that it's the devil trying to destroy His ministry though me...

 

[WilliamB]

Sometimes we get caught up doing what we love and can forget to love the ones right next to us. It's not intentional or a lack of love, it just happens. And that's why we need good, strong women in our lives, to give us balance but if you don't tell us, how can we know. I understand that something's should be obvious but life can tend to get away from us all. He's a new preacher and it sounds like he's just trying to do a real good job. Just talk to him and let him know how you feel, I'm sure he'll understand and you two can work out some solutions. Blessings!

 

[WilliamB]

... why does everyone assume I've not talked to him... I have. He doesn't agree.. His take is that I am being jealous and that it's the devil trying to destroy His ministry though me...

Well, this revelation negates my post.

 

[IisJustMe]

... why does everyone assume I've not talked to him... I have.

You didn't tell us that. You made no reference to a conversation with him. What else were we to assume? We can't respond properly without the whole story, can we?

He doesn't agree. His take is that I am being jealous and that it's the devil trying to destroy His ministry though me...

Not a healthy attitude for a Christian husband, to accuse his wife of working for Satan. Do you see any other signs of control or abuse from him? Because that's what this is. If that is indeed his response, he has become manipulative and petulant. A godly husband will prayerfully consider his wife's iinput, not put down disagreement as a sign of satanic influence.

 

[7angels]

THIS IS A SUBJECT THAT REQUIRES TEACHING BUT SINCE THERE IS NO TIME FOR THIS I WILL PUT OUT SOME POINTS FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT. if you have questions on what i post then feel free to ask and i will answer to the best of my ability.

marriage is God's idea. marriage was born in te heart of God out of love for mankind to bring them happiness, joy, and fulfillment. God created marriage for completeness and companionship as in a partnership. a christian marriage is a covendant between 2 people and Jesus Christ. marriage is supposed to be a blood covenant between people. if you don't understand covenant teaching i encourage you to study it because it will open your eyes.

God has a divine order for us and the bible is clear on the divine order for our lives. if we want to succeed in life and our marriage then we must work at keeping our priorities in line. the bible shows us that our relationships should be in this order: the Lord, our spouse, our children, and our ministry. i advise any one who struggles in this area to look up the scriptural guidelines for treating our mates.

communication is another important issue to help avoid miscommunication occurring between different parties to exchange information clearly and effectively.

being ignorant of our unwillingness to meet our mate's basic needs can open the door for the enemy to attack our marriage. which is why we need to learn to meet each others needs or one spouse or the other will eventually become dissatisfied and seek what they need from other sources.

we need to learn to be like Christ and follow his example. Christ does not neglect his family at all so why do we do it? if we cannot even raise up our children to follow the Lord how do we expect others to listen to us when our own family is falling apart. how are we to offer people advice on the proper way of living the Godly life when we cannot live the godly life ourselves. 8 out of 10 ministries fail within 5 years and 9 out of 10 ministries don't make it to retirement. so to help us aviod becoming one of these statistics we need to establish and maintain proper boundaries for ourselves in our lives and ministries. also we need to have someone to hold us accountable to put us back on track when we start to swerve. last we need to maintain a solid relationship with God and our spouse.

God bless

 

[Borromeo]

... why does everyone assume I've not talked to him... I have. He doesn't agree.. His take is that I am being jealous and that it's the devil trying to destroy His ministry though me...

#1 reason a young recently saved man shouldn't be given the position of leading a "ministry." His priorities are screwed up, and besides that, it is something older men with more life experience should be doing.

 

[savedfromdistruction]

I'm going to go with it and post anyways... Some of you remember my firestarter of a thread about praying.. while it was an interesting issue it was not my intention to cause strife or division...anyways I have another issue I'm yet needing more help with.

As most of you already know from the previous thread, my husband is a preacher. He recently announced his calling and began preaching in our church around 6 months ago. I support him fully and sincerely believe he is doing what God has called him to do and wants him to do.

However, I find I'm growing a bit weary for lack of better words. I know God has chosen us for eachother, and I know God obviously trusts us with the roles He's placed us in or else He wouldn't have done it. But I find myself recently becoming a bit resentful at the fact that my husband doesn't have much time for family it feels.... He does his best, talking with people who call when they need advice, preparing his sermons, helping with ministries, helping at Bible study etc... but sometimes I feel like I'm alone with our children, ALOT and because of that I find myself getting a bit bitter when it's time for him to whisk off somewhere for a church event and I"m stuck home alone with the kids again....

I'm a SAHM. So I spend a lot of time with two little blessings and I love them dearly, but sometimes I'm ready for his help. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I just need him.. tonight for example he had to go to Bible Study. I don't go because the children are at an age where they disrupt and we don't have a sitter or a nursery option for them so I just stay home so that it doesn't disrupt Him or anyone else...but tonight he was in the house, ate, studied His Bible for a bit, had me help him look up a few things for his sermon this week, and boom, he was off again. Didn't come home til time to put the children to bed, and now it's bedtime for him so that he can head to work. Tomorrow night he'll study all night for preparing his sermon, and then the next night he'll preach...by the time he'll have any free time it'll be my night to work, and then by the time Saturday rolls around, he's going to head off to do another ministry in our area (one myself and the children aren't able to attend) that will take his entire evening.

It's like this week after week after week. I don't say much, I don't want him all to myself, and I want him to do God's work, but I want to be as equally excited about his work for God as he is...but ultimately I find myself bitter.

The devil has really used it these past few weeks to bring me down spiritually... I feel like a shell of what I should be... It's affecting me big time...

SO I guess my question is, is this normal? Will this pass? What should I do to help myself get past this? I support him 100% all the way... I just sort of would like some support back once in a while...

Thanks in advance.

Normal? Well I suppose it depends on what you mean. If you mean does this happen far too much then it would be a resounding, YES! The problem here is that your husband has not learned how to handle his responsibilities as a husband and father. The Lord never intended the family to be neglected for His ministry. Your husband has misunderstood his responsibilities in his calling and needs to learn how to prioritize them.
Also I would say that in just reading this you two do not have a very good relationship in communication. I say that because you have had to go online to get answers when the two of you should be setting down and talking all your concerns and frustrations out. Again he holds the greater responsibility here to make that happen.
My advice to you is that you find an older and wiser godly man to counsel you both. Also I would suggest that you take this post of yours and show it to your husband so he at least knows your struggles. He is suppose to be the head and not allow this kind of thing to happen or at least correct it if it does.
However above all find a godly man who can set and talk to you both on this issue. God bless

 

[miamited]

hi xjasmine,

One of the great pitfalls of leading a fellowship is the time that is taken away from family. Perhaps the two of you should discuss letting others take on some of the responsibility of teaching some of the lesser bible study classes and perhaps, of course all of this depends on the size of your fellowship, having others who are responsible for some of the 'other duties' for which he probably gets lots of calls.

I think, however, that it is telling that the first apostles, once they took over the role of preaching and teaching to all the nations, don't seem to have spent much time with their families either.

Finally, although first on the list, take it to the Lord in prayer. Lay it out for God how lonely you feel in raising your children and ask Him to give you time with your husband.

Some of the things that I believe he should consider handing over to others, if others are available, is small group bible study. His job as overseer of a flock is just that, to 'oversee'. He doesn't have to actually 'do' everything. Part of the reason, I believe, that Paul teaches us about deacons in the church is to provide relief from a lot of the 24/7 work that members of a fellowship 'expect' from their pastor.

Another would be death and hospital visitation. Assign a deacon to take over that responsibility. When someone has died or is ill in the hospital and the congregant or other concerned individual calls him, he needs to be able to listen for 3-5 minutes and then say, "Let me have so-and-so call you back." Then he calls that deacon and gives him what he knows and hands it off.

He should, if he has someone answering the telephone at the worship center, be able to tell them that there are times that he is not available and either have them leave a message or have them call whoever handles that matter that they are calling about.

There are, I believe, several ways in which pastors can hand off a lot of what they do and still be an overseer. A lot of this depends, however, on the size of your fellowship. If you have a music director or chairman of the deacons, then he should assign a particular time each week to sit down with them and go over questions or issues. In his first meeting he should gently explain to them that the meeting time is his preference for dealing with all issues that are not some kind of emergency. In other words the music director shouldn't be calling him 5-6 times a week at various times to tell him what music selection is good and other questions regarding the music program. He should ask the music director to hold all these questions and issues until their meeting time. Now, will it work all the time? Of course not, but on a regular basis, if such things have been taking up some of his time, it will usually help.

Sadly, in our age of instant communication, it is not necessarily a blessing. Imagine that in Paul's day if someone needed to speak to Paul about something they had to go find him or send a messenger to hunt him down and so I imagine that a lot of the things that trouble pastors today never reached Paul's ears until they gathered together. Every little question didn't get answered immediately and yet, they still survived. They still grew strong.

But most importantly the two of you should pray together if it's what you both want. However, and I understand that you have spoken to your husband about this issue, is he wanting to make the time that you are requesting of him? Many people, in a lot of different jobs, just have this idea that nothing will work right if they don't do it themselves. Finding people that can be trusted to take on some of the responsibility can sometimes be tough and we need to pray about it and then hand it over and let it go. If mistakes are made, especially in the early stages, they probably won't be life threatening and just learn to accept them, offer more training to the one having problems, but try to stand back and let God do what God will do.

One of the greatest pastors I know from personal experience, once stood in the pulpit and clearly told everyone, "Look, my job as your pastor is to prepare a godly message from the word of God each week. To do that competently takes a lot of time and study and research. There are good people here who are assigned the task of handling other issues and my secretary will direct you to them when you call." He, of course drew it out a little longer, but that was the gist of the message. He was putting everyone on notice that he wouldn't be the one to talk to every time little Tommy got a runny nose or needed an operation and the parents were requesting prayer. He wouldn't be the one who took your call that your wife, child, parent, etc. was in the hospital or died. He established regular times that he devoted to putting together his message for Sunday and anyone calling during that time was simply told that he wasn't available. When he did do his study his cellphone was not with him. He would turn it off or leave it in his office. If the secretary deemed that it was really, really, really an emergency that he needed to handle right away, then she had to go get him in his study or wherever he was.

Today, I would recommend a second cellphone that only two or three of your most trusted and closest people would have the number to. Leave your regular one that is on your card or posted in the bulletin off and in your drawer when you want private time and take with you only the 'private' cellphone.

Of course, if the congregation has become used to contacting your husband about everything, then you will want to make these changes in a measured manner. Be careful, there may be some who find out that when they can't reach the pastor at their beck and call, that may take issue.

God bless you and I hope that some of this helps.
In Christ, Ted

 

[miamited]

BTW, I missed the addition that you had spoken with him and he wasn't fully on board with your request. Be careful and make sure that you are not asking for more than you deserve, but if you determine that your need is valid, then it might do good for you to gently encourage him to also study up on God's instructions for husbands. They are to love their wives as Jesus loves the church. So, while he may feel that his first priority is to love the church as Jesus loves the church, that isn't what the Scriptures say. He should understand that if he is to love you as Jesus loves the church, then he needs to be considerate and thoughtful about your needs. Jesus would do that for his church!

I too, take issue with a godly man who would tell his wife that she is a tool of Satan to tear down his ministry work. That's pretty harsh for one who loves his wife.

Again, God bless you.
IN Christ, Ted

 

[KatyDanes]

Dear sister.
You are not alone. Many men and women feel neglected because their spouse don't have their priorities right. I know an elderly couple where the man was also extremely busy with church and the wife was at home feeliing hopelessly isolated and overwhelmed with 6 children and she felt like second priority to her husband. Another man came along who was not godly and he took advantage of that situation... So things like these are very serious. I don't understand why people say you shouldn't go "public". This is a common problematic and you are using an anomymous forum. I'd say first of all, don't think you are a door mat. Jesus was humble and meek, but he was also no door mat. If your husband neglects you and the children, tell him and pray for him. If he will not listen, get a good Christian councellor from your church or elsewhere, that can be the objective party. Maybe your husband will listen to that. I am sure its a great temptation to go everywhere else than where God has placed you, in more exciting setting instead of alleviating the burden of a tired wife and changing dirty nappies. This temptation is as old as history. The words about being the devils tool is verbally and mentally abusive language, and you need to make it clear that this is not acceptable. Hugs to you

 

[98cwitr]

The best thing you can do is clearly tell him how you feel. Open communication is key in any relationship.

 

[xmissjasmine]

#1 reason a young recently saved man shouldn't be given the position of leading a "ministry." His priorities are screwed up, and besides that, it is something older men with more life experience should be doing.

With all due respect, he isn't "recently" saved. And furthermore, God has called him to preach, it's not something he chose. If you knew my husband you'd know for the most part he's pretty soft spoken (in public) and public speaking was not anything he ever wanted to do, let alone preach. Again, with all due respect, you didn't call him to it, therefore you can't possibly say he's not qualified to do it. I have no doubt he's doing what God has called him to do.


Also it seems as if I may have not been entirely clear. My husband is not a Pastor. He does not lead a congregation or a church. He simply preaches every other midweek service. He has no "ministries" that he's been assigned to, but rather they are ones he feels he needs to take part in.

We spoke again last night about things, and it wasn't much better. He's not abusive in the slightest, but I do agree that his comments about me a tool of Satan do upset me and are very far fetched. I tell him constantly I'm not satans tool and that I support him 100%...

I think I just feel that between his constant studies, then his going off to church functions that I can't attend with the children his family is not getting the time it needs.

Communication is a bit of an issue for us. Unless we talk about scripture, church, or family, we don't talk about much about anything else really.

I've recently told him I want us to try to rekindle things, almost as if we're dating all over again. And I've also downloaded an ebook that is a devotional for couples. Some of the questions are about our past, prior to being saved, and his answer is always "I don't like to think about that, I wasn't saved then"...

I want our passion for one another back! The one where you can't wait to get back to one another, ya know? I'm glad God has chosen him for me, but I just wish I didn't feel a wave of jealousy when he goes off to church events and I'm here at home alone, or when he heads off to his study room and I'm left caring for the children again on my own...

 

[bred11six]

I'm going to go with it and post anyways... Some of you remember my firestarter of a thread about praying.. while it was an interesting issue it was not my intention to cause strife or division...anyways I have another issue I'm yet needing more help with.

As most of you already know from the previous thread, my husband is a preacher. He recently announced his calling and began preaching in our church around 6 months ago. I support him fully and sincerely believe he is doing what God has called him to do and wants him to do.

However, I find I'm growing a bit weary for lack of better words. I know God has chosen us for eachother, and I know God obviously trusts us with the roles He's placed us in or else He wouldn't have done it. But I find myself recently becoming a bit resentful at the fact that my husband doesn't have much time for family it feels.... He does his best, talking with people who call when they need advice, preparing his sermons, helping with ministries, helping at Bible study etc... but sometimes I feel like I'm alone with our children, ALOT and because of that I find myself getting a bit bitter when it's time for him to whisk off somewhere for a church event and I"m stuck home alone with the kids again....

I'm a SAHM. So I spend a lot of time with two little blessings and I love them dearly, but sometimes I'm ready for his help. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I just need him.. tonight for example he had to go to Bible Study. I don't go because the children are at an age where they disrupt and we don't have a sitter or a nursery option for them so I just stay home so that it doesn't disrupt Him or anyone else...but tonight he was in the house, ate, studied His Bible for a bit, had me help him look up a few things for his sermon this week, and boom, he was off again. Didn't come home til time to put the children to bed, and now it's bedtime for him so that he can head to work. Tomorrow night he'll study all night for preparing his sermon, and then the next night he'll preach...by the time he'll have any free time it'll be my night to work, and then by the time Saturday rolls around, he's going to head off to do another ministry in our area (one myself and the children aren't able to attend) that will take his entire evening.

It's like this week after week after week. I don't say much, I don't want him all to myself, and I want him to do God's work, but I want to be as equally excited about his work for God as he is...but ultimately I find myself bitter.

The devil has really used it these past few weeks to bring me down spiritually... I feel like a shell of what I should be... It's affecting me big time...

SO I guess my question is, is this normal? Will this pass? What should I do to help myself get past this? I support him 100% all the way... I just sort of would like some support back once in a while...

Thanks in advance.

The first thing you should do is pray build yourself up in the Spirit. Encourage yourself find time to read and spend prayer with God that is communion. Tell God how you feel and He will tell you how to handle the situation. Please do not go to husband without being prayed up because what you will say won't come out of love or respect so its important that you are flowing in the Spirit for lovingly communication. If your Husband doesn't receive it right away give it some time God will deal with Him. He hears from God and God steps in always at the right time.
Any thoughts that take away your peace should be cast out in the name of Jesus those thoughts are meant to bring you down and bring you out of the joy of the Lord. You are a preacher's wife you need to be prayed up EVERYDAY! You need to close ALL doors to the devil Ephesians 4:27. Satan doesn't want your husband blessing others so he will look to attack from any direction and remember this is not about us its all about JESUS!

 

[WilliamB]

... why does everyone assume I've not talked to him... I have. He doesn't agree.. His take is that I am being jealous and that it's the devil trying to destroy His ministry though me...

Welcome to the archaic practice of one sided submission. This is what happens when people treat others like property, justified by a flawed and insecure view of scripture. I feel for you.

 

[Marcus Constantine]

The best advice I can give is to find a Christian marriage counselor. This might be another pastor, but whoever it is should be a licensed Christian counselor. A 3rd party will be able to objectively look at the situation and give both of you steps to move forward. It may be that he is neglecting his family. It may be that you are being selfish (I don't think this is the case but that is beside the point).

As a husband, the reality of me neglecting my family is just as important as the my wife's perception that I am. In other words, if my wife feels like I am neglecting my family, my primary priority at that point is to address that issue. It may that I just need to let her see the big picture, but it may be that I have to realize that my family comes before my ministry. For husbands, without the cohesiveness of their wife and family, there is no possibility of effective ministry.

Now go and find a good counselor!

 

[savedfromdistruction]

With all due respect, he isn't "recently" saved. And furthermore, God has called him to preach, it's not something he chose. If you knew my husband you'd know for the most part he's pretty soft spoken (in public) and public speaking was not anything he ever wanted to do, let alone preach. Again, with all due respect, you didn't call him to it, therefore you can't possibly say he's not qualified to do it. I have no doubt he's doing what God has called him to do.


Also it seems as if I may have not been entirely clear. My husband is not a Pastor. He does not lead a congregation or a church. He simply preaches every other midweek service. He has no "ministries" that he's been assigned to, but rather they are ones he feels he needs to take part in.

We spoke again last night about things, and it wasn't much better. He's not abusive in the slightest, but I do agree that his comments about me a tool of Satan do upset me and are very far fetched. I tell him constantly I'm not satans tool and that I support him 100%...

I think I just feel that between his constant studies, then his going off to church functions that I can't attend with the children his family is not getting the time it needs.

Communication is a bit of an issue for us. Unless we talk about scripture, church, or family, we don't talk about much about anything else really.

I've recently told him I want us to try to rekindle things, almost as if we're dating all over again. And I've also downloaded an ebook that is a devotional for couples. Some of the questions are about our past, prior to being saved, and his answer is always "I don't like to think about that, I wasn't saved then"...

I want our passion for one another back! The one where you can't wait to get back to one another, ya know? I'm glad God has chosen him for me, but I just wish I didn't feel a wave of jealousy when he goes off to church events and I'm here at home alone, or when he heads off to his study room and I'm left caring for the children again on my own...

[SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]Wow, I had no idea of the seriousness of this and that he was abusing you in this way by telling you that you are a "tool of satan." This is certainty not good. In all seriousness you need to bring this to the Pastor's attention as he needs to be dealt with by godly men and perhaps even through the church discipline process if he persists in this.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0][/SIZE][/SIZE]
What ever you do don't sweep this under the rug, apologize for him or make excuses for him. This is a serious issue and needs to be dealt with properly and quickly. If your pastor will not or can not help then find one that will. Your marriage is in trouble and this will not get better on its own. Until this is dealt with he really needs to step down from all ministry work assigned or not as his prayers will be hindered and his teachings will not be Spirit led because of how he is treating you.
[/SIZE]

He is to love you as the Lord loved the church giving himslef up for you. He is not told to love the ministry as Christ loved the ministry and giving himself up for that. Seek godly counsel before this gets any worse. God bless.

 

[Borromeo]

With all due respect, he isn't "recently" saved.

Ok, well your other thread made it sound very much like that is the case.
Ephesians 5:25-33

English Standard Version (ESV)

Wives and Husbands

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.