Here's An Idea (humor)

[loribee59]

here's some light-hearted take on the war:

HERE'S AN IDEA:

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of one plan for peace. Here's the plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini and the rest of them 'good old boys'. We will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere," They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need, besides' most of what we give them is stolen or given to their army. The people who need it most get very little, if any anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.


Now, ain't that a winner of a plan?

~loribee59

 

[Didymus]

lol love it lets email it to congress right away .

 

[Ajnin]

Today at 01:37 PM loribee59 said this in Post #1 
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.  

Yeah, those U.N. "spies".   Oh wait, we're the ones that spy on the U.N., not the other way around. 

 

[JohnR7]

Today at 01:37 PM loribee59 said this in Post #1

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. 

We already withdrew our troops from the Philippines. We only have about 20,000 there as "advisors". They do not want us to fight on their soil, most likely because they do not want to have to send our soldiers home in a body bag. Also, having troops stationed there demoralized their country.

What they want is our technology to help them fight against the problem they are having there with the muslims.

 

[Memory's Flame]

**Licks the envelope shut and runs to the mail box**

I LOVE that idea!! Congress will love it too, I am sure

That is the best and funniest that I have heard... I absolutely LOVE it! Give yourself a pat on the back for me!

 

[JohnR7]

Today at 01:37 PM loribee59 said this in Post #1 

5) No "students" over age 21.

They can get lower education in their country, they do not even need to come here for our higher education tell they are at least 21 years of age. There is very little graduate level education available in China. They have to come here to continue their education, then they can go back to China to be a instructor or teacher. Even here in America graduate level courses can be limited. For example we have a good polymer graduate school here in Akron. There is most likely no where else you can go in the world to get the training you can here. Because it is supported by the local industry which happens to specialize in rubber products.

So of course we have people who come here from all over the world to study polymer science.

 

[Caedmon]

Today at 12:37 PM loribee59 said this in Post #1

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

Hey, that reminds me of something else I've seen on the forum.

im getting so sick and tierd of all this liberal anti american **** just goes to show you what ppl think of those who fought and died for under the AMERICAN FLAG its tiem to kick them out of this counrty if they dont like it here get the hell out and stay out

bolding mine

 

[coastie]

funny stuff, let's not try to alienate anyone though.

 

[Caedmon]

Here's a question:

Can I make a humorous thread composed of blunt sarcastic digs against the opposing political position too?

 

[Starscream]

Today at 12:37 PM loribee59 said this in Post #1

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
~loribee59

Does that include all us whities too that don't have Native American roots?

 

*crickets chirping*

 

No, I didn't think so.

 

[Blindfaith]

hj, I think you might want to think about that very carefully. If you are serious, I suggest you pm a mod first. Such as, coastie, Bear, Blynn, and see what they have to say.

 

[Memory's Flame]

It was just a light hearted joke; poking fun at what the rest of the world (or a lot of it) has said about America... Not meaning to offend anyone, just something for people to chuckle at...

 

[Aviyah]

thats the probelm around here ppl tend to get thier panties in a tight wad if you try to have a little humor ,escplialy the anti American, anti bush ,anti war, ones we dont want to offend noone now do we ,

 

[Caedmon]

Yesterday at 11:52 PM Starscream said this in Post #10

Does that include all us whities too that don't have Native American roots?

 

*crickets chirping*

 

No, I didn't think so.

Oh come on Starscream... We didn't take their land illegally. I mean, they didn't have any legislation, for goodness' sake. Heck, they didn't even have a government. They had no civilization! And they weren't a Christian nation, so they were definitely imperilled. What we did was an act of mercy and compassion. Why, if we hadn't brought them into the modern age, they would never have survived capitalism. And they would still be living in primitive skin tents, with no modern medicine, reduced to hunting wild buffalo on the plains...

 

[Caedmon]

"Ask the native peoples about Christian love"

 

[Caedmon]

Yesterday at 11:55 PM blindfaith said this in Post #11

hj, I think you might want to think about that very carefully. If you are serious, I suggest you pm a mod first. Such as, coastie, Bear, Blynn, and see what they have to say.

Ok, thanks

 

[loribee59]

Today at 06:55 AM humblejoe said this in Post #14



Oh come on Starscream... We didn't take their land illegally. I mean, they didn't have any legislation, for goodness' sake. Heck, they didn't even have a government. They had no civilization! And they weren't a Christian nation, so they were definitely imperilled. What we did was an act of mercy and compassion. Why, if we hadn't brought them into the modern age, they would never have survived capitalism. And they would still be living in primitive skin tents, with no modern medicine, reduced to hunting wild buffalo on the plains...

I dunno what to make of this, whether you're serious or being sarcastic...

For a required reading in high school, I read the book, "Bury my heart at Wounded Knee" I had to say, it changed the way I think about the Native Americans. I'd suggest you read it too...then maybe come back with a better understanding what the Native Americans put up with.

eh, that's ANOTHER topic that should be discussed elsewhere....but for now, let's just focus on the HUMOR; we Americans take it too seriously if we or other countries make fun of America & its people So, don't get your undies (skivvies) in a bunch over nothing...

~loribee59

 

[WayneH]

29th March 2003 at 02:44 PM JohnR7 said this in Post #6



They can get lower education in their country, they do not even need to come here for our higher education tell they are at least 21 years of age. There is very little graduate level education available in China. They have to come here to continue their education, then they can go back to China to be a instructor or teacher. Even here in America graduate level courses can be limited. For example we have a good polymer graduate school here in Akron. There is most likely no where else you can go in the world to get the training you can here. Because it is supported by the local industry which happens to specialize in rubber products.

So of course we have people who come here from all over the world to study polymer science.

gee John... and why is it Akron specializes in rubber products? duh - for the life of ME I do not know why...