He's coming home to talk... what do I talk about?

[tryingtobe]

He said he wants to come home next week just to visit and talk. I don't know how to approach him without chasing him off again. I want to ask so many questions but I know he dosen't want to answer most of them. What should I stay away from talking about? Should I embrace him? I'm so nervous to talk to my own husband. I just don't want him to leave again (although I know he's only coming for a visit). Any advice is helpful.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I can't tell you how, but I think you should ask him what he wants out of you and the marriage. Unfortunately, I can't think of how you can ask that without it sounding really heavy, so I think you may just need to wait to hear what he says.

I would also suggest that you invite hi out on a date - sometign fun like a movie with no possibility of heavy discussion so he won't be afraid to go out.

 

[Godisgr8r]

That sounds like a good idea. A date, with no pressures to answer a lot of questions could be a good start. You may have to just start all over with your relationship and try to fix it that way.

 

[LynnMcG]

I would approach this prayerfully. I agree, that you want to be careful how you approach this. Listening is key I think. Remember, what you've done in the past hasn't helped, so pray to ask God to reveal this situation to you. To give you wisdom and to give you peace.

 

[lady4theallmighty]

Pray pray pray. Pray before he comes over for strength, for courage, for patience, for understand, for the right words to be on your lips, and for God to be on your tongue.

I am praying for you!

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Do you know when he's coming over yet? Do you have a close, preferably older and mature Christian woman to support you both before and after the meeting? This is gonna be difficult, and we don't always have to stand on our own - iron can't sharpen itself.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Don't agree to meet him at home. Meet him at a place where the two of you have had fun together. If home means misery to him guess what he'll feel when he gets there.

 

[Jrry]

All of these posts are great! We were never separated, but, we had to rebuild our marriage by 'dating' first and that includes conversation.

Our prayers are with you

God bless,
Jerry

 

[Ashyah]

Yes, that is so true meet him somewhere else. Keep it cool.
Don't meet where the problem is.
I didn't read all of your posts but, it sounds like he is ready to reconcile?
If he is make sure you see a pattern of change before going back.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

What's actually going on now? Did you talk yet?

 

[IamBlessd]

Over the past year my husband and I have been in the process of reconciling. At first, it was very difficult as he blamed for everything and took no responsiblity for his own actions or sins. I would never have guessed where God would bring us today. We are the BEST of friends and he is the most affectionate, caring, considerate, and kind person I have ever known. I am just in awe of God's wonderful grace. However, in the beginning it was difficult because I was ready to discuss heavy topics and this would only cause intense arguments and we would part ways angrily. I learned to just listen. He had things to say, and instead of jumping on everything he said to correct him or clarify "my side", i would just listen and take his points seriously. He needed to know I understood that he was hurt from our past before we could move forward. After doing this for a while, God finally removed the blinds from his eyes and he was able to see all the ways I was hurting too. Everyday now, at least once, he apologizes for things I thought I'd never hear him say. God is good and He is in control. We just have to have a willing and loving heart...and lots of patience and forgiveness!!! God bless!