- Sep 4, 2005
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A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy,"Sorry, sir, but
you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you
don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle,
and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried
repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly
then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where y'all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle,
Sam replied," The balcony."
*Road Closed*
Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road.
The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way.
They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later.
"Oh," she said distractedly as she pulled up next to the trench crew. " Oh, is it closed in this direction too?"
men and women..funny!
1-UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything
to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy,"Sorry, sir, but
you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you
don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle,
and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried
repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly
then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where y'all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle,
Sam replied," The balcony."
*Road Closed*
Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road.
The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way.
They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later.
"Oh," she said distractedly as she pulled up next to the trench crew. " Oh, is it closed in this direction too?"
men and women..funny!
1-UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything
to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
