I'm hoping this is in the right spot. Anyways, I guess this is just a rant...I really dont know, but im overcome by all my emotions at once, and im not getting answers. I am Christian, and just awhile ago I was doing fine, feeling closer to God, recieving His signs, but lately I've been questioning everything, and I havent been receiving answers and I dont think I can believe on faith alone. Just too many things going through my head at once, Im mostly sad, and angry, at everything I guess, at God for the rules He makes that He knows I wont understand, for all the suffering and pain in the world, and how God can just sit back and watch all of it. Now I guess I can understand how God wont interfere in our free-will, but whatever, its disheartening to say the least. I believe in Jesus and all, but I've been really questioning if he is the ONLY way to God, I cant say yes for certain, what happens to people who live good lives? When they die God doesnt give them a chance? They go to hell? Scripture says yes, I suppose, but if this is true, then Im un-certain of how I feel about God, and if I want to continue believing in Him and His love. I've never felt His love, and to be honest, I cant imagine an all loving God. Sure, it would be ideal but the more I think about it, it just seems like a bunch of hogwash people make up to feel better about the un-certainties of death. Im not gonna lie, I dont know if God exists for sure or not, and I dont think I can believe on faith alone, I dont know if the little voices I hear in my head are me manifesting my expectations of what an all-loving God would be like, or if it really is God. Life seems like just an illusion. Why is God so quiet? Does He expect us to live and worship on scripture alone? If He does, then I dont think I can follow Him, faith isnt something everyone has. and I keep on praying for God to send me a huge sign, something, anything, a messenger, angel, whatever He must to prove to me that He is the way, the only way, and that He truly exists. I mean, I've had experiences that I can explain that I have given credit to God, but how do I really know it is God? And not just what my brain expects God to be like? What if our brains are more powerful than we can imagine? And we manifest whatever existence suits our needs? I just dont understand, and God doesnt seem to care. When I cry asking for questions, I dont feel God, nobody wipes my tears, I cry alone and the tears dry up on my shirt, yeah, God is great huh. I mean, I have my own ideas about the afterlife, I dont believe in hell as an everlasting place of torment, per say, but if I believe this then arent I just as deluded as new-agers? I mean, what I believe isnt really based on scripture, its what I would like to think happens to us when we die. But what if when we die..thats it?? Lights out, and religion was just a farce to make you feel good about your lifes? Or what if God does exist...but no amount of words, or religion can put Him into words? And everything you thought about Him and the afterlife was wrong? Everything you thought about life was backwards? Or what if once you die you cease to exist, so you'd have no recollection of life anyways, so it really wouldnt matter if God exists or not. So then what about ojuia-boards? And spirtual-mediums? Are these just demons telling people that Jesus isnt the only way? Or are these spirtual-mediums on to something? I mean, if these really are demons, then how do they know so much about certain people? Can they know? Im at a weird turning point in my life, being 17 isnt easy and crying out for Gods love and understanding when He doesnt even answer back isnt easy either. How can God create something knowing that it will more than likely burn in hell forever? I have compassion for everyone, and if just ONE person doesnt make it to heaven, then is it even worth it? Lets say Heaven exists, how could I be there knowing that others suffer? and that God doesnt give people another chance? That He expects people to believe in someone he sent 2 thousand years before my existence? If we are created in Gods image than is it safe to assume that God would appear in human form? I mean, when we die, what will God look like? Or will He look like nothing, he'll just be energy or something? Were all the same, were human beings who sin, I could just as easily go to hell as the next guy, I dont know about that, it just seems so cruel. And theres so many things not covered in the Bible.If you've read all this im sorry, but I just dont see a point in life anymore, everything you do is insignificant and I cant be sure if life is whatever you want it to be or if God really does exist, and if you can manage to answer any of my questions that you find in this rant then please feel free to do so. More importantly, I would greatly appreciate if you could pray for me. Pray for God to send me something I can see, something I can understand, and not just scripture and thoughts in my head, I seriously need a miracle. If an all-loving God exists, then He will send me a miracle, right? who knows, life is random and guarantees nothing but death. I wish my parents had never given birth to me, life is too much pain, and the ends dont justify the means. Life is too confusing, and either: A. Satan is doing a very good job of confusing people, or B. Satan doesnt even exist and everything I thought to be real was just an illusion. Take care, please pray for me.