Helping the homeless: Where do you draw the line?

[LovebirdsFlying]

As stated in "Recovering from mental illness," due to a discussion at the recovery clubhouse I attend, the topic of helping the homeless was on my mind. I thought it fitting for the season.

From the NLT: Give to those who ask. (Matthew 5:42) Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! (Hebrews 13:2) It's been said, from these verses, that someone in need might be an angel sent to test our charity. Therefore, we should "never" refuse any beggar on any street corner who asks for loose change.

Realistically, though?

I have been homeless, I have known many others who are or have been homeless, and I come into contact with homeless people every day that I attend the clubhouse. Experience has taught me that the homeless, and/or people dependent on government assistance, fall into two categories. Those who *can't* help themselves, and those who *won't.*

Poverty can be a pit, nearly impossible to climb out of. We all know about how you can't get hired without experience, which you can't get unless someone hires you. But also, who would hire you if you show up for an interview in those stinky, threadbare, moth-eaten rags? No, you need to dress decently to go to a job interview, and to buy suitable clothes... you need a job. Then consider those with mental illness. How can a schizophrenic expect to keep a job, while wearing headphones and playing loud music to drown out the voices? And there are victims of domestic violence. It's either get hit, or get out. But they have no skills, no work history, and little hope. The drug addicts and alcoholics, it's easy to say they brought it on themselves, but many of them are self-medicating an underlying condition. If given a chance, they may recover.

Those people deserve help.

On the other hand... there are those who *won't* help themselves. I've come across quite a number who have a strong sense of entitlement, who don't think they should lift a finger to improve their station in life, but that any and all who have more than they do are OBLIGATED to give to them. I once lived in the same group home with a man who, every time he saw me, would demand (not ask, but demand) that I give him two dollars. If I (or anyone else he was pulling this on) resisted, he would get angry. "Aw, come on, it's only TWO DOLLARS!!!" Well, maybe, but if you were to give in every time he demanded it, those "two dollarses" would add up! Once he tried to corner me with, "I saw you getting out of a cab. You must be rich. You can afford to give me two dollars." Never mind that I had been provided with a voucher; it wasn't even me paying for the cab. His way of thinking was, if you have more than he does, you *have* to give him something and equal it out. Or else you're a rotten, mean, selfish piece of garbage.

Several years ago, I stopped handing money to homeless people on the street. I was on SSI myself, and not much better off than they were, but just one too many times, I was met with an angry glare because I didn't give them enough. And I thought, well, if that's your attitude, forget it. Once I "helped" a person with "gas money" for a car I never saw, only to have them reward my generosity by pickpocketing me for the rest of what I had. There went my rent for that month. Right up her nose, I suspect. I think that was the last straw. Even now, I'll drop a donation into the Salvation Army bucket or something, but I'm not going to put it directly into the person's hand.

I heard a man say, "The Salvation Army gives me a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and food to eat. Why should I look for a job?" That man was perfectly capable of working. I know, because he was my ex-husband. I also heard a friend of his complain about not liking to hang out at so-and-so's house, because so-and-so's mother was always asking him why he doesn't get a job. He commented with a growl, "What if I don't WANT to get a job?" Then there was a stranger who visited the church I was attending at the time, approached a friend of mine, and said, "I'm sure a good Christian like yourself would give a starving man a bite to eat." My friend nodded, pointed out that there was much work to be done on his property, and offered good money for it. The man walked away disappointed. He didn't want to work. He wanted a free meal.

Do *these* people deserve help?

 

[John S]

Whether a passerby wants to give money to a homeless person or not, that is entirely up to the individual. I don't believe that he/or she should feel guilty for choosing not to give money to that individual. That person may not have the financial resources to constantly hand out money all of the time.

I give you alot of credit for trying very hard to improve your lot in life.

 

[AlexBP]

There is no question of deserving when we talk about how to help people out of poverty. Charity necessarily has to mean treating people better than they deserve to be treated, or else it wouldn't be charity; it would only be practicality. As Jesus made clear in the parable of the prodigal son, the best kind of love is extravagant and goes far beyond what is called for.

The fundamental fact about homelessness in America right now is that the majority of homeless people are drunkards or drug addicts. If we simply hand them twenty-dollar bills, all we've done is given them the opportunity to make their problem worse and subsidized the local dealer or liquor store in the process. The way to actually address the problem of homelessness is through organized activity to provide food, shelter, counseling, and whatever other services are necessary. Giving food to food banks or volunteering with your church's heat shelter ministry makes things better. Handing cash to people on the street does not. If you see someone on the street and feel you should do something, don't give them money. Instead spend the money on some food and give them the food.

 

[MacNeil, D.]

I don't worry about the intentions of the recipient. If he or she is defrauding charity required of a Christian, that person has to answer to a Higher Authority.

My experience with street people is that the drunkards and drug addicts need help most. I'd like to live in a city where the needy wandered out of a Waltons episode, but that isn't likely.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

That's an interesting point, MacNeil, and since it appears to be your first post, welcome.

In giving to a person on the street, what is a good way to safeguard against the pickpocketing I described?

Or maybe my daughter has the right idea. After reading my OP, she advised, "If someone has a sign that says "need food," give them food. If they say "need gas," buy a gas can filled with gas, and bring it to them. Don't give them cash. Give them what they say they need it for."

Reminds me of the joke about the college student who complained, "I'm so mad at my parents. I wrote and told them I need money to buy a computer--and they sent me a computer!"

 

[MacNeil, D.]

Thanks for the welcome, Lovebirds.

There's no easy answer. I do believe we should approach the idea of Christian charity in a way that isn't looking for excuses (as in assuming that I'm buying someone's liquid lunch) not to behave charitably.

That doesn't mean you or anyone should be intimidated into giving by aggressive panhandlers, but some of them are just like that, some are mentally ill, some have spent time in jail or prison and have kept that attitude. I know that women volunteers at the mobile soup kitchen I have volunteered at are sometimes escorted because at times the people we serve can be ill mannered. Volunteer men are, once in a while, bumped by someone because this is a way of asserting dominance in street culture. You've just got to ignore it.

Remember, they are often resentful of the charity itself, and you're probably getting a little of that. That's just part of the price of doing His work.

If you see the same people on the street frequently, give them a pair of socks. You'd be surprised how valuable clean socks are to the homeless. Not kidding here. Or a clean water bottle. Notice that some of the people you encounter are carrying water in filthy containers that you wouldn't put in a hamster cage. Spare jacket.. I'm sure you can imagine more.

I've never.. not once .. regretted handing out a few bucks to someone.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I can't say I've never regretted it, since there is that pickpocketing incident. In that instance, when the woman asked for gas money, I should have instead bought her a can of gas. I never did see the car--I suspect she didn't have one and was scamming. Nowadays, if I see someone asking for gas money, and I don't see a car, I can't help being suspicious.

Does Christ intend us to give money indiscriminately to scammers? Would He do so? He had strong words for the scammers in the temple, and He expected Zaccheus to pay back anything he had defrauded people out of.

As for the aggressive "give me two dollars" guy, he was not homeless, nor was he a stranger to me. We lived in the same adult group home, and being disabled and on SSI, we had exactly the same monthly income. At that time, two dollars was about the price of a pack of cigarettes, and that's what he really wanted. He would have been just as temporarily satisfied if someone bought him a pack of cigarettes instead of giving him the cash. But every day? Every time he so rudely demands it? When I'm in the same boat he's in? Does Christ expect that of me?

And with my ex-husband and his friend, this Scripture comes to mind. 2 Thessalonians 3:10-13, from the NLT to be consistent with the OP.

Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.” Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good.​

This refers, obviously, to people who "refuse" to work, not to those who are unable. Yes, I recognize that the "never get tired of doing good" is aimed at me, and other disgruntled givers who have maybe been burned. But how much "good" does it do to simply feed someone's addiction, without leading them out of it?

 

[MacNeil, D.]

....
This refers, obviously, to people who "refuse" to work, not to those who are unable. Yes, I recognize that the "never get tired of doing good" is aimed at me, and other disgruntled givers who have maybe been burned. But how much "good" does it do to simply feed someone's addiction, without leading them out of it?

Tough call, to be sure. I was never able to tell who was or wasn't able to work at that soup kitchen line. So I never worried about it.

 

[ittarter]

Don't give out of guilt. This leads to the dark side.

When Jesus told his disciples to give, he never qualified generosity by saying "as long as they're unlikely to misuse the gift to further their own harm." This is particularly challenging to me and it makes me want to completely revamp my understanding of charity.

 

[childofGod31]

I think if we can help, we should. Little actions add up and the planet becomes better overall when people act nice to each other... It would be good if planet Earth was known for where "people help each other". There is a verse: cast your bread upon waters and it will return to you" I think it's an unwritten rule of the universe, like charma or something (don't know how else to describe it) where the more people do good and have the right attitude towards giving, the better life will become overall....one person at a time...

A few dollars could be the turning point in somebody's life, one act of kindness could change somebody's mind about something or change a life...we never know, but things we do affect others emotionally as well as physically.

 

[Mike Ward]

I don't think there is a right answer about who or how you should help, but I don't think you should feel guilty for not giving a person money everyime time they ask for it. You cannot help everybody so you have to make choices. If you hang on to your money beause you are greedy that is one thing, but that does not sound like the case here. If you want to do good, you can look for opporunities to help people that you beleive will be truly effective. There is so much good that needs to be done, there is no need to spend you energy doing things you aren't confidant are really productive. Instead find good things to do you really believe in.

Personally, I agree with AlexPB's approach, but on the other hand if you do think giving money to panhandlers is best then by all means do it. Just don't do it out of guilt or because they are pressuring you because there might be better ways to help them.

The main thing is don't beat yourself up over it and don't feel like you have to make the same decisions as other people. As long as you do something don't sweat it.