Helping Others

[flybywire]

Hi.

I'm not the victim of sexual abuse, but I thought you might be able to help me. A girl in my community was sexually abused by a stranger a year ago and is having a real hard time working through it. I've only known her for around 4 months, but I'm are the only one that knows about what went on. She has turned to me for help, being the only guy she trusts (I'm not too sure why that is, because I've had a fairly bad past,) and I'm at a loss for what to say to her/how to help her.

She has told me alot of what went on, and she said that has helped a little, but it's no where enough. What can I do to help her? What can I say/do that will make things better, for she is really badly affected by it. She gets the shakes violently sometimes, and is incrediby depressed. Her relationship with God has suffered, and she has attempted suicide a couple of times.

What do I do?

 

[flautist]

Here is a good list of things that supporters can do to help: http://www.river-crossing.org/supporters.php

 

[flybywire]

Thank you for the link to that site. Sometimes I feel so helpless, I just don't know what to do, and it feels that sometimes that I'm not doing anything. It is abit reassuring to know that even by just listening I am doing something small.

 

[Saucy]

You were supposed to come across this girl, regardless of your past. We've all had a bad past. Nobody has the fairy-tale past...but here's an opportunity to help a girl in need...something we've all been called to do. I know it's hard because you don't know how to handle this situation, but try to bring her closer and closer to God. Eventually she will heal as time goes on. God Bless.

 

[flautist]

Listening is the absolute best thing you can do! Don't downplay that very important role!

*hugs*

 

[silentpoet]

(I'm not too sure why that is, because I've had a fairly bad past,)

SO did Saul of Tarsus. His past would probably make yours look like a boy scout. Do not look down on yourself because of your past. Instead look to your future and to where God is taking you.

Others have posted good advice. Just listen, but also pray for wisdom, compassion, and guidance. I pray for those gifts for you.

 

[flybywire]

What can I do when she doesn't really want to know God anymore? She is blaming him for alot of what happened, what do I say to that?

 

[flautist]

http://www.river-crossing.org/religion.php
http://www.river-crossing.org/Jnote.php

Those are two good links on the "Where was God?" question.

Keep in mind that she may not be receptive to this line of conversation yet. I went atheist for a long time after my abuse, and wouldn't listen to anyone about God. I had to discover his love for me all over again on my own. She'll probably come back to it, but don't expect it to happen overnight.

 

[Stephanida]

The biggest thing you can do is listen and not judge. And let her know you don't judge her and that you support her and don't think it was her fault.

 

[cjfile2000]

The biggest thing you can do is listen and not judge. And let her know you don't judge her and that you support her and don't think it was her fault.

God listens and loves