Helpp

[idontknow123]

Hello people I really need help,
For the past two years I have been a devout Christian. I have enjoyed walking with God and honestly love Him. However, my spiritual life is now almost gone. I have been struglling with bisexuality for a really long time. The urges off leaving God have become greater and greater. I recently had a really bad homosexual dream. Ive also engaged in really bad sexual affairs, which I hate soooo much. Ifeel as though I cannot be with God. I am a very dirty sinner and He a pure powerful God. I am the leader of the Christian club in my school. How can I be sinning while leadinh people to Christ? I feel fake, like God does not like me. I feel like I need to get far from Him, since I am so dirty. Further, He is always providing me a way out of temptation. I just never take it. I feel so bad. Ive been having thoughts of suicide. I know its not good, but sometimes I just htink i should just die to do God a favor. I am a huge problem for Him. He is too good and I too bad. I just need soo much help. I have so many probelms in my life right now. My mom is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerois, whhich basibally makes you paralyzed; my grandpa died a couple of months ago; my grandma is sick; my parents have no jobs; i barely have food to eat; im not doing good in school; i have super low self esteem; i have panic attacks almost everyday in school and so on. Someone please help me. I know God is love, I just can't see Him that way.. PLeaseeeeeeee I beg you just help me I want to be good with God again hopefully nobody judges me I am a sinner like the rest of us. Again, please nobody judge me I really hope somebody reads this b/c I need help. Esepcially since I go to a really athesit school and everyone sees me as the perfect Christian. I have struggles like them. And people are dependent upon me. I simply cannot leave God. Someone please help me sorry for saying that too much.

 

[an oddity]

Christ shall be our judge, so no judgment of you here. I am also a sin stained Christian.

While reading your plea I thought of David saying that God would not hear him if he regarded iniquity in his heart (paraphrased), so the first thing you might want to do is tell/name/cite/confess the things you told us above.

1 John 1: 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

This verse is a promise to us that IF we confess, He cleans us up and we are instantly back in fellowship with Him again. The 'all unrighteousness' mentioned are those sins you may have committed but did not realize were sins. This makes you in good standing with Him, if you are indeed a believer in the finished work of Christ on the cross and recognize Him as the uniquely born Son of God.

But there is more good news!

Psalm 50: 15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorify me.

Psalm 62: 8 Trust in Him at all times; people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us.

This is one of my favorites:
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Once you have talked all this out with God you might want to simply ask Him to direct your thought and paths in His way. We are told we have not because we ask not, so go for it! I also suggest you tell him about the conditions at home, because it would seem you are not the only one there who could use His help.

I pray that where grace can find a way you get back into fellowship wiwth Him, for Christ's sake.

 

[Christian Warrior]

Hello people I really need help,
For the past two years I have been a devout Christian. I have enjoyed walking with God and honestly love Him. However, my spiritual life is now almost gone. I have been struglling with bisexuality for a really long time. The urges off leaving God have become greater and greater. I recently had a really bad homosexual dream. Ive also engaged in really bad sexual affairs, which I hate soooo much. Ifeel as though I cannot be with God. I am a very dirty sinner and He a pure powerful God. I am the leader of the Christian club in my school. How can I be sinning while leadinh people to Christ? I feel fake, like God does not like me. I feel like I need to get far from Him, since I am so dirty. Further, He is always providing me a way out of temptation. I just never take it. I feel so bad. Ive been having thoughts of suicide. I know its not good, but sometimes I just htink i should just die to do God a favor. I am a huge problem for Him. He is too good and I too bad. I just need soo much help. I have so many probelms in my life right now. My mom is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerois, whhich basibally makes you paralyzed; my grandpa died a couple of months ago; my grandma is sick; my parents have no jobs; i barely have food to eat; im not doing good in school; i have super low self esteem; i have panic attacks almost everyday in school and so on. Someone please help me. I know God is love, I just can't see Him that way.. PLeaseeeeeeee I beg you just help me I want to be good with God again hopefully nobody judges me I am a sinner like the rest of us. Again, please nobody judge me I really hope somebody reads this b/c I need help. Esepcially since I go to a really athesit school and everyone sees me as the perfect Christian. I have struggles like them. And people are dependent upon me. I simply cannot leave God. Someone please help me sorry for saying that too much.

Im going to be brutally honest with you.

You make your own choices and not God or anyone else will make them for you.

Its all up to you.

No one can help you make the right choices, its all up to you. One choice at a time.