*trigger*
I'm not sure what I can do to not make this triggering, so I just added the warning.
Ok, I've struggled a lot with my weight since I started high school (#years) yr# I'd never eat at school, I was always so scared that people were watching me & judging me. So I just didnt eat, this became more & more of a habit & by half way threw the yr, even though I wouldnt admit it, I had anorexia. the only mean I'd eat would be when I got home from school & i had the house # myself, but that I also vomited up.
by the end of the year, I didnt feel any thiner, but everyone was telling me 'ally, you've lost so much weight' it was over the summer that people started becoming concerened, my youth leaders would take the girls to the beach for the day & we'd be out from #:##am-##pm as we went to planetshakers after & they'd be really worried, I hadnt ate all day.
After school went back I felt better about my self & got over that, the only time I'd throw up was when I felt like I'd ate too much at dinner.
But now, I'm feeling very insucure about my size, as i gained back all the weight I had lost while I had the eatting disored, plus a bit more I think.
& I've been starting to throw up my food at lunch, if I eat when I get home from school & dinner. Today I fought so hard not to vomit up my lunch at school, especial after my friends said that they didnt wanted just them # as the buddy group for city experience in #weeks & tonight made it even worse b'coz I saw a photo of my full body at the skinest I got & I feel so awful bout myself.
I dont know what I'm trying to say in this post, Just I need some help with it. The eatting disored comes about a lot worse when I'm trying not to cut.
Yea. Sorry its such a long post.
I just wanna know what to do, is this an eatting disored? I think its one thats not officaly named.
What should I do?
